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  3. I don't like the way the cpn behaved in my recent assessment. He was patronising. He seemed amused by me. He made a lot of assumptions for no reason like that my mum gave me emotional support and didn't seem to believe me when I said she didn't. I would never have said anything to suggest that. I told him something that had happened to me and he said he didn't believe it had happened. He didn't seem to think the threatening behaviour I've been on the receiving end of was a problem. When I became upset he told me he hadn't done anything to upset me. I don't believe it was intentional but by distancing himself from it it made me feel like it was my fault and I should kill myself immediately. I told him I wanted to kill myself but he said he didn't think I needed mental health support. I explained why I wasn't happy with my medication due to the very heavy levels of sedation, I can easily sleep for 12 hours. But he didn't see that as a problem if it helped my mental health, he just said use an alarm clock but that wasn't my point. I don't think it's healthy to be that heavily sedated every night and I feel more refreshed on 4 hours sleep without medication than any number of hours with medication. I also believe the fatigue I feel throughout every day contributes to my depression by making it harder to find the energy to do anything or concentrate on anything. I think it's very important for me to discuss other options with a psychiatrist, it could be we'll decide to stick with the heavy sedation but I think it's reasonable for me to concerned and I believe it's my right to discuss other options. The cpn thinks I should continue taking it because "it works" which I'm not sure about anyway. I will discuss the matter with my GP but I would rather speak to a psychiatrist. He said someone would be in touch in a few days, it's been several weeks. He also kept receiving phone calls throughout our meeting, I don't think his phone should have been on. He gave me a questionnaire to fill in about our meeting but he gave me the one for carers instead of the one for clients. Anyone can make a mistake but he made so many mistakes it doesn't seem so much human error as another sign he wasn't really that bothered.
  4. Last week
  5. Hi there, It's common for voices to take the shape of a character - they may be of people you know, or personalities. It's your mind's way of making sense of them. I'd like to point out that self-harm doesn't help your situation here, since it doesn't actually resolve the issues while creating new ones (such as visual scars). I'd implore you to refrain from doing so if possible - I know it's not easy to do, but it's for the best in the long run. Mental health can be a bother, put us under pressure and place strain on relationships. However, one can win the fight if they persevere and have the drive to succeed - one step at a time is the way to recovery Much love <3
  6. hi

    Hi there! That's okay - we're all here to listen to one another. You can say as much as you feel comfortable with Much love <3
  7. Hi, Sorry to hear about what you've gone through. I think it's likely that these sexual abuse cases have impacted your mental stability and relationship interaction, as is often the case. Are you currently receiving any professional help (medication, CBT, counselling etc)? Much love <3
  8. hi

    I wanted to post here.I can't. I don't feel comfortable. But I wanted to say hello, it's great to see so many posts from old friends as well as the new people who are helping to keep the site active.
  9. Hi, I know this post is old and I don't know much about them but I googled it once and found quite a few, they had contact details so maybe if you find one you like the look of and call/email them you might find the answers to some of your questions? The ones I found were self referred.
  10. I have BPD and I'm out of control ( well I feel like it! ) recently though I've been getting these voices in my head but they sound like my voice however two of them have like characters? Meh I don't know. My suicidal thoughts are out of control as are my moods. The voices were so strong the other night that I tried to drown myself in the bath. My partner will now not let me take a bath alone. I'm self harming pretty frequently though he's taken everything away! I even considered snapping a spork so it was sharp earlier this week. How crazy is that!! My arm is a complete state- superficial don't worry. But I have a family thing tomorrow and I think I will have to wear a cardigan in this heat. Such a fuck up.
