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Showing content with the highest reputation since 07/05/2009 in all areas

  1. 20 points
    piuma

    Checking In! (How Do You Feel Today)

    hello i just thought this might be a good idea. when i was in group therapy we all started off by checking in. sometimes on here, i dont wanna post a topic, just wanna state how im feeling today, now i know you can do that on your profile, but we dont have time to sit looking through everybody's profile to see what their status says. i thought maybe we could post on here just a sort of check in, how we are feeling today, or anyday, doesnt have top be everyday if you dont want. but somewhere you can just come and say what eva!!! i'll go first. today i feel, ok, frustrated at my lack of motivation, but ok, how is everyone else??
  2. 16 points
    Data

    Wish Me Luck

    I have a job interview on Friday. Its for a research fellow position in a university. So on Thursday I leave work - I'm hoping to get away by 3.30pm as we have flexi-time. Then its a 205 mile journey to my hotel. I am staying in a hotel overnight; I have some pasta to take with me for an evening meal. I'm planning just to stay in the room and boot up my laptop (wi-fi is free) and munch my pasta and have a quiet evening. I've got a double ensuite all to myself which is good! On Friday its up at 7.30, breakfast, then change in to my suit and head to the university, which is about a mile from the hotel. They say that its a whole day thing - 9 to 5pm!!!! I have to give a 15 minute presentation which I have prepared. I've rehearsed it quite a few times.. I've also polished my shoes and printed off the directions (I have no sat-nav) and printed off the hotel booking accommodation and asked for a parking pass in the university. I've also skim-read four academic papers which were written by the professor who runs the department - he's the person who has been emailling me. And I'm doing a bit more prep reading in the research areas that they are interested in, which I'm scribbling down tonight into my little notebook. I have a couple of bottles of lemonade and some fruit to munch on during the day. They haven't said what the format of the day is, or if they provide lunch. Once I am finished its a 155 mile journey home. If they keep me until 5pm then I reckon I won't be home until about 8pm. And then I'll be popping out for fish and chips and loads of beer lol. I've not seen my family since last weekend, as I work away in the week. Strangely enough the thing that I'm most nervous about right now is the travelling, since I have never been to the town (where the interview is held) before. However, I am sure that tomorrow night I'll be worried sick about the interview.... I am going to try and be confident and positive and smile a lot. If I get the job, then thats great - as the one I have now (although a good job) isn't really what I want to do. If I don't get the job then at least it will be good practice as I've never had an interview for a research job before. Wish me luck! Its exciting but soooo stressful!!!!
  3. 14 points
    Lily-Bee

    To All

    I wanted to take a minute to wish you all happy holidays and the very best for 2013. I know for some of you,you hate the holidays or find them hard.My wish is that for you the holidays will be smooth,non painfull and that youre able to make it into that what suits and pleases you! Youre all without exception wonderfull people even if sometimes thats hidden below the surface I see the good in each of you and believe in you all.In your ability to grow and find happiness. May you also see these things in yourself and may 2013 be your year! Lily
  4. 13 points
    Shelley

    Checking In! (How Do You Feel Today)

    Today Ive felt anxous, low, tired, irritable and generally pissed off with life, just took night meds, had enough of today.
  5. 10 points
    catsmother21

    Cooking And Eating Properly :)

    This is really a big thanks to Crippie because of the post she made about eating a varied diet which we weren't doing at all and it has given me a kick up the arse because I realised that I was worrying so much about doing the housework, washing and ironing etc that I didn't have any energy left for cooking and eating and enjoying doing that. This is what we have had for the last 3 days (can't remember the last time that I cooked properly 3 days in a row!!) Saturday - homemade Spag Bol (made with Quorn) with butter, black pepper and parsley tossed through the spaghetti and garlic bread. Sunday - Linda McCartney sausages, mash, baby carrots, baby sweetcorn, green beans, asparagus and red onion gravy. Monday - homemade sauteed mushroom and caramalised onion quiche with new potatoes and salad. I have also been eating a sandwich for lunch and fruit every day and do feel like I've got more energy Just need to start eating breakfast again - coffee and cigs at the moment - that's still a work-in-progress. But I think I'm doing quite well and I am enjoying the buying of the ingredients, the measuring, chopping and weighing and then cooking it and enjoying eating it - my passion for it is returning and have been going through my recipe books and magazines again I'm going to the hairdressers tomorrow so I'm just going to do something easy like a big bowl of pasta, garlic bread and a lovely side salad. :masked:
  6. 9 points
    Lily-Bee

    Im Going To Paris!

