Please, please dispose of the helium safely.
I'm not religious but nobody knows what happens after death, and if reincarnation exists, committing suicide may result in you having a worse life.
I struggle with respect too, we have to respect ourselves before anyone else can respect us, and if people see that we don't respect ourselves, then they cannot feel any respect for us either.
I hope you don't get let go from my job as a software tester.
Sorry to hear things went wrong after your uni.
There is nothing wrong with you, you may just have difficulties, especially if your Dad hit you and your mum had no social skills. Don't blame them, though, because, that is the mistake that I made when I realised parental abuse was behind my difficulties.
The important thing to remember is that abusive parents had difficulties in life themselves, which is why they were unable to love their children properly. Lots of people have kids and find that they are unable to parent properly.
Have you been to the doctors or spoken to your local MIND or mental health charity, sometimes, talking things through can really help.
You might not be shy but it seems you have no confidence in yourself.
You are not a creep, you are very young, but how you feel about yourself radiates outwards and people treat you accordingly, so if you hate yourself, people will sense this and find it hard to respect you, but if you love yourself, people will treat you the same.
I hope this helps. I'm not in too good a place at the moment, which is why I have been unable to help anyone on these boards for a while.