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  1. Yesterday
  2. Hi, I am Satyam Mishra from India, I'm new here. I want to explore my knowledge about mental health through this forum. Thank you
  3. Last week
  4. bubbles - having read your comment, I logged out I was shocked to find I could access masses of threads/posts the only ones not available were the 'dark' topics and of course the 'site supporters' area I thought it was only light topics that were on public display it is sad to see the shell this place has become
  5. I think the issues started when the owner upgraded the forum. It used to be private but now the public can read posts. It can be off putting. I admit to being one of those people.
  6. Yes it's quiet here. Maybe we all got better lol
  7. Hi CJ welcome
  8. Welcome
  9. Hi Fabbychic i remember you from some years ago when I was as more active on here. Yes it's much quieter than it was and no I don't think there's a Facebook group/page. Perhaps we should start one? Lol tbh I didn't make sense of the drug habit question. Are you asking what drugs make you see clearly or ??? Be nice to catch up john
  10. Hi, i'm new here I'm writing because I would like some advice on my situation. I'm a teenager who has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. However, Im not sure if this is what I actually have, or if there might be something else. this is why I'm writing and seeking advice, because after thinking and contemplating about myself, I've decided that perhaps my worries might be true. I haven't talked to my psychiatrist about my mental health worries because it's hard to meet up with him right now. Please don't dismiss this as just a teenage phase or anything, because some of the things that are bothering me, such as my behaviour, have been present since I was a kid. I’m not saying that this isn’t a teenage problem, it could be, but it’s just that after a long time of reasoning with myself and introspective thinking, I think that I should consider this to be an issue that needs to be looked at. Sorry if this is really long, I'm in a terrible state right now with few people to turn to. My parents don’t understand, I’ve opened up to them many many times, but it’s just difficult and I’m dealing with this by myself. I am deeply grateful for any advice. Basically, this is about my behaviour and the symptoms I've been experiencing. I've always had a depressive, and introverted personality. I'm also imaginative, and I've never had that many friends. My behaviour or personality, like my preference to be alone has never caused me significant issues and I’ve never felt that it was a problem until I developed mental health issues during my teenage years. I tend to spend a lot of time in my head, fantasizing about my own stories and other things and I would also say that I'm a bit of a messed up person, because my imagination tends to get quite dark, as I like to write about dark and profound fictional stories about the human experience and all that. People have stated that I'm weird, eccentric, and that I say weird things. The friends I had as a child also stated that I was weird. For a long time I just assumed that I’m a creative person, and I didn’t care about my introversion or what people thought about me. However, later on my mental health issues made me reconsider whether or not there is something wrong with me because I suspect that my melancholic personality and tendency to fantasize al the time is one of the causes of my mental health issues. I have difficulty making friends. In terms of communication I just can't seem interesting enough to people or become close friends with them. It’s like the things I talk about usually seem boring, or even slightly inane to other people, judging by how they respond to me. Usually when I talk to people, the other person just laughs, nods, or comments a bit, and then it just turns into silence. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything deeper going on between us. I just think to myself, am i really that difficult to talk to, am I really that boring? When talking to people, I find it a bit draining to come up with something to say and I always want to ensure that I don’t sound too weird. But I won’t consider myself extremely hopeless in socializing. The thing is that I can make friends, and sometimes our conversations actually can get quite interesting for both sides, but after talking for a while this mutual interest kind of just dies out and I feel like there’s a distance between us again. Eventually, I start feeling drained and awkward and then I start saying things that don’t sound as interesting anymore, and I also have to consider if what I’m going to say is weird, which adds to the discomfort and awkwardness. Also, the mutual interest development is something that recently occurred because I’ve been putting a lot of pressure and effort into myself in order to develop friendships that would involve active communication and offers to spend time together. Not many people have offered to invite me out. As a child, I would just say whatever I want to say and it would be socially appropriate, but I wasn’t able to get close with people. I just had people to talk to and I didn’t mind the fact that I like to spend time with myself more. Now, it’s still kind of the same, I still have some social difficulties, but i’m more strict on the way I appear to other people and I’ve put a ton of effort into developing my social skills because of the fact that I found out that I might be predisposed to certain mental illnesses and I want to prevent myself from developing that. Right now, even those friends that I have started talking to and developing what I feel like is a closer relationship with, seem closer to one another than to me. I feel like they’re pretty close friends to me, especially with this girl, but I don’t know if she or them think the same thing about me. They talk to one another in a really relaxed way, while to me, they seem less relaxed and almost forced. Other people that I talk to don’t really seem like that, so I assume it could just be her personality, but I still feel that I’m distant to the people I talk to and in general I do feel like I have difficulty