    Hi, On Monday Im going to Paris for 5 days on the same day hubby and mum in law and sis in law will arrive there from London. Wasnt planned that I was going but hubby called me today said my mum in law would pay for ticket for me to come too. I live like a hermit so will be big thing for me but also fun. Josh gave me a kick in the butt and told me to go lol He is right I cant miss out because it makes me a bit nervous. Lily
  7. 9 points
    walker

    What Do You Think About Having Children?

    you know the sad thing - none of you see the good things that you can offer to children, yours, AND/OR other peoples you all have SO much goodness and love in you that is there to be shared - that is clear from how you are here please remember that - alongside your illness and difficulties xxxxxxxx
  8. 9 points
    Joshua

    Changes

    Firstly I wish to start this message off by saying I am dissapointed by the responses i received in relation to the new support system. I went to great personal and financial expense to intergrate this system with all the new functions it brings to the community and i feel that the response was largely negative and unsupportive. I also believe the responses were premature and did not give the changes the time they needed. This has certainly had an impact upon the way i feel about this community and has also impacted upon my motivation to continue to ensure the place thrives. This being said, i have had some more time recently and therefore changed a number of things around here. I have brought back the status updates for the forums. These can only be used by sponsors, also should anyone misuse the system (as it was misused before) they will no longer have access to this feature. Status updates will also show in posts. Your see this for yourself…. I have brought back the forum blogs, as always they will only be accessed by sponsors. I have increased security so that trolls and spammers should be less frequent. Pm's on the forum can again be used by sponsors. The support system will remain and will continue to be developed in the future.
  9. 8 points
    Apollo 13

    Checking In! (How Do You Feel Today)

    That's my Girl.........tell it like it is.....not your fault if it offends or doesn't sit well with others......you are just being YOU........................Liberating....isn't it??!!
  10. 8 points
    jenny1471

