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  1. Yesterday
  2. Hi this place is pretty dead so do not expect too much from the place, apparently it was a lively place sometime ago i think many folk did come here to moan about stuff, so if no one is here then maybe its a good thing maybe all the talkers are now recovered successful outcomes or maybe they killed themselves who knows what i have learned is that you should type "trigger warning" before you begin then you will not offend anyone Mocha, hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, chin up don't let them get you down
  3. Last week
  4. Hey there! I'm new to the site so I thought I'd greet you all before joining in. I have asperger's syndrome and an on/off history with anxiety and depression. I've recently left uni without totally completing my course...and my self esteem is just really low at the moment and I've been looking for a small community where I can be myself and interact with others. Half the time I think I spiral downwards just because I'm bored and lonely but who knows lol I am usually an outwardly cheerful and friendly person, so don't be afraid to chat with me about anything, even if its totally random.
  5. Hello people, I have been with my girlfriend nearly 6 months now, when we first became a couple she was still in hospital ( she was hospitalized for two years). I never knew her before she was in hospital and we only met around Christmas time just gone so things did pick up quick. I was aware of her mental health before we was together and I did a lot of research before we even got together so I could try and understand, she was an amazing human being so it did not bother me, at first it didn't show very much, this might be a lot to do with still being in hospital and having therapy most days. Everything is good most of the time, I do feel she handles her BPD really well, or she at least hides it very well. In the last week or so she has cut down her Quetipine which has a really negative affect due to withdrawals I'm guessing, things are getting very intense and it's now everyday she's really upset and snapping at me for small things, for example we was meant to go and visit my dad but I change my mind a few times in a week and she got really angry with it. I went to play tennis with a female friend the other day and she got really upset and wouldn't really talk to me and started having second thoughts about us, saying it's easier to walk away than deal with, she also smashed a bowl the other day which is the most aggressive I have seen her as she usually handles it well. I feel like her mental health is slipping away more and more, she no longer gets therapy (since march) as the waiting list for NHS is two years she got told the other week, we are going to look in to private therapy and I've offered to help pay for this as she cannot afford it alone. I am struggling with this because when she gets upset or angry I always think it's my own fault and I try help her and it's really stressing me out as I want to help, I do always ask what's wrong which seems to make things worse so I do try and just let her be but it's hard, sitting there seeing her suffer. She gets very jealous and wants to self harm if I hang out with a girl, I do reassure her a lot that I only want to be with her and that I would never leave her, but it doesn't really help a lot of the time. The other problem I have is with her ex, she is best friends with her ex (female) and they sleep round each others, she says there is nothing other than friendship but they do say things like I love you, but she insists it's just as friends. when I confront her about this she gets really annoyed and defensive, which then causes her moods to get worse. She makes me feel like I'm in the wrong and I should be okay with this and just let her do it, so I always end up saying it's okay but then I can't help bring it back up as it really hurts, her ex also has bpd, what doesn't help this is the fact she told me she prefers girls to guys (I'm a guy). she is such a lovely person and I really want it to work with her, I am trying hard to stay positive and was hoping for advice on how to help her and how to deal with the mood swings. Any help will be appreciated, thank you