making close friends. When I was a kid, the friends that I had back then also seem closer to each other than to me. I’ve wondered for a long time if it was just the way I think that’s different than these people, or my innate personality being deficient in this field. I probably look relatively normal, and not weird, when people first get to know me. Then it’s just that I can’t seem to get close to people and that the things I say don’t seem to spark the other person’s interest for too long. I also don’t want to appear too weird. I also grew up with an autistic brother who's really low-functioning, but for a long time I've never felt that growing up in this environment was distressful or anything. It wasn't until when I suddenly developed mood and anxiety issues later on that I began to think carefully about my past and its effect on my behaviour and mental state. I’m not sure if it’s just my innate personality, or if whatever kind of stress I experienced at a young age eventually gave me depression or something, which eventually became my personality. Either way, nothing really bothered me until I suddenly developed mental health issues. Everything just seems really subtle; I feel as if everything is alright, I’m just a normal creative girl. I might have had unhealthy traits as a child, such as the depressive temperament, and pessimism, but that was my younger self and I can always change as I grow older. That was my thought process. I might not have been extroverted or good at sociializing, and I might’ve identified with some of the questions for a schizophrenia predisposition test (i’ll expand below), but that doesn’t necessarily mean theres anything wrong with me. But then mental health issues hit me hard and now I’m still struggling, so I don’t believe that its just a personality due to the amount of misery I’m going through and how different I am from my peers. They all have enough social skills to get by in this world, and don't have such a dark personality with such dark thoughts at an age as young as 11, and they seem to be able to overcome the difficulties they have in life. . When I was 12 years old, I read about schizophrenia because I was interested in psychology and thought about pursuing a career in it in the future. I did a predisposition test on it for fun back then, and some of the questions seemed eerily like me, and it had me seriously worried about myself. I didn't finish the test because I was alarmed by how some of the questions applied to me, like lack of friends, or interest in making friends, spending a lot of time in my head, not making sense when communicating, and being a fearful person. Sometimes people say that I don't make sense when I talk, usually when I'm cracking jokes. My writing also doesn’t make sense to certain people, but this could probably be because I think a lot and I like complex subjects. I also read that people who are predisposed or prone to developing psychotic disorders tend to be fearful individuals from a young age who have difficulties making friends, spend alot of time in their head, and show signs of depression at a young age. I had a depressive temperament, not depression in the mental illness sense, as a child. I had suicidal thoughts when I was 11 years old, but never acted on them or anything. It was just part of my dark thinking, and I also had some other disconcerting behaviours as a child as well. I felt that I’ve had these behavioural problems that I’ve written about since I was like 6, but they were very insignificant back then, so they never seemed to be an issue. My issues just started multiplying as I grew older. I was worried that I was prone to developing the disorder. it’s a spectrum, so I was worried that it’s possible that I might develop a milder type, since it’s less possible to get the more severe type. My parents also say that I was a pretty fearful kid who has always been mildy anxious , and now I have an anxiety disorder. I’m thinking about irrational things and fearing them. I heard anxiety can do this to you if it’s really bad and I hope that despite everything I’ve written about myself here, I might jus have anxiety and that I’m not in the prodromal stage of something. I had found that i identified with some of the traits of schizotypal personality disorder to varying degrees. It made me feel like I am just so messed up. Had I been an emotionally healthier person and still found that I identified with some of the traits, I wouldn’t have paid that much attention to it. But since I have so many issues, I wondered about the possibility. I got over this fear eventually and told myself that it was just a test, although developed by some kind of mental health institution, may not be an accurate measurement at all, and I'm just scaring myself for nothing. Then I vowed to work on the parts of my personality that made me fear that I am predisposed to it. I was able to live without any mental health concerns, and I truly felt that I was silly to pathologies myself like that. The first anxiety issue that I had experienced was when I was 15 years old and it was short. It got triggered when someone told me about sleep paralysis, about the hallucinations and the fear, and it invoked a visceral fear within me. I think that I was reminded of schizophrenia and of how fragile my own mind was, since I was easily scared by that test when everyone I talked to, like my parents and my friends didn't buy into things like that so easily. My fragility and how easily I get scared made me afraid that I might get something as terrifying as that. Eventually I snapped out of it and After this, I continued to work on some parts of my behaviour to reduce my likelihood of getting another episode of anxiety. The reason why I have anxiety and depression right now is because of something very disconcerting that I had experienced 2 years ago. I've been experiencing mental health issues for two years now as a result of this even though I've tried reasoning with myself; the intense emotions didn't leave, even though I've changed my thought process, and also my mental state has completely changed. Basically what happened was that I was listening to a song I had recently found and began to really like. It ignited