    Expressing Thats All Feed Back Welcome Please

    Hi, I am in two minds whether or not to respond to this thread, but a part of me would like to say this.. Firstly, I hope that everyone involved in this thread is 'ok' today. Sounds like last night was a very difficult time and I just hope that everyone is safe and still with us today. It's clear that ubix was in a lot of distress last night and needed to express something. I personally think that in writing this thread and expressing emotions through videos is a good thing. Sometimes it's impossible to find the words, to reach out, to get the help we so desperately need. I also see that a few people have responded to the thread offering support or making it known that they are listening. What a lovely forum this place is.. I mean, where would so many of us be without having the support of peers? I for one am very thankful this forum exists. Sometimes what comes with that for some people is what can come with any relationship in every day life.. some people may well get drawn in to things, feel they are not helping, etc. I always try to be mindful that I am just one person.. but that's another beauty of a forum. If I need to sign offline then there may be someone else who is online. Or if I'm not in a good enough place to respond to someone then maybe someone else. The beauty is that we needn't rely on just one or two people to be around, but it's a community.. a whole community of people who all to some extent can relate to eachother. Sure some may be struggling more than others, but it's give and take. But I think it's important (for me anyway) to not feel that someone else's recovery or safety is not my responsibility. Of course I care for many many people here and when I read a post that someone is struggling badly, it touches my heart.. but at the end of the day I cannot make someone keep safe. I can be there, I can 'listen' and I can even suggest things.. but I do not and cannot take it personally if they choose to do something else, e.g. self harm. We are ultimately responsible for ourselves as hard as that is sometimes. So while I see so much compassion which is so lovely to see, I think it's important to remember that we too our important. If we don't look after ourselves and let ourselves get so drawn in to someone else's chaos, then that goes against (in my view) the point of this forum? I'm not having a go at anyone here I'm honestly not, I'm just raising what I think are issues that we should maybe think about. If we feel ourselves getting triggered, we must look after ourselves. Yes that can be hard when we know that someone who we are friends with or care about is struggling too.. but if we don't help ourselves we cannot help others. I'm a little concerned about calling people attention seekers here or doubting their stories. In all honesty I've lied to people in the past (about 8 years ago) online. And yes I needed attention.. but is that a bad thing? I mean, of course my lying was not good and i'm not condoning that at all, but I'm saying that this forum to an extent is about getting attention. Attention is not a bad thing. I hate the title 'attention seeking' because every single human being needs attention to live. At work last year (I work in NHS) we saw a woman on top of a high building.. I heard someone mutter "oh she just wants attention"... well, my thought was that if she wants attention then GIVE IT TO HER! She was on top of a bloody building about to jump (she did jump by the way).. why is wanting or needing attention such a bad thing? Yes there are healthier ways of getting attention than jumping off a building, but not everyone has coping mechanisms or the skills to ask in a more healthy way. So really, if someone's only way of expressing themselves is to scream and shout or self harm or threaten suicide.. or even lie.. then in my personal opinion, they need and are deserving of attention. It's up to us personally whether we give it or not and how much of it we give. It's up to us to keep ourselves safe if we do decide to give a person in need some of our attention. Just to say as well, that people on this forum are from different countries and therefore time zones.. so I note UBix posted about the GP and it's coming up as midnight my time.. but who knows if we are in the same country. Plus there are duty doctors who work 24/7 anyway. What I'm trying to say is that yes this is in the internet and it's wise to keep in mind that we don't truly know anyone or their stories, etc. but I am also thinking it's not helpful to accuse people of lying just because a time doesn't match our thoughts of when a GP would be working. Anyway, these are just my personal thoughts which I hope I have not put across as thoguht I'm having a go at anyone as I truly am not. I genuinely hope that everyone involved in this thread is doing ok today and is safe. I am just thinking outloud and don't really want this thread to turn to attacking others. Hope this reply doesn't offend! Jenny x
  11. 8 points
    Joshua

    New Parents Forum

    Bringing up children can be one of the most difficult and testing times in our lives. This coupled with mental health issues is an extreme pressure, with this in mind im pleased to announce the adition of the parenting forum. I hope its a welcome addition.
  12. 7 points
    walker

    Commending This Forum On Recent Shows Of Unbelievable Strength

    for anyone who isnt mentioned because these threads are so good but no matter how hard we try we always forget someone and that can hurt so this is for you whoever you are ((((people who deserve hugs))))
  13. 7 points
    Joshua

    Keeping You Informed

    Hi all A few changes for you to be aware of – Forum upgrade Haven’t a clue what new features there are, I am sure they are all quite minor and mainly to do with the moderation side of things. If anything important becomes apparent il let you know. New forum I have added a new forum titled “social service concerns”, I have added this as I see that many people have quite negative views and experiences of social services and social workers. As a social worker I find this quite sad and have created this new forum to offer professional advice/guidance to those of you with any questions or concerns. This is still being worked on so bear with me in the coming days. Banner images Some new banner images are being displayed at the top of each page of the forums; these just replace what was previously there. Well that’s all for now although il let you know if anything else comes to mind.
  14. 7 points
    hummm_mabbe

