verntheconfused Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Abby,we are here. You are not alone and yes there is help.It just might take some time to find it.Good luck!Vern Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jai Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Abbyyour reasons seem many, from a great therapist, who totally blows all our nhs lots out of the water on the availability scale and caring scale, a wonderful hubby, a life that offers you beautiful scenes to sit and dwell by, a job i believe? oh and us lot to support you through rough waters. These are loads of reasons. hang in there.jai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Oh Miko, Spaghetti, Jai, and Vern,Thanks oh thanks.... I thought I was just the perverbial pain here. Thanks from making me feel like I matter. It has been really hard and my alters are trying to get rid of my therapist. He still is standing tough but how much abuse can one take? These are hards times for me. It still is gloomy outside and drizzly. Each year it gets harder. Write back to me pleaseAbby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 When you say, 'trying to get rid of' or 'trying to kill', I don't always know what is going on, concretely, it is your best shorthand for it, but also if you can sometimes add an alternative explanation I would be clearer.Not a criticism of you definitely. Just an admittance of my need.What I do get out of your wording for sure is that you are dismayed by a recurrent element of unpredictability in what you are going through.Between your T and the work orders in triplicate on the fireside rug (with candy wrapped inside) idea, what strikes you as practicable?:hugs: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mort Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 (((Abby)))I am sorry that your alters are making it so tough for you and your therapist.I wish I could help. Please try to remember that you do matter and I do care whether it's you or one of your alters that is posting.Sometimes I might miss a post but that is not a reflection on you.I care and am thinking of you. Hope your therapist understands I'm sure he does and will support you through the hard times and share the good times when they come. Like we will do here.tcmort x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jai Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 abbykeep checking in and keep posting, the more you talk and share what is going on the more we can all try to support you though this time. I know it is extra hard right now, the seasons turning and the work you are doing challenging. You have