my creativity greatly and I just felt really great listening to it. But then one night a fragment of the song just got stuck in my head on repeat for the whole night. I couldn't dislodge it, or lessen the intensity. I tried singing it to the end, cocentrating on my breath and doing mindfulness breathing , and replacing it with another song, but it didn't help at all and the new song started getting a little stuck in my head as well. Eventually it got worser and I couldn't sleep for the whole night. There was no clear trigger to this. The day before this happened, I had felt relatively normal, just slightly more happier because of the song, and it also happened on the night before summer school started, but I didn’t feel extremely worried about it or anything. There was no cause for worry or stress, so stress and anxiety, one of the causes of stuck songs (earworms) that I had found online, didn’t apply to me. It occurred from within me, with no obvious trigger. The only answer I can come up for this is that I must have unwittingly lost control of my excited, or happy mood and I must have unconsciously felt anxious about summer school. These moods combined together, it caused this to happen. Now, every song I hear would get stuck in my head and occasionally my brain would repeat fragments of what people say. I don’t mind it now that I kind of got used to it, but I wasn’t like this in the past, and these things just pop into my brain without my control. I know that stuck songs are common and that everyone gets them, and what I found online all state that having this is normal. But none of it stated anything about having it for the whole night, interfering with sleep and causing great distress. Eventually, I dug deeper and what I found was that people who experience severe song looping episodes already suffer from mental illnesses like OCD, or bipolar disorder. I was reluctant to pay any attention to bipolar disorder, but for OCD, I can see how my neurotic brain might be prone to obsessive thoughts since I already have anxiety. But then I read that creative people have a higher chance of suffering from bipolar disorder, and seeing how I already have moderate to severe anxiety and depression, I might be prone to mood disorders as well, since anxiety disorders are often comorbid with mood disorders. Some of my friends have also told me that my mood is either really high or really low, with no in betweens. This might be that I'm just an energetic person, since I've been pretty energetic as a kid, but considering the fact that I’m hypersensitive and moody as a child and I’ve also developed mental issues, I don’t know what to think. When I watch a movie or see something that excites me, I get shivers down my spine and my creative side gets stimulated too and my mood becomes high and it takes a while to come back down. This didn't happen that much when I was younger (my creativity would get stimulated, but my mood never took a while to return to normal) This only started happening recently, prior to this anxiety episode and also during it. If mood was the trigger for this stuck song, then I wouldn’t have had any control over it, since on the surface I felt that everything was fine, and then my brain decided to go crazy at night. So since the severe song looping episode occurred after a period in which I felt really happy, as I was listening to the song, I am worried that I might be prone to mood disorders, or if I'm already in an early stage of one. I feel that the frustration that this song looping caused me is abnormal; it is a stuck thought that had gone completely out of control and the anxiety it caused me was also completely out of control and abnormal. If it isn't just a possible mood disorder, then I probably have some symptoms of OCD too, since this episode really interfered with my life. During the early periods of my anxiety episode, I also found out that apparently nothing can prevent the onset of mental illnesses like psychotic disorders, or mood disorders, so apparently nothing I did in the past would be able to avoid the development of these mental disorders. This made me feel extremely hopeless. I also found a bunch of other stuff that completely changed my view of mental illness as a whole, such as how every mental illness share similar symptoms, so it’s hard to tell if someone has one mental disorder or if they possibly have another more serious one as well. Apparently, OCD is related to Bipolar as well. My therapist didn’t really help. I don’t feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with her. She shut me down when I was trying to talk to her about some heavy topics, and she wants to cancel my session because she assumes that I’m doing better when in fact I’m not. (our next session is our last one) I’m still conflicted, and it seems it will be a while before I recover from the chaos in my mind. It really just seems like all the anxiety is right; I would worry about having a mental illness, then dismiss it a being incorrect thinking. But then later on down the road, I developed an anxiety disorder. Then I would just say that there’s no point in paying attention to anxiety and that it doesn’t mean that I’ll develop anxiety again after I overcome one episode. Then 2 months later, a mentally distressing event with no clear caused occurred out of the blue and that intense feeling of anxiety came back full force I worked so hard at changing my behaviour, but then I’ll fall back ten steps. It’s challenging to live doubting my sanity, but I’m determined to overcome by mental health issues by any means possible. If anyone has been through something similar to what I’m experiencing right now, any advice on how to navigate through these issues are deeply appreciated. In short, my behaviour and recent events in my life ( song-looping ) have led me to question my mental health. According to my personal history, should this stuck song episode warrant any concern, since it is so bizarre ? And according to my personal history, should I be concerned about my mental health, or should I just consider that I have a greater chance of just having anxiety and depression? To anyone who read this, I am deeply grateful for your help. Thank you very much.