    Troll - Fairy

    Is it even possible to trace dynamic IP addresses? I know my IP address changes every time I log in, at least going to those "what is my IP address" sites always tells me something different. With dynamic IP, do you even need a proxy server? Maybe to be honest we just need to be a bit less tolerant of out of order behaviour here. We tend to put up with appalling antics from people for weeks, and usually everyone knows exactly who is going to end up banned / leaving the site in a month or two the moment they start. You get the whole "Oh s/he just lashing out, s/he's not a troll / cant help it, s/he's ill" bit for a while, and then bang - they're banned. Turned out they were a troll all along. But point that out at the time and people close ranks and start sticking up for them. This site seems to get 'troll blindness' a lot of the time. Personally I think personality disorder or not, if someone is regularly acting in a way designed to wind up, offend or alienate others, in an obvious or slightly covert way, thats a warning. 2 warnings and GOODBYE. Thats how it worked at a social anxiety forum I was on, and there were far less trolls. No excuses - act like a decent human being or go away. I'm not Jesus - if you slap me in the face I am not going to give you my other cheek. I am going to keep far, far away from you or hit you back. I know everyone will say how unfair this is, how people with PD's cant help it and need support - but at the same time we all need a place we can come without someone subtly trying to sow seeds of conflict and manipulate this place into being unpleasant - as we have seen time and time again. Now you mention sock puppets, chances are its always been the same person, and in fact there did seem to be re-occurring themes with some of our most recent unpleasant users. Re-occurring behavioural themes. I dont agree that its hard to spot the difference between honest, reactive anger / retailiation and intentional unpleasantness - you can spot subtleties in behavior. So dont look for IP - look for behaviour patterns and then state right now, we arent putting up with it. Why should we have to make concessions to those few people that cannot treat others with respect "because of their illness" when there are countless members here with the same illness that CAN treat people with respect online? Retaliation is one thing, but when you get one person who is constantly making those "subtle dig" type threads - the ones that are basically shitty but carefully phrased so it seems they were "just saying" or "exercising free speech", then its a pattern. The ones who start a fight and then claim everyone else is being dreadful to them. They are here to wind people up and to get away with it - and unfortunately all too often we let them because they seem to know exactly how to play us all. Sure, sometimes innocent people might get caught by a '2 strikes' rule, but then innocent people ALWAYS get affected by the trolls. It ends up twisting that famous phrase and being "The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many" - It begins to have shades of Stockholm Syndrome when we are prioritising the feelings of the abusers over the users who on the whole behave with honest decency (not the fabricated decency that comes up as a smoke-screen when people are finally figuring out what they're really about.)
  15. 7 points
    Corpsewithpulse

    Annoyed At Notice Board

    I held my tongue for as long as I could. I really did which helped me lose plenty of f-words but there is only so much taking deep breaths can do for. The way you went about this white elephant warranted negative responses. It wasn't as if you legitimately promoted this new system, rather you forced users of an existing community onto this new system by taking their PMs and status updates. This act was very distressing for a lot of members of this community, forcing several to quit. This would explain why you got offended and took the criticisms personally. However, practically everybody on this planet will invest a great deal of time, energy, money and passion into a wide variety of projects throughout their lives(relationships, exercise regimens, career strategies, family planning to name a very small few). Many of these projects will fail but the mature thing to do is take it on the chin, look at why they went wrong and figure out if the project is worth the necessary hassle in the future. The immature thing to do is get upset at innocent others when your project encroaches on their lives. Negative feedback is just as legitimate as constructive criticism. I'm going to use a rudimentary analogy here. Say for example somebody was slapping me in the face. If I was to advise them to perhaps allign their fingers and raise the trajectory a little so that they can achieve a better angle, that would be constructive criticism. If I was to say "Whoa, wtf? That's very annoying, stop doing that." then that would be negative feedback. In most circumstances, if I had an option of the two, I would plumb for the latter. Invalid. Your actions of changing the main forum whilst the new place was infested with glitches was premature. One should've made sure the changes were effective and already an improvement on the status quo instead of making it up as it went along. Why tell us this? What business is this of ours? Is this to elicet a sense of guilt and or sympathy from us so that we as a collective will change our attitudes towards you? If not, then it's about your personal feelings which should be discussed amongst your friends (or put in a 'bad day' thread) and not made as a public announcement to the entire forum. About time. ctd...
  16. 7 points
    Villan