  11. I dont wanna be here any more i cant cope with life Im 32 f i was touched up by my dad wen i was 10 i was sexualy assulted at 24 ive lost both my kids to social workers in 2016 and so far all my partners have been abusive towards me i have bpd anxiety and depression..my new partner dosent understand me i dont understand me at all.. help me plz
  12. Hi C0ncernedFriend, I want to start by saying thank you - many people who suffer from mental health issues don't feel like they have someone looking out for them. It's good to know that there are people like you helping M out! <3 I would advise getting him to go to the GP and getting an assessment. The GP will give him medication and a referral to psychiatric professionals who can diagnose him and give him professional cognitive and psychological help with depression and alcoholism. Tell M that it hurts you to see him like this, and you want him to feel better like you used to? The alcohol will also need to stop as well - he's merely escaping from the pain of reality, rather than sort out his feelings or issues. For his loneliness, perhaps he could join a support group in the local area, or get involved in a group activity like volunteering? You may also want to contact Mind (Mental Health Organisation) for further advice. Much love <3
  13. Hi loverofcreation, Firstly, it would be nice to be respectful of others. Understand that this is not a very active forum any more, so there aren't many people around as it is. Even still, bumping threads after a couple of hours and blaming people for not going out of their way to help you is very rude, frankly. It wouldn't hurt to have some courtesy - just as you are experiencing issues, most people on this forum are as well, so rather than complain about no one is helping you in particular, perhaps acknowledge that others may need help or may be busy. And if posting here isn't helping at all, then the problem isn't the forum, it's you. You are the one who chose to post here, and no one forced you to post. If it makes it worse, then why post here? Do what you need to recover in helpful ways! Right, onto your post. Clearly, you've been brought up to stay away from nerds (for what reason, I'm not sure). Don't confuse the term "nerd", which is a high school term, with "intelligent people", who work every day to try and improve the world through advancements in cancer treatment, process automation and space exploration, to name a few. You're not in high school any more, so stop acting like a high school kid. The reason that these people ("nerds") are so popular is because they create amazing things - without these people, you wouldn't have your medication, or this forum to speak on, or even a mobile phone. The fact that you find them attractive but then despise them is a classic sign of your upbringing. You were told that you couldn't have something, so you developed a hatred for this something, while also becoming more curious about what this something was. It's the element of human nature that says "we want what we're told we can't have". These people aren't going to force you to do anything. You are lucky enough to live in a country where you can make your own choices in life - unless an entire law changes, you don't have to do anything. The idea that they will force you to buy a "smart home" or whatever is illogical and makes no sense. Much love <3
  14. If your referringto members as " you people ignoring isn't helping my problems " Then why keep posting and not evening bothering to answer someone when they have took time to answer your post... Plus just because no one has answered you on this post is not our problem, It's yours... Nor is it the reason people go out and kill because they are " ignored " FACT... Only you is making it worse, Take responsibility!!!...
  15. When I was young, my mother told me to stay away from nerds and that nerds aren't normal so stop hanging with ''stupid nerds''. as I got older I grew to hate nerds since I discovered that I enjoyed bullying them emotionally and fantasize about doing it physically (wont go into detail) i tried to befriend a nerd named Joe and he was a really nice guy but i felt embarrassed seeing him like i was naughty for hanging around nerds like Joe. i seem to get angry at nerds being popular, for example even if it's a cartoon nerd that a lot of people like, that'll annoy me and anger me. It also very much angers me when nerds are making my day to day life be much more scary than it already is for example drones, nuclear bombs, computerized cars that can runaway due to a computer glitch, IOT, among other things and nerds are the ones who push these things i don't view nerds as good. maybe nerds were good in the early 1900s when they were contributing medicines but now? I think nerds are bad.. I was getting so stressed out with my hatred and also I'm in my house I'm now allowed to show emotions if I do I get degraded and I've had enough passive aggression today as it is even when i see my doctor whose a nerd (and by nerd i mean he looks the part too) i feel uncomfortable and just seeing one walking down the street makes me feel ''grossed out''? and just uncomfortable. I'll have fantasies where a bunch of nerds will be really small and I'd torture them to death. Like insects. I mean I do find nerds cute, but then my mind goes back to just despising them and wanting to really hurt them. Are these nerds going to force me to buy a ''smart home'' and computerized car so I have no freedom of being in charge of anything and risk dying because of it? Will nerds imprison us for not complying to their new world order? This shit is why I have to take Prozac and multiple sedatives a day just to keep me from going on a rampage. I do not understand why nerds (of today) are suddenly so popular and beloved. For the past 2 days I've felt so angry that I literally feel like if I went to the store and saw a nerd on my way I'd kill him. You people ignoring me isn't helping my problem it's making it worse and is the reason why so many people go out and kill because other people are insensitive and don't consider other people's problems!!!! I already have BPD and depression and this isn't helping at all
  16. Earlier
  17. bump...................