  6. This is a private forum and conducting research on the site is not permitted.
  7. Hello everyone, I am a PhD student in Health Psychology at Lancaster University (UK) and I am interested in how university students in English-speaking countries deal with the stress of being a student, with a particular focus on mindfulness and emotion regulation. If you are currently studying at university, could you spare a few minutes to complete this quick survey: https://lancasteruni.eu.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_ddu056B7knpc7jf&Q_JFE=0 The results will have the potential of informing new mindfulness-based services aimed at improving students' mental health in higher education institutions across the world. Thank you
  8. Earlier
  9. Help… I have a problem with my mom. She was always a very intelligent, tactful and responsible person. During my childhood, teenage years and adulthood (along with my younger brother) I received a healthy dose of love, help and visible engagement in my everyday life. I consider myself a valuable human being capable of doing good for others and the environment. It goes without saying that my mom played her part well in process of my upbringing. It breaks my heart to watch her change and simultaneously lose everything that she worked for her whole life. At the moment, because of these behavioral changes, my mom is losing her job, friends and her rented apartment… The first step to help her is DIAGNOSIS but after reading and educating myself in psychiatry a little, I come to the conclusion that this may be the most difficult if not impossible step since there are as many theories as there are people… That’s why I decided to write this with the hope that somebody, somewhere experienced a similar ‘’Problem’’ and recognizes the symptoms. Thank you in advance. MY OBSERVATIONS: Current ailments and observations: Memory problems, lack of focus, energy loss, behavioral changes, primitive lies, illogical thinking, lack of responsibility and consequences for (bad) decisions, repeating the same story many times, avoiding doctors, loneliness, some delusions (e.g. “this car is not safe to drive”, “the ceiling is going to fall down” etc.), random fears, bad diet (repetitive fast food habits), listening to the same music CDs (‘’on repeat’’), swaying from side to side, nervous tics on the face-mouth (dissatisfaction), lack of tact and good manners, deteriorating personal hygiene and neglecting household duties (saving up on water and dirty flat), "racing" from traffic light to light as if life depends on it(i.e. fast, reckless driving), excessive saving on basic things (water, food etc.). Positive observations: Lack of speech disturbance, lack of sleep disturbance (7-8h), generally in good mood, neat and well-kept appearance. Possible factors and triggers: Loss of 2 beloved dogs (2y ago), numerous conflicts with partner over last 20+ years leading to divorce and moving out from him (8 months ago), second son's departure from family’s home (7 years ago), father's death (13 years ago), grandmother's death (4 years ago). Additional information: The patient does not believe/is aware that there is something generally wrong with her. She is not aware, (rejects idea) of occurring psychological changes; admits to problems with memory only (the only category of sickness which she doesn’t avoid treatment and help). Duration: about 1-2 years (according to colleagues from work) Initiation: mild (according to family and friends) Course: The symptoms seem to slowly aggravate Severity: The patient does not seem to suffer but the ailments greatly harm social and occupational everyday functioning. please write to : Jack greenblackmole@gmail.com Thank You.
  10. Help… I have a problem with my mom. She was always a very intelligent, tactful and responsible person. During my childhood, teenage years and adulthood (along with my younger brother) I received a healthy dose of love, help and visible engagement in my everyday life. I consider myself a valuable human being capable of doing good for others and the environment. It goes without saying that my mom played her part well in process of my upbringing. It breaks my heart to watch her change and simultaneously lose everything that she worked for her whole life. At the moment, because of these behavioral changes, my mom is losing her job, friends and her rented apartment… The first step to help her is DIAGNOSIS but after reading and educating myself in psychiatry a little, I come to the conclusion that this may be the most difficult if not impossible step since there are as many theories as there are people… That’s why I decided to write this with the hope that somebody, somewhere experienced a similar ‘’Problem’’ and recognizes the symptoms. Thank you in advance. MY OBSERVATIONS: Current ailments and observations: Memory problems, lack of focus, energy loss, behavioral changes, primitive lies, illogical thinking, lack of responsibility and consequences for (bad) decisions, repeating the same story many times, avoiding doctors, loneliness, some delusions (e.g. “this car is not safe to drive”, “the ceiling is going to fall down” etc.), random fears, bad diet (repetitive fast food habits), listening to the same music CDs (‘’on repeat’’), swaying from side to side, nervous tics on the face-mouth (dissatisfaction), lack of tact and good manners, deteriorating personal hygiene and neglecting household duties (saving up on water and dirty flat), "racing" from traffic light to light as if life depends on it(i.e. fast, reckless driving), excessive saving on basic things (water, food etc.). Positive observations: Lack of speech disturbance, lack of sleep disturbance (7-8h), generally in good mood, neat and well-kept appearance. Possible factors and triggers: Loss of 2 beloved dogs (2y ago), numerous conflicts with partner over last 20+ years leading to divorce and moving out from him (8 months ago), second son's departure from family’s home (7 years ago), father's death (13 years ago), grandmother's death (4 years ago). Additional information: The patient does not believe/is aware that there is something generally wrong with her. She is not aware, (rejects idea) of occurring psychological changes; admits to problems with memory only (the only category of sickness which she doesn’t avoid treatment and help). Duration: about 1-2 years (according to colleagues from work) Initiation: mild (according to family and friends) Course: The symptoms seem to slowly aggravate Severity: The patient does not seem to suffer but the ailments greatly harm social and occupational everyday functioning. please write to : Jack greenblackmole@gmail.com Thank You.
  11. I have to be careful what I listen to, whether it's certain types of music or even certain talk radio subject matter. I think a famous philosopher said something to that effect. It's such a bummer when I'll be in one mood and then I'll hear a song in a grocery store and all of a sudden it's like I'm infected with a downer emotion.