    Getting Fit And Saving Money

    so... i live like 7 mins drive from work, 5 mins from the cricket club and 5 mins from supermarket... i drive too many short distances... petrol keeps going up, and i dont really get much exercise... so... i went and bought me a bicycle eeeks although now regretting it being as i near killed myself on way home i am that unfit !!! not rode a bike in YEARS... and that was also after walking 30 mins to get to bike shop in the first place !!! knackered now, but got 4 days off to work my way up to cycling to work Tuesday morning... although forecast is rain plenty of time to work out how to use the gears also to work out which way to get to work with less hills (lil hills but felt like bloomin mountains tonight lol) still... it's a start... cant give up car completely cos will need it in winter and also to go mums every weekend and will also still need it a lil for away games for cricket and indoor cricket in winter... and they say that exercise and fresh air is good for depression... but... wish me luck ima need it - lmao xx
  17. 7 points
    bibiddi

    Alters Having Accounts

    Can I make a suggestion, that the other accounts include the primary one. e.g. Bibiddi, Bibiddi-Jenny, Bibiddi-Simon.(or whatever the alters names are). Its separate, and one all at the same time, and its easier for everyone to see who it is. I can imagine I will forget that two different screen names are the same person.
  18. 7 points
    Joshua

    Crisis Plan Forum

    I have created a new forum which I feel may be of great use. The description of this forum is as follows - This forum has been set up for those members who would like to share with the forum community, and store for their own benefit, a crisis plan. This plan should be thought up at a time when your relatively stable and have In mind what you find helpful and not so helpful at times where things are tough. The idea is – When you’re feeling low and at crisis you and your friends on the forum can refer to your crisis plan in this forum and see what helps you when you’re down, as this isn’t always easy to think of when life gets hard. You cannot post replies in this forum, its solely for members crisis plans. Also your plan will not show up right away as it must be approved by a moderator. The team will help where we can to ensure the crisis plan is clearly set out and to ensure we maximise its benefit to you and your forum friends should a time of crisis arise.
  19. 6 points
    Lily-Bee

    Sharing Links!

    Had an idea,thought we could share links to helpful mental health stuff. Here are mine; www.medhelp.com Has a moodchart you can use and some other thingies http://www.doasone.com/ For conseous breathing when stressed or anxious for instance.Has different rooms and is guided by a voice. http://download.cnet.com/Virtual-Ambience/3000-2170_4-10658027.html Here you can download a free little program with nature sounds,you can choose different sounds to play;rain,birds,storm etc www.dbtselfhelp.com Dbt sheets,info etc
  20. 6 points
    walker

    'capturing Love'

    this began then we lost where we were - so this is all there is - its sort of about trying to keep love 'held' Turn the camera on - judgement editing - stop - use the acceptance filter to film life. As the spool loosens, spills, tangles, we stand back unravelling the tormented complexity layer by layer loop by loop returning simple clarity in steady, undemanding motion. Keep it turning, flickering one fragile love to the next - joined by our continued efforts to crank the handle, to keep our finger on 'record'. Images to store in the intimate memory of a camera called 'love'. fk it why wont the verses seperate
  21. 6 points
    DJJK

    Current Sh Posts

    A quick note about Current SH Whilst we appreciate that members of the forum will sometimes engage in behaviour that is detrimental to their own wellbeing, we have to be quite clear about what is and isn't suitable content for the forum. CURRENT SH is NOT acceptable - that is to say, activity that you are currently engaging in. As stated in the terms of the site, our aim is to encourage you to find productive ways to deal with your situation, without resorting to damaging yourself. Occasionally we may have the URGE to self harm, or need to refer back to a previous issue that involved this - in which case, we would encourage you to discuss. All statuses or posts regarding CURRENT self harm, will be removed without exception.
  22. 6 points
    cw590

    New System

    what on earth is going on with this website? there are still so many problems.
  23. 6 points
    tink_85

    Josh Or Lily* ?

    WRONG WRONG WRONG!
  24. 6 points
    Roses

    Incapacity Benefit Claimants Reassessed

    You are entitled to your opinions sure, but you have to remember who you are speaking to. This is a MH forum and your intial statements were very triggering to a lot of people and I would expect someone who works with vulnerable adults to be more empathetic. Your comments would be better off posted on a Conservative Party politics discussion forum I'm sure.
  25. 6 points
    Joshua

    Update To The Site Terms

    Status updates - shall not be used for the purposes of saying goodbye or expressing wishes to self harm or commit suicide. It should also not be used for personal issues with other members.
  26. 5 points
    manja.