  18. I've taken a benzo to get me relaxed/pass out so my spelling me be a little funny cause its kicking hin. anyway when i was young my mother told me to stay away from nerds and that nerds aren't normal so stop hanging with stupid nerds. as I got older I grew to hate nerds since I discovered that I enjoyed bullying them emotionally and fantasize about doing it physically (wont goi nto detail) i tried to befriend a nerd named Joe and he was a really ncie guy but i felt embarassed seeing him like i was naughty for hanging around nerds like Joe. i seem to get angry at nerds being popular, for example even if it's a cartoon nerd that a lot of peoplel ike, that'll annoy me and anger me. It also very much angers me when nerds are making my day to day life be much more scary than it already is for example drones, nuclear bombs, computerized cars that can runaway due to a computer glitch, IOT, among other things and nerds are the ones who push these things i don't view nerds as good. maybe nerds were good in the early 1900s when they were contributing medicines but now? I think nerds are bad.. I was getting so stressed out with my hatred and also I'm in my house I'm now allowed to show emotions if I do I get degraded and I've had enough passive aggression today as it iseven when i see my doctor whose a nerd (and by nerd i mean he looks the part too) i feel uncomfortable and just seeing one walking down the street makes me feel ''grossed out''? and just uncomfortable. I mean I do find nerds cute, but then my mind goes back to just despising them and wanting to really hurt them. I'll have fantasies where a bunch of nerds will be really small and I'd torture them to death. Like insects. I mean I do find nerds cute, but then my mind goes back to just despising them and wanting to really hurt them. Are these nerds going to force me to buy a ''smart home'' and computerized car so I have no freedom of being in charge of anything and risk dying because of it? Will nerds imprison us for not complying to their new world order? This shit is why I have to take Prozac and multiple sedatives a day just to keep me from going on a rampage.
  19. I have known this guy (which I'll refer to from here as M) for many years now, and as long as I've known him he's been severely depressed. I don't know whether this is normal, but with him it seems to come in waves, he'll disappear for a long while and then reappear when he's feeling up to it. It was after I introduced him to a friend of mine (let's call her F) a number of years ago that we started drifting apart. M really got on well with F and she with him, connecting over their encyclopedic knowledge's of all things nerdy. A problem is that he fell for her, and she didn't feel the same way (she was already in a relationship). After they'd each made their feelings clear, they resumed their friendship - but apparently he always held a candle for her. A couple of years later he got drunk (I'm fairly sure he's an alcoholic) and confessed his feelings to her again. This drove her away for a time, and he disappeared once again. We've recently all reconnected, but I know he's in a bad way because F tells me he's just recently sent her some really worrying texts saying how lonely he is. I'm feeling a bit clueless, I have no idea what I could do to help him. I don't feel like we're really that close anymore, and he's hopelessly inactive - the only way to get him out of his house is drink. I'm not sure that going out for a drink with them both is a great idea given his probable alcoholism, and I don't know if his being around F (who he gets along with a lot better with than me these days) is a good idea either... I'm worried he might do something stupid. Any advice would be welcome.
  20. Hi loverofcreation, It's possible that both of these are just suicides. The first one could be self inflicted, and the second one could have just been a bomb. Personally, I don't think there's any magic involved here. Much love <3
  21. bump....anyone?
  22. Seriously I'm anxious curse my morbid curiosityHere we have a story of a man killed by a magical skintaker and a man who exploded http://i67.tinypic.com/28hd6df.png Just in case people don't know, some people have magic powers so when they die this magic revives them and turns them into an evil mostly invisible monster, they're called skintakers because there are reports of them shapeshifting into their dead human form or forms of other people. My mother used to plague me with stories of them all throughout my childhood.
  23. Hi Cagney, While more people are becoming tolerant of mental health issues, there are still several that are not so accepting of it. Most people with mental health issues have lost friends because of the stigma attached to it, but don't let that stop you from sharing your experience. The only way for us to reduce this stigma is to talk about it openly - cutting off communication means that intolerant people stay ignorant of the information available. I know it's hard when people you care about won't accept the reality of what you experience, but we have to get up back on our feet and keep going, with or without them. That way, you know the people who accept you for who you are will stay by your side, while those who get left behind let a sensitive issue get in the way of your friendship. It's not your fault that this happens by any means, and don't feel like you have to tell anyone - whoever you feel comfortable sharing it with! Much love <3
  24. Thanks RSxo, it is difficult and leads to many arguments which you can imagine I handle gracefully... not. I feel like I'm always telling the wrong people about my issue and they just don't know how to respond. Some friends have literally backed away entirely which I'm really struggling with too. It's very invalidating and I wish I'd never told anyone in the first place sometimes. thanks Cagney x
  25. Probably. Because the subject is a somewhat grey area, it's possible to have two types of anxiety, for example. I would assume that this is the case for personality disorders as well.
  26. We all need each other to keep fighting. It's a hard battle as it is, so we need to fall back on an ally from time to time. Alone, we are weak, but together, we are mighty.
  27. Hi danielcroos, I reckon it's probably when you flip between the two from time to time. One day, you may be really emotional; the next, you feel nothing about the same thing. Much love <3
  28. Hi Cagney, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to live with someone who denies that you're struggling with something very real. Hopefully, he is atleast reserved about this, and is able to support you emotionally. Much love <3
  29. Have been diagnosed Borderline, but Antisocial is more like me, is it possible to be both ?
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