  12. Welcome back Kittenmittens, I remember you and I still love your name and avatar
  13. hi chelle63, I too tend to be very quiet about my dx. I have really only been open on this site about my MH struggles. IRL, I listen to others talk of their struggle but rarely have ever shared the full extent of my behavior, thoughts, and feelings. I have done DBT too and had a lot of therapy in my life. I have found the forum to be a refuge, even though it has gone very quiet, it continues to help, knowing it is here and feels like the appropriate place to talk. I hope you feel comfortable and Welcome
  14. I have had movies trigger me too, sometimes the sadness or pain the charter's face match feelings I have had, sometimes the dark moody tones of the film leave me feeling the same. As a part of trying to regulate my moods I will intentionally not participate in act ivies that make it harder to do so. I often refrain from listening to music with lyrics that make me feel stuck in a emotion, or movies, or even books that leave me feeling like I need to pick up traits from the character and keep it going, even after the last chapter is read. What helps me is to engage in something entirely different, go out for a walk, or clean the house, or even make a shopping list and set out to the store. Often it is the average normal daily life activities that make a quick mood shift.
  15. Hey Chelle63, That's what this forum is for - to discuss mental health with other sufferers! Welcome to the forum - I hope you like it Much love <3
  16. Hey bhadbhabie, Movies can affect some people more than others. In the same way that some people cried at The Notebook and others didn't, it's likely that some people feel more emotionally vulnerable towards movies than others. I don't think it's weird at all, because people react in different ways - no surprises there. At the end of the day, you'll realise that it may have been relatable, but it was just media, which can be realistic but isn't real. Take the time to process your emotions, and then use logic to bring yourself back to your normal life. Much love <3
  17. Hello - First, you're NOT ALONE!! I've had similar experiences myself. One time I saw a horror movie and it also triggered a reaction which left me both physically and mentally sick. My wife couldn't understand. The lack of support and empathy from her made me feel even more vulnerable and ultimately worse. It really sucks when you just want someone to care and ease your pain. They fact that most people really don't understand & want to understand really makes me feel isolated, lonely to the point where I just want to run the fuck away to the airport, book a trip to some beautiful place and say fuck everyone and everything!! I feel like a slave to this world where chaos rules and I'm just trying to survive the insanity.
  18. Hey. Just found this. Im 54 and was diagnosed BPD 2 years ago. After reading the symptoms I realized that I was suffering from it since I was a child. I was told I was bipolar 12 years ago. I never thought I was. It was a relief because I had left my 1st Dr. and ended up in hospital where I was introduced to a new one who gave me some "homework". It was an article on BPD. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like the article had been written about me! I still struggle with the symptoms but the DBT really helped. It was only 8 weeks but enough to help me. So glad to have found this because I feel embarrassed to have a mental illness so I don't talk to friends or go out with them. No one can help me so I just keep everything to myself. Sorry this is so lengthy. Thanks for listening.
  19. I just signed up on these forums because I needed a place to explain my situation to individuals who might be able to empathize and suggest ways forward. I had just recently watched a film, Closet Monster, and it has left me absolutely shaken. I've been depressed for three days now after watching it, and I can't exactly say why that is. Perhaps it is generic post-movie depression? Or it could be because the traumas the main character went through were so similar to mine, it was almost as if I was the main character myself. I feel as if, due to that reason, I have been "triggered" and it's set me off. I honestly feel so depressed and need a solution to this asap. After getting through my past traumas almost two years ago, and properly recovering to my old self a year ago, I have been an emotionally resilient person who was far, far from neurotic. But it seems this video just hit all the soft spots and that's what's really made me this emotionally vulnerable. I really don't know what to do, I'd like to go back to being how I was before I watched the film (though I don't regret the film - it was amazing). I really need advice because I have this perpetual anxiety and depressed mood which sometimes prevents me from sleeping and eating.
  20. Just letting you know on the leaderboard area of the forum, When your signed out you can see blogs what have been liked by other members as mine is showing up on there and I think its to all areas even the ones you can only see when signed in too... Not sure if you can take it away or something we just have to get used too :/...