    Congratulations To Snoozysuzy On The Birth Of Her Baby Boy

    Hi everyone. Seeing as Snoozysuzy has given birth today to a beautiful baby boy, I wondered if anyone had mentioned it on the forum, or if Suzy had been online lately. Snoozysuzy here a week ago, and I searched for her name, and it was the most recent most I could find, so I don't think anyone else has done this. (I hope neither Suzy nor anyone else minds me doing so). I'd like to say a big congratulations to Snoozysuzy on the birth of her beautiful baby boy. Suzy I have enjoyed hearing your updates over the last months, and could feel how much you were longing for this day. So so happy for you xxx
  27. 5 points
    hummm_mabbe

    Say A Prayer For London.

    As one of my friends said: "If you are angry at the police, then why arent you attacking a police station, or parliament? These people do know that David Cameron and the Police DONT live out the back of Foot Locker, dont they?" Thats because these riots now have nothing to do with politics and everything to do with enjoying a good bit of violence and getting a free telly into the bargain. If they were political, we'd see more people in Westminster and far, FAR less walking out of Carphone Warehouse grinning over their new, free I-Phone. There is a vein of human nature that delights in destruction. Sometimes it just finds a way out, and has no need to drape itself in the colours of a cause. Sometimes people just like hurting each other. I can defo relate to the view on politics and whats going on with our planet, but I dont believe for a nanosecond that any one of those hoodie wearing pukes has even the vaguest notion of anything more complex than where their next pair of trainers is coming from. It might have started, 3 days ago, with meaning - but that evaporated. Edited comment as part of it could have looked inflammatory ...
  28. 5 points
    CrippleAndStarfish

    Recovery - What Does It Mean To You?

    so, despite feeling like a bleugh with words today, it seems i'm having no problem clogging up the forums with my posts!!!! I was wondering, I know we want to recover, want to be better.... but I appreciate that the idea of recovery for one person may be completely different to anothers idea of recovery, so i've decided to be nosey. what does recovery, what does being better mean to you? what does it involve? Crip xxx
  29. 5 points
    toaster

    Josh Or Lily* ?

    agree with what everyone else said - this is a user led forum but it seems the admin like to change things without telling the members. or maybe josh is bored and fancies another load of kicking off <_<
  30. 5 points
    Joshua

    New Support Service

    The world is about change, everything changes....
  31. 5 points
    doormouse

    Alters Having Accounts

    Been reading this thread.... just chuck in my two pence worth - I don't really know much about DID, except I have a friend who has it, but is always J when I'm with her. So, I can't really understand what its like to "be" more than one person, if thats the right way to put it. I confess, I don't have any particularly strong feelings either way about the separate accounts issue, but I can see that it can be pretty confusing. For those of us who may not know that a particular person has alters, and we can't "see" or tell when the alters switch. I guess what I'm also picking up is that lots of people with BPD - myself included - find change very very difficult. For me, I can start feeling nervous, unsettled and even more pathologically insecure! It's tricky being part of a community where we all have problems, somtimes we are going to set each other off! I reckon Lilly is right - who are we to judge? - but it cuts both ways - so I suppose what I'm asking is that we try and understand if people need to have accounts for alters, but also try and understand that this can be a bit scary for other people. Its not personal - its just part of the problems that we have. Hope thats not offended anyone Mousexx
  32. 5 points
    TizzyGirl

    Alters Having Accounts

    No, you asked who I am really, as if you was paranoid or something. There is a way to ask people things nicely, and that just wasn't it. You should try to be nice to people here, they might be able to help you and if you let them, even become your friends
  33. 5 points
    Joshua

    Some New Faces

    Well I have been a busy chappy. Ive incuded some new emoticons for both chat and the forums. Some of them are quite cool, some plain and some I just fell in love with. Yes this is one of them....
  34. 4 points
    bena.baby

    Preparing For The "new Edition"

    You should think about getting it neutered too, in case it runs off and gets pregnant/gets some other catchick pregnant.
  35. 4 points
    Corpsewithpulse

