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  5. Volcano

    New to the forum

    Hi I am a carer for my daughter who bpd At the moment she has been in bed for over 4 months due to a complete crisis I can relate to the helplessness and exhaustion you go through
  6. Volcano

    Newbie

    Good afternoon I'm new here so a little unsure of how to navigate my way round I am a mum of a 23 year old daughter who has bpd diagnosed 4 years ago Currently in a crisis situation
  7. Scott wright

    BPD TREATMENT

    Hi guys. I’m trying the same thing right now and was advised to red the real reviews first before signing up to help. I think the residential thing sounds good but in hindsight yes you man might feel good going there and the change of scenery and soft non aggressive people will make him feel safe. But he still has to come back home again to reality and all the things around him that may cause issues. If you’d wouldn’t mind telling me a bit about his case I’d be in a better position to help. Only if you’d want advice from a long standing sufferer and I’ve been through all the channels regarding failed bpd help. Best wishes Scott Wright
  8. Scott wright

    How much stress can a bpd person take?

    Hi everyone I’m Scott I’m 42 live in the Scottish Borders with my three dogs. I was diagnosed with severe bpd in my 20’s and after 15 years of thinking what’s wrong with me?.?.? Why??? What??? Why me??? The question mark became an important symbolic thing to me. Until the diagnosis! Then I had a LABEL!! I came out thinking ooooh I have something recognised wrong with me I’m not just mad! I thought this was a good thing. Little did I know the Label was a label of a walking catch 22!! No real help for us out there they just reply on the inevitable happening and you breaking and taking the leap of death. NO was my choice I will not give in to this no matter how hard desperate alone lost f’d up I felt. There’s always something to snap you out of that mood and that’s all we need something to re direct that end thought. I tried online meditation for years and not once did it help until today I discovered mooji on YouTube & I actually fell asleep for two hours after his guided meditation! im being forced to look for anew house to live in as my rogue landlord is losing his landlords license..it’s stressing me out as no one really wants to let to you with dogs. My dogs sleep most of the day there so lazy it’s unbelievable there quiet and not destructive. ive been here 6-7years and in that time I’ve been sexually harassed by my landlord wife for years told to strip off. Had my ass slapped by her. I looked after a neighbours wife with severe dementia for 2years as no one else would help so I had to step up as even her husband didn’t help her. I drew the line when she was naked covered in her own poo when I went down one morning to help her get ready for dementia club. So I fought her corner and got her into a care home where she can get proper care. Ive lost my brother because he’s so jealous that his son looks like me his uncle! How can I help genetics is beyond me. So I have no support from him anymore. It hurts because I always defended him as a boy against our abuser our father. I found out a few years ago my ex got raped and my daughter was dead in side her before they got to hospital. I was only a few weeks away from being a dad. This haunts me daily and I don’t know how to move on from it. I have tried to be there for her but she can not see my face as she says our daughter looked just like me and not her & my face reminds her of that night. It’s killing me. She won’t even reply anymore and I get it. I tried to move on myself by using a dating site. Most women want to know if you got kids? Soon as that question comes I break down. I’ve explained what happened to a couple of online women and I was told by 1 this sounds a bit bullshit*y. The other said I was a liar. I thought oh I won’t be meeting up with you as who in the world would make up anything like that. my question is would I be better looking for another bpd woman who gets it and try a relationship with them instead of someone with no understanding of mental health? thanks for your time....Scott Wright
  9. Alice234

    BPD TREATMENT

    Hello! I have been looking into treatment for my partner who has been diagnosed with BPD. We want to take a residential/inpatient route, as he has been struggling with acute treatment services through the NHS for quite a while. I have been wondering if anyone has any experience with private mental health companies (e.g., Priory, Cygnet) and therapeutic communities, and if so - which ones would you recommend? It seems there are a lot of options, but I am not sure which ones to trust and what step to take! Thanks
  10. kayla1986