  21. Hey Welcome back! <3
  22. Welcome back
  23. Just to introduce myself. I was here before but it was a while ago so I don't think anyone will remember me, no matter It's been about two years, maybe longer. I was well for a good long time but have been struggling recently. Am hoping to get a wee bit of support. So hello everybody, cheers, Egg Ah silly me! Upon checking my profile (which I should have done in the first place!!) I can see that I was last here in 2014. I recognized a couple of names and hope to re-connect.
  24. Hi Patagonia, The reason they won't be 100% willing to go for this diagnosis may be because some symptoms overlap between anxiety and BPD, and some traits of BPD may actually be traits of anxiety. They can't treat you for something if they aren't sure you have it. The other thing is that you're absolutely right about the medication. It will address neural imbalances in your brain, but it won't forcibly change your attitudes or behaviours. That comes with proactively working hard towards certain goals. I think the metaphor you used works really well to explain - medication preps you for the race, but won't help you run the race itself. Hope you feel better soon x Much love <3
  25. I've been diagnosed with Social and Generalized Anxiety many years ago and after the most recent stint in the hospital (first time) the BPD diagnosis is now on the table. It has been difficult because no-one seems to be willing to 100% go with this diagnosis, although many say they definitely see traits of it. There seems to be a lot of stigmas attached to it. I've found psychiatrists to be of minimal help - and medication also moderately helpful but does not resolve any of the issues. I look at it more like something you use to get you ready for a run to make sure you don't pull a muscle, but won't actually help you run the race. I have just started on DBT and so far am finding it helpful. I still feel anxious and confused much of the time and not in control, but I do have moments of clarity where I feel I can see with more perspective (perhaps the intersection of wise + rational mind) and for now am holding onto to that.
  26. Hi gaingame6, You were traumatised, stuck in anxiety and had bad feelings BEFORE you moved into the house, so the house isn't responsible for these feelings. Remember, you yourself say that you've associated one with the other, but are they ACTUALLY associated? Personally, I believe that we have a lot of free will, and I reckon that if you think that you've associated anxiety and bad feelings with the house, you can break that association as well. Just because you had bad feelings while you moved in, doesn't mean that one necessarily caused the other. They simply may have happened at the same time without any relationship whatsoever. I think the reason you've associated them together is because, since they happened at the same time, one must have caused the other. The reality is that this simply isn't true, and it's likely that you've come to this conclusion in search for an answer, rather than actually finding the cause of these issues. Hope this helps x Much love <3
  27. Hi everyone i hope you're doing well , can someone please help me. i've always been happy my entire life , untill when i had a panick attack about almost 3 years ago , after that i got anxious and little depressed because they were new feelings for me , happily , i did found my way since many many months ago , i faced and solved my problems , understood how to beat the anxiety trick (total life changment and re-gained my old happy confidednt self) The problem now is that we moved to a new house (me and my family) and it happened to be in the time where i was still traumatized and stuck in anxiety and bad feelings.The first 2 months that i lived in this NEW house , i was still in the worst part of my life . I ASSOCIATED bad feelings with this house . Just like a perfume that reminds someone of a bad breakup with a partner and he wants to get rid of it , same thing for me with this home. Even if had also many good moments , but THAT bad BEGINNING , i just couldnt forget it ,so i never accepted staying in this house. I explained to my parents this but they didnt accept to move from this house. Im feeling low because its been a long time that i have decided not do any new major event or actions in my life untill i move out of this house => and i think this way because i'm afraid and dont want to remember that the BEGINING of a NEW major event of my life took place in this house , and if i were to remember it in the future i would feel very bad if it happened in our old house i would totaly accept it and that's because it would have happened in the middle , not at the BEGINNING of living in the house , just like life , sometimes we fall down in life and we continue.All of that makes sense to me , my problem is because it happened at THE BEGINNING This may seem stupid for you but it is very important and it effects me alot i only need a different way of thinking that would make sense to me Can someone help me what to do or How to think diferently about this beginning obsession ,anyway to view this thing differently ?
  28. Hi Ziba, Welcome to the forum. It's not so active nowadays, but you still get the odd member pop up here and there Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Luckily for you, you're still 32, so you have plenty of time to work on yourself and repair what you need to. Think of it as a new start, where you make some changes to work towards a happier life. Personally, I found that building up my own self esteem and confidence was the key to opening up socially and being more comfortable around others. You stop doubting your own abilities so much, and can focus on talking to others. I think you may struggle to build up social skills without addressing the underlying issues of trust and feeling empty. Once these are sorted, you should see more stable and comfortable friendships pop up Much love <3
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