    To All

    There wasn't a general merry chrimbo thread so I hope nobody minds us putting this here... Sretan božić od Simona i Nermine Merry Christmas from Simon and Nermina
  36. 4 points
    AmyP

    Commending This Forum On Recent Shows Of Unbelievable Strength

    daisycat for being so strong in her silent struggles xx
  37. 4 points
    Villan

    Well Bad News.....

    as far as i can see "like" increases your points by 1 - guess there is no negative stuff anymore cos you can only "unlike" once you have "liked" and all that does is remove the point you gave them..
  38. 4 points
    bibiddi

    Forums

    I wrote a long reply, but lost it - so I will do an out line one. People lie for lots of reasons. Attention seeking commonly has such a negative judgemental behaviour,that people may lie to protect themselves and get a need they feel fulfilled.But cos its not the real need, they keep lying. Sometimes it is a manipulative tool. We may never find out the actual truth, some people may not trust their own truth. Try and remember that people are at different stages of their life - some are where you were a few years back. We cant change the people, but we can change how we behave. There's the old saying, only lend the money you can afford to lose. I would include emotional investment in it too.
  39. 4 points
    toocrazy

    Meet Sara - The Other Me *trigger?*

    omg this is another incredible post, (((Toaster)). You are unwrapping layer after layer on this site. You are transforming into another person. This post is brave, you are speaking to yourself. It is like with each post you see deeper into your own self. It is called integration. I can't tell you how moving it is to be able to watch you barrel forward through your core issues. There is a brilliant girl inside your tattered and torn past. I have no doubt you have suffered horrors at the hands of others but you suffer much more from your own mistakes. It doesn't matter who you were because you had to become whatever you became or you would have died. I believe it. I believe that about many people. You just don't hop up one day and get through what you got through by making the right decisions and living a good life. You turn as hard and cold and dishonest as possible so you are not destroyed. I'm not saying I know how far it went but it doesn't matter because it was ALL necessary to keep you alive. I was very worried when you had the wild night out because it would be terrible to see you fall away. You can't fall away and you definitely can't fall away because of drinking or drugs. You are not running with scissors any more. There is a peacefulness in your posts, a gentleness and you can't let it make you feel weak. Gentle is not weak or vulnerable. You are all kinds of people, aware of each situation-the more challenging the better-because no one was around to protect you from anything but you. Most people have protectors but you learned too early that it was up to you and you figured it out. Now you have 28 years of it and you are seeing it as separate pieces but it is all the miracle of you. How much energy has it taken to figure it out with each new circumstance? Survive each new world? Please, as the layers unfold start to see Louise for who she is. You have never had anyone but yourself and you can't let her down by seeing her as nothing. She is the author of your survival. She is the one who transformed to get through everything that has kept you alive. She is an incredible person. You can't abandon her or withhold your love. This is your chance to be free. This is your chance to be free. Don't expect it to feel normal. The hardest part of this battle is how uneventful it feels. big hugs around you...sorry if it sounds so weird...but you are a miracle
  40. 4 points
    piuma

    Bye Bye Dla

    if you are ill then you will get help simples...dla going but pip comin in, so those who are entitled will get. i know some of u panicking, but if you have medical back and stuff you b fine ...:blink:
  41. 4 points
    Warrior Princess

    Bullies

    When you are bullied online you have the advantage of choosing not to read, putting people on ignore, and avoiding their threads. With every situation that is difficult there is an opportunity to learn something. Face to face we don't have an ignore button. You can use these situations as golden opportunities to practice coping strategies that will be useful in the "Real world" People often refer to a "Safe place" online. Some deem this to be a place where they are wrapped in plastic bubble wrap and protected from every snide remark. But what really is a safe place? Is there a safe place to make mistakes? Screw up? get it wrong? If you don't have those opportunities how can you learn to better yourself? There will always be "Trolls" in this world and you can't change that. What you can change, is how you react (or choose not to react) to those people. The power and control is really in your hands. WP
  42. 4 points
    spudnbeans

    Wtf?!

    i know exactly how you feel i had some of my posts removed cos i was so angry but this person was allowed to wind everyone else up through what they said how does that work they got away with winding everyone up and if we responded then our posts were removed how does that work i do not know????
  43. 4 points
    Joshua

    So Called Former Borderlines Are Really Full Of Bs

    What you are missing is there is many people here who have been upset by you.
  44. 3 points
    piuma

    Please Sponsor Me To Raise Money For Samaritans

    She did it, video to follow this evening Xx
  45. 3 points
    Joshua

    Upgrade....