  11. Damn, it saddens me to be able to relate to this so much. I went though one of my worst phases of depression in 2015 and nearly took my own life numerous times. During the time, i found out i couldn't have kids, then my ex-girlfriend of a 7 year relationship left me for another man. Soon after, i quit my job. My mother was seriously ill and my father died. I disconnected from the few friends that i had and life had no meaning. For the first suicide attempt, I stood on the edge of a tall cliff face and was sure that it was the moment. I had letters to family and friends wrote out and stuff too. I stood their on the edge, and in that moment i was filled with guilt then vomited, stepped back and fell down into tears. I tried seeking help but couldn't get the strength to tell people how i was feeling and what i was thinking about. Unfortunately, i had a bad experience with my old GP as he gave me a crappy speech about time is a healer and stereotypical bullshit with no action plan. I left alone and like the world did not care for me. The second time (2 weeks later) i sat on the edge of a tunnel waiting for a train to come so i drop down in front of it and end it all. Only, in that moment i gained a strange appreciation for life and the train passed by underneath myself. I eventually got went home and continued with my life. I then went though a phase of adrenaline activities. I'd swim in the Ocean in winter at night and nearly freeze to death and drown. I would stand on the edge of tall buildings and i would step out in front of traffic with no care for my life. Yet the rush would make me want to live, even though my life was so miserable that i wanted nothing more than to die. I tried seeking help from my GP and other mental health services but was just assessed and then given a leaflet of advice. The third time, I eventually done my research and realized that an exit bag (helium and mask) would be a good way to die. Painless and controlled. I purchased all the equipment, set it all up and lay there on my bed with the mask over my face with my hand on the valve. I lay there for hours but i just couldn't do it. Hours passed and i done a lot of thinking in that time before breaking down into tears and telling my mother what i was about to do. We then went to the local hospital at midnight and that's when the real help started. But it annoys me that it had to get to breaking point before real help was provided. Since then, i've been on numerous anti-depressants and finally found one that works for me. I've received therapy to help me become more aware and understand what's going on while having additional treatment and support from other services. It hasn't been easy and still isn't but looking back, I've came a long way. I now have a new girlfriend that loves me very much. Something that i didn't think was possible. While my life has improved overall too. Depression is horrible and makes it seem like life will never improve but things can improve. It's hard to hold on to that hope while the despair pulls you down but things can get better. Know that an exit bag can go wrong. It can result in you becoming severely brain damaged and that - in my opinion - is worse than death. I know your post was from January but i'd love to hear back from you and know how things are. You're not alone.
  12. Hello Alex, It sounds like there's been a lot of suffering going on in your life that is circumstantial. All of these money, gambling, drug, health and relationship problems are effecting you even if it doesn't seem like it on the surface. Also the feeling of not being real is often seen as a coping method. This way reality doesn't seem as bad as it is. Please write a list of your thoughts, feelings and any recent actions that you consider dangerous or out of character. Try not to dwell on all of the negatives too much as this can be upsetting to do, but know that you are doing this as step 1 to helping yourself. Then please make an appointment with your local GP, give them this list and express your concerns. You might need some medication to assist your mood, therapy to find out the underlying problems and help you understand yourself more. While 1 to 1 help on a weekly basis would be ideal too. Simply talking about problems is a difficult thing to do especially for men in modern society. We all need to express our feelings and thoughts to better understand them. The hardest step for myself was to admit there was a problem and then to get the courage to seek help. All the best and please update us if you have any additional concerns.