    anger

    hello my name is kayla i am alomst 34 years old, i live at home with my mum and dad being in there 60's i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with mixed states it feels overwhelming somtimes i feel i can mind read people and i feel like the neighbours think im a psycho but im not, they dont know my diagnosis, i have had intense anger about i guy i new for 10 years and we moved house and moved 4 hours away relationship got difficult, i have so much anger i used alcohol to deal with the emotions and feel as if i need attention by people when im not getting it i hope everyone else out there with this challenging and difficult diagnosis out there is staying stonr, i have intense meltdowns and i can be scocially naieve and make the wrong friends i have to give myself a week to build myself up again its like a eruption of a volcanoe emotions and thoughts and ruminating over and over also my mum noticed i have a different accent when i talk and i try mimic and copy a culture so i can find my identity take 375mg venlafaxaline and 50mg seroquel helps with anger and mirtazipene, i have a aroma diffuser on at night with relaxing oils and binaural beats i just do non sociable activities i got very angry at a guy in public and said things i shouldnt have said i was so angry, does anyone know what helps with reducing faulty thinking and anger just a bit stuck, kindrest regards kayla horvath
  11. JoannLem

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  12. Saharah Blue

    Hi All

    Hi Data, Good to see you around, I am here on and off but, I love seeing the old names, I am glad read you are feeling grateful for what you have going in your life. Myself, I am doing so much better than the old days and I keep a eye out on the site for others. Take care, Sah
  13. Data

    Hi All

    I am posting in good day and recovery as I think I am lucky in some ways: I have a great family. I love my wife deeply and we have been married 20 years. I have a well paid job which is secure and am working from home. I am covid-free and so are my family. There are a lot of major challenges as well, but I thought I'd be thankful for what I have. I would like to give a shout out to old friends on here :). I learned so much from this person and became a better person.
  14. kazzamunga

    Dad with BPD

    Writing to find out what the best way to cope with an unstable father who has irrational reactions and huge mood swings. We think he has BPD because he ticks more than five of the BPD boxes. My mum died a bit less than two years ago and this has really exposed his behaviour. We as his (adult) children obviously had a good idea about his mood swings but we've also realised how much work she must have put in to keep him as much on a level as possible. They still argued all the time, but he wasn't like this. He's currently blocked me on WhatsApp because I spoke to my aunt on the phone. She has become the object of most of his venom since my mum died, but he caused an ongoing family feud for years before that with my uncle (all on my mum's side of the family, not his own), which only resolved itself quite recently (because my uncle just let bygones be bygones and my dad chose another enemy to brood on). He also directs the same kind of hatred towards his mother and his sister, who has now died, and, to an extent, me. I don't feel loved by him, I feel like he is suspicious of me and my intentions, and also trying to get a rise out of me and cause arguments by constantly bringing up topics that he knows we disagree on. I am sure if I read about people's stories here I will find much worse versions of the disorder. My boyfriend knew a guy with BPD who killed himself, and I know that lots of them self-harm etc, my dad doesn't do that, other than drinking a lot and then twisting the truth about that. But he is *so* hard to deal with, so hard to please, so hard to be normal around because he gets offended by everything. Fair enough that he is not in a position where he can offer any emotional support to any of his three offspring since mum died (and we have done our best with offering him support, but it's like a bottomless pit, you'd never be able to give him enough)...but he desperately wants all three of us to cut contact completely with our aunt, who was my mum's only sister, who has always been a particular support to me and my sister (far more than my dad has ever been). My sister and brother have already distanced themselves from my aunt for an easy life, but I really don't see why I should, when we've always been close and I can relate to her much better than my dad. He thinks we talk about him, when it's the last thing I'd want to talk to her about. It's a complicated situation, and I know it's a condition with a broad range of behaviours, so I'm not sure how much help anyone can give. Especially as he definitely won't look into DBT. He still has counselling, which he started about a week after my mum died, and he's even really nasty to the counselor. She must have noticed his inability to control his moods, but she unfortunately hasn't referred him on to anyone. It's just really hard work and to be honest however hard any of us try, it keeps coming back to him having a meltdown and pushing us all away, then us reconnecting, him seeming balanced for a while, and then something small triggering another meltdown - it's an exhausting cycle. He's gone AWOL lots of times since my mum died, but he hasn't ever singled me out to block me before. I feel a bit numb about that kind of thing now, it doesn't even seem like a big deal, except I know that he sees that sort of thing as very symbolic (he's constantly checking peoples' WhatsApp if they don't respond to him, is paranoid about whether they've blocked him, etc - so I know the kind of anger that would have led him to do it). We feel like we're on our own (at least there are three of us, and my sister and I have supportive partners), but where we would normally turn to family, we feel we can't, because he is just constantly telling us how disloyal and crap we are. Do I really have to cut contact with people I love, to please a father that really shows me no love at all?
  15. JRC

    Ms j

    I cannot understand...... I cannot understand what is wrong with me!!! I was diagnosed with depression many years ago. I have been on tablets most of my life. What I cannot understand is why when I am more fortunate than most, do I feel so low!!! I have a lovely home, loving partner, a little job to see me into my retirement , and two wonderful children, and grandchildren. So why, am I so unhappy? It's like I have forgotten how to be happy. I have lost my appetite, so I tend to eat only because I need to, and I feel queasy a lot of the time. I have no inclination to do anything anymore. Why? I feel so fed up.
  16. I have BPD and live in Northern Ireland, too. It was almost 2 years ago that I was diagnosed with it- although it has been hard that I have been struggling eith it. I turn 22 in August. It is hard to manage living with BPD when other people around you don't know what it feels like, because they don't live with the condition themselves.
  17. Saharah Blue

    BPD and my relationship

    amajm, I can relate to the behaviors in yourself that you are describing, however, you are fully responsible for the way in which you treat others. I have found in my own experience that it tends to be the people we want closes to us that also triggers us into acting out in a way that we need more validation. Are you in therapy right now? Sah
  18. Saharah Blue

    New to the forum

    This forum is dedicated with actual sufferers of mental illness. It is has not bee set up for partners, parents and caregivers. It is a peer support forum only. If you are looking for support for your loved one, there are other forums that are equipped for this.
  19. Fi80

    New to the forum

    Hi I’m new too with a partner who has unstable emotional personality disorder. Life is very tough right now. We both work and have 3 kids. I’m often the verbal punch bag and it’s now daily , often asking me to leave, telling me it’s over, blocking etc then 30seconds later please don’t leave me. I find it exhausting and very hard because I love them unconditionally but at the same time have no one to talk too, friends tell me to leave but I know that’s not the answer. it would be good to hear from others in the same situation
  20. Normally when I am hurt, I tend to lash out and say the most cruel things I can think of to my boyfriend. We have had a generally rocky relationship which has been on and off for four years. I want this time to be different. When I say these hurtful things to him and hurt him, he usually wants to have some time alone (usually about a day), but then I get really clingy and don't want him to leave because I feel like he's going to leave me completely or cheat on me. I feel like maybe I am being irrational and should just give him the time? I do not want to ruin the relationship as I always do but when he needs time alone I feel abandoned, like he hates me, or would do things behind my back. I hate feeling alone when he's gone but would rather leave him his time if its best. I am really trying to change my behaviors. But right now I am having this huge breakdown because he wont speak to me and is upset. I dont know if I can handle the pain of feeling alone.
  21. Saharah Blue

    Newbie Here

    Josh, Hi, welcome. Just thinking a moment about what you have written, it reminds me that a good deal of MH symptoms surface when we are under stress and strain and I wonder if these feelings are surfacing as a result of a mix of your current life stresses and possible things in your past that are vying for your attention? Sah
  22. Saharah Blue

    how do i tell my mum about my bpd diagnosis

    Personally, I would not mention an exact DX just talk about some the struggle with MH and not feeling up to certain things when you don't feel you are able to participate, family doesn't magically become supportive, it has to be learned and often instigated by the parents for the whole family to adopt a new way of interacting.
  23. dedog101

    how do i tell my mum about my bpd diagnosis

    i dont know how much help i can be, but if youd ever like to talk to somebody who also suffers with bpd, you can message me on twitter @yungskrrtgod or instagram @connofwgkta666
  24. then same, im a 22 year old male living in ballymoney. ive lost everything to this, all i want is somebody i can trust. if you want to be friends with the outlook of meeting up in real life, message me on twitter @yungskrrtgod or on instagram @connofwgkta666
  25. PeteM

    New to the forum

    HI everyone.... A little about me... Im a 43 year old man who has no close family left. I've been diagnosed with bpd/eupd for around 5 years but i suspect (like many others) that I have been suffering with this for more years than I actually realise. I used to have the best support network with friends and psych's and support workers but having gone through a period where things weren't so bad, I pretty much lost all of it as it was deemed that I didn't need it anymore. Ive had severe problems with self harm in the past where I have been to hospital several times to have an ungodly amount of cuts dressed (as a result, my arms are now shoulder to wrist covered in scars). Ive made two attempts on my own life in the past and to be honest im thankful that I didn't succeed and the desire to do something of that ilk is now virtually non-existent. I find myself in a situation now where I have devoted my life to something in the hope that it might lead me out into a brighter future...only now after some years its beginning to look more and more like my effort has been for nothing. It hurts more than I ever thought something like that would. I feel useless.... I have a couple of really good friends left but they too have their own issues that they live with... I live in the middle of a city but Ive never felt so alone. Im always there for people since I know what it is really like to have no one, but now i need people to be there for me and there is no one. Its just me again....I feel as if Im fighting a battle with a slippery slope. thankyou if you have read this...time is one of things that we all give to people but its the one thing we can never take back. I appreciate the time taken to read this
  26. faithlessone

    Hold your nerve

    I think it's a load of bull and a massive over reaction by the Gov. Scared of the MSM
  27. faithlessone

    New to the forum.

    First things first You have to tell her what you have told us, show her this thread, Secondly talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to the local community mental health team, it is scary at first but worth it, To me it sound like you have something like me, your behaviour is similar to mine, heavy drinking, reckless spending, broken relationships, self harm (for me it was getting into lots of fights and only being satisfied after having the shit kicked out of me) Eventually I tried to kill myself and consequently was taken seriously by the CMHT & was diagnosed with BPD at age 42, that was 10 years ago & I'm still here I've had a lot more good years than bad since my diagnosis I'm struggling at the mo with this lockdown situation but no where near the way I would have before my diagnosis, There is light at the end of the tunnel good luck mate!
  28. hi, i'm 20 years old and have always suffered with mental health issues, mainly depression. when i was about 16 i started developing multiple signs of bpd, i had been living with this for about 3 years and then when i was 18 i moved out of my family house and started to realise just how unstable i had become. i did nhs therapy for a few months until i eventually received a bpd diagnosis. its been about 6 months since i was diagnosed and i am still struggling internally with this , it has put alot of things into perspective for me and im glad i now have an idea of what i'm dealing with. i haven't told anyone, not my roommates/best friends, my brother, but i especially have not told my mum. the problem is my mum quite clearly has some serious mental health issues herself, and she has used me as her sort of therapist for as long as i can remember, but she has no awareness of mental health and is very naive to the topic. she is extremely sensitive and takes everything people say very personally, when she feels she is being blamed for something it triggers a downward spiral that the whole family has to endure. she is extremely insecure about her parenting in the past when we were younger, she feels like she neglected us as she was completely dedicated to her work for our entire childhood. because our interactions were so based on me talking her through her own insecurities and issues, i became the therapist at a very young age. i think because of this i have never felt comfortable sharing my own issues/emotions, especially with my mum as i am the glue that holds her together and keeps her stable. now because of the virus, i am back at home living with her and my brothers. i am constantly triggered and having to hide my emotions more than usual, as when i do show them i'm seen as rude or too sensitive. i know things might be easier or they would be more understanding if i told them about my bpd but i do not know how i can tell my mum. i know the first thing shell do is research it and see that a common cause is being neglected as a child and she will instantly blame herself for this and it will confirm all her worst fears about being a 'bad' parent. i'm worried she will resent me for this, and that she wont know how to interact with me and will get too caught up in researching and it will become all she thinks of me as, her parenting failure. please if anyone has any advice, or experience with telling a parent about their bpd i would love another opinion because i really do not know what to do.
  29. Sa1

    New to the forum

    Hi I replied but may not have submitted correctly! I’d love to chat/share/ catch up as my husband also struggles with his emotions daily. Hi, Im new and seeking similar people with partners with diagnosed/suspected BPD. My husband suffered trauma from very early age but has learnt quite impressively to control his own anger on a day to day basis. Our relationship runs along the lines of a rollercoaster with regular crises which I have learnt to recognise and I try to deal with as best I can with boundaries and active listening to the fullest of my ability. We are in lockdown and the crises are more frequent with shorter breaks in between...it’s pretty much every 2 weeks or so rather than the usual 3 months. This is unsurprising without the distractions of work and everyday routines. i just wonder if anyone else would like to share everyday thoughts and frustrations in the absence of our usual friendship networks as I don’t like to share my side of feelings with him around on the phone to my friends as that’s my time and opportunity to distress/ unwind. hopeful, Sa1
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