    Right, im told all is working well and there should be no more down time. Thanks for your patience and again my apologies. (good news is the site is rarely ever down)
  46. 3 points
    Joshua

    Im Going To Paris!

    You go girl!
  47. 3 points
    Villan

    Well Bad News.....

    do we still get notifications of rep point like we had with the "like" button... i "liked" that feature (btw this is a HINT for someone to + this to allow me to find out)
  48. 3 points
    jillv

    Recovery - What Does It Mean To You?

    For me recovery would be loving myself forgiving myself accepting the way things were/are and learning to feel.
  49. 3 points
    toaster

    Incapacity Benefit Claimants Reassessed

    ok thanx for apology the point is its not up to us to say who is entitled to these benefits, its up to the system. yes we're entitled to opinions, as u have shown, but so r the rest of us. i understand apologies arent easy but ppl r more likely to remember the reason why ur apologising rather than the apology - theres ppl here who dont like being on benefits MYSELF INCLUDED - im ashamed at the fact, ashamed that a doctor signed me off for life and im one of those ppl who is doing everything in her power to change her life and eventually come off benefits. its gonna take a while tho , its taken me years of therapy to get to this point, a lot of hard work and heartache and loss of ppl whislt trying to lead a normal life in the midst of all this. so ur throw away comments that ur able to just apologise r hurtful an will impact many as ppl here struggle every day to just stay alive. and comments such as 'Well I am totally uncaring and cold as a person who doesnt desrve support on here poor me maybe ill go cry somewhere. LOL!! ' just undoes any apology u made - like its joke. theres a time and place for humour and this doesnt seem to be it maybe next time think of the consequences of ur words then no apology is needed
  50. 3 points
    Shelley

    Thought Patterns.

    Okay, well I know I posted this in someones topic, but I thought I woould put it here so more people can see it, I find it very helpfull, and hope other's do too. Negative thought: People don't like me. Thought challenge: There are people that like me. I have had better relationships in the past and will in the future. Negative thought: If people really knew me they wouldn't like me. Thought challenge: There are things about me that are likeable and things that are unlikeable - just like everyone else. Negative Thought: It would be best if I stayed away from people because im no good at relationships. Thought Challenge: If I stay away I don't give myself a chance. I'll probably be alright if I can just relax. Negative Thought: I may break down emotionally in front of people and feel ridiculous. Thought Challenge: I have a good reason to be upset. People are a lot more understanding than I think. It would not be the end of the world. What is wrong with showing emotion ? Negative thought: Im hopeless at everything. I'll never sort myself out like this. Thought Challenge: Just take one step at a time. Totally condemning myself is nonsense. I've overcome more difficult problems than this. Negative Thought:I have nothing to say - im boring. Thought Challenge: I have opinions, thoughts and feelings. I like reading and going out. Perhaps I need to improve my ability to express myself. I can practise. Negative Thought: I can stand it.Thought Challenge: It's difficult but I can put up with it. It is good for me. Negative Thought: I am just not good enough. Thought Challenge:: I am not perfect. Like everybody I am good at some things and not so good at others. Negative Thought: What is the point in trying. Thought Challenge If I don't try I won't know. Trying in itself will broaden my experience and skill. Nobody is expecting me to do it personally. Negative thought: What if I make a mistake - it would would be awfull. Thought ChallengeEverybody makes mistakes. It is good to make mistakes because that is the best way to learn. Negative Thought Everybody else has a better time than I do- they're all happy. Thought Challenge: I dont know this for a fact. Just because they seem busier doesn't mean they are more satisfied.
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