  13. Hello Bunnygirl18, I can relate to many of the things you have mentioned and sympathise for what you are going through. There's nothing worse than seeking help only to be dissapointed with the service or sent back and forth. Also, I just want to point out that i'm not a healthcare professional but I've been dealing with my own depression and generalized anxiety since 2014. Over this time, I've learnt a lot about myself and mental health in general. Sleeping less can be a symptom of depression. Many people think those suffering with depression only sleep more and while this is often the case, lack of sleep is also common. Especially because anxiety is typically related to depression and this can cause excessive worrying, resulting in lack of sleep. A lack of focus is also a symptom of depression although it's also common with many other things including lifestyle circumstances and personality traits. I can relate to this one as i'm constantly starting new projects only to never finish them. It's frustrating. I'm glad you are feeling confident but beware if it get's out of control or if your mood suddenly changes. High self-confidence can be dangerous too. I'm typically shy and lacking confidence but looking back i went through a phase of having sex with strangers. This is extremely unlike me but the affection from another made me feel valued for a short while. During this time, i also shown my penis to some of my female friends while they were around for drinks. They encouraged it but it isn't like me at all to be that confident or reckless and i regret it to this day. Shopping is one of the biggest problems related to mental health. This is common symptom of depression as we spend money for that little sense of satisfaction that we get from buying things. I too had a spending addiction that got out of control and caused debts. Money management is one of the few things mental health services never seem to ask about or give assistance with. At least you are self-aware that you are doing this but the mindset of not caring about consequences is the main area of concern. Talking to yourself is a coping method. Your brain is trying to problem solve while expressing emotion. This is why most kids often talk to themselves as it is a form of self-therapy and development. Don't be too worried about it and try to encourage deeper thinking during this time. From what you have described it sounds like you have depression and anxiety. From what you mentioned about mania this could be a sign of Bipolar but it might not be. There are many forms of Bipolar and just like depression, it's different for each person. Also please try not to panic because of the stigma related with Bipolar. If it turns out this is this case, then it's better to know than to struggle in the dark. I would recommend trying to talk about all of these thoughts and feelings with your GP again. It might help if you can take some time bullet point some of these thoughts and feelings to address what you are experiencing. Please also try to be truthful and open. I know from personal experience it can be hard to talk about things especially voices, bad thoughts and suicide but unfortunately you need to often stress the urgency and severity of the situation to get the required help. I would also recommend any other Therapy groups that may be available to you in your area. Specifically to look at CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to try to understand why you are feeling and thinking these ways and how to help you understand and adjust to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Finally, if you have those bad days that you mentioned of feeling like you want to die. Contact your GP, your local hospital or give Samaritans a call. You can also email them. I sincerely hope things improve and please add to this thread if you have anything further to talk about.
  14. Hey Wilcombebolger, Thank you so much for your reply! I've been to other forums before this one but received quite negative feedback from the users there I have such a hard time explaining my problems as I've constantly felt judged by whoever I try to tell them to, so maybe I make it hard for them to understand? I don't know, honestly Your reply to my post was very welcoming, and I hope there's more people here like you! Thank you for sharing your experience! it really is comforting to know I'm not alone, though really sad to hear so many people suffer and really hope that I'll be able to support others here too And yeah, it feels awful being labelled for mental health issues, but knowing finally what's wrong with me has cured my obsession of finding answers and trying to self-diagnose, which I was doing for almost 3 years! I do hope I'll be able to support others here, I'm just not good at all with giving advice Again thank you for your kind and welcoming reply wilcombebolger, it really meant alot to me
  15. Hi there HayLouise, Ive been diagnosed with BPD (now emotionally unstable borderline personality) since 2012 and I have been a member here since September 2013, I have found this forum to be very supportive and non judgemental, which has helped me personally no end to feeling comfortable to post here when I ever feel I need to, whether its "the whole world feels against me" or I am having just a "shit day". I hope you feel as comfortable as I do in the long term as I have found in my experience, the stigma towards mental health still affects many, giving us sufferers a "raw deal" when it comes to being seen and treated fairly. Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving! Albert Einstein
  16. Hi all. Interested to have found this forum and really want it to be useful. I have recently been diagnosed with BPD after more than 15 years of being treated for depression and anxiety. I had a nervous breakdown some 10 years ago and have tried a variety of meds including lithium. I have also had ECT. I am currently trying to provide some longer term focus for my life but am struggling. I am an honest and open person who hopes to share the difficulties and benefits of people with similar challenges. Best regards Paul
  17. I've been diagnosed with 2 personality disorders(Avoidant and Dependant) along with traits of Borderline Personality. I have a boyfriend who doesn't believe in mental illness and mocks and laughs at my problems. My family try to understand, I know, but they're not really supportive and it's causing me so much upset I'm starting psychotherapy now that I've got a diagnosis, but my psychiatrist told me that joining an online support forum would be good for me too since I don't have any at home. So I found this one. I'm left turning to the internet for extra support, as I'd prefer it more than a face to face support groups due to my avoidant problems I haven't been officially diagnosed with BPD (only APD and DPD) but have been told I have some of the traits of it. The uncontrollable moods that are up and down like a yoyo, anger outbursts which lead to screaming, smashing things, and hurting myself, extreme paranoia and jealousy, depersonalization, A great fear of abandonment (though my psychiatrist told me that this is part of my dependant personality and experienced more differently than that of borderline personality) I just don't know anymore I haven't been able to settle down since I got the diagnoses and I have nowhere to turn to at all
  18. I've been sleeping less, creating projects to never finish them, I've had so many ideas and I'm the most confident person I know at the moment I feel so attractive and it's great. I decided shopping was a great idea and I've spent so much money but right now I don't care. So what? I know it's coming, this happens and I know it's going to run out at some point and I'm going to wake up and all of this will feel like I was drunk. But so what? I like it. I've realised that this feels better than the person that wishes she never woke up. I can't even tell anyone because what do I say? I'm being treated for depression and anxiety but now I can't stop talking I'm even talking to myself. I can go without eating but I still eat because I love the taste everything tastes great but I'm not hungry and I have nothing to do because of my social anxiety but the shop is only five minutes away and I will spent twenty pound there because I love spending money even if it is only on chocolate and sweets and I will come home and share. In the space of five short days I have planned a future. I have had the best days in such a long time. I left the house, saw some family, went out with my boyfriend for food and shopping and yeah I might have been a bit excited but I could wake up tomorrow and want to die. My gp referred me to mind mental health service I had my telephone assessment today and after forty minutes on the phone the woman told me they couldn't help. As soon as I told her I've noticed I've had symptoms of mania She said she will have to consult her supervisor because they only provide therapy not diagnosis (I get that) but she thinks I'm not fit for their services because she doesn't think I have just got depression. What happens now? I'm back in square one. Just feel upset because I'm getting sent back and forth .
  19. Earlier
  20. Hey Bee, Welcome to The mental health forums. I'm so sorry to learn that you have been struggling with BPD since the age of 11.I can imagine that this is really hard for you at times, It's very clear to me that you are a strong person for managing to live with BPD. Well done for coming to the forums for support, I hope you manage to get the support you deserve here. Harry
  21. Hey everyone I just thought I would come and say hi and introduce myself. My name is Harry and I'm from the UK. So for the last 5 years of my life I have struggled with issues like, low mood, Self-Harm, Suicide and Anxiety. Sadly my mental health has deteriorated, but I'm trying to hang in here and get through it. 3 facts about me: 1. I'm addicted to tea! 2. I can't go a day without listening to music. 3. I love cats! If your up to it, tell me 1 fact about yourself. It's nice to meet you all and I hope to see you around the forums.
  22. Most personality disorders can be managed. I have bpd and for 30 years didn't know that I had it all my choices I made I was certain was the right way. I got to 48 and had a breakdown when I recovered I see things differently. I realised that my illness had triggers situations made me act and think in a certain way. Because of that I can't have any relationships it makes me weak it makes me depressed and it makes me not in control and nowadays I'd get done for harassment. Also my behaviour pushes people away it also made me do things out of need to be loved ergo I was used and put up with things that wasn't acceptable. I also realised that I'd put my needs to be loved before my kids who have now got old and see what I done and don't like me for the choices that affected their lives. It's hard but until you see it yourself you can't see it no matter what people tell you. But you can recover and become stable if you remove the things that make you ill that make you depressed. I'm sorry for waffling
  23. I notice there aren't many people here is there a Facebook group as that would be so much easier to use. I'd like to know if anyone has a drug habit that they use to make them make sense of things that enables them to look back clearly and see what went wrong with the choices they made. I can't seem to post elsewhere so I have posted here instead hope that's okay. I was here years ago and used to be a mod but I kinda let it slide when I recovered from my breakdown
  24. Oriane0806

    Would love to talk to people who want to change their lives for the better. We could help each other


  25. Hey my name is Oriane, 17 and this is my first time ever writing in a forum so be nice please
  26. Dice

    Finally after over a year I have my own brand new bed and bedroom, So no more sleeping in a chair/sofa or my mums bed when she's at work and my own private safe zone is back...

  27. I wish I knew the answer to that, what part feels makes you feel stuck, for me it was wanting a loving relationship with my mother.
  28. Yes taking medication my diabetes now at the moment.on antidepressants and Dr changed to different meds and the need to eat chocolate is not so strong at the moment.Thanks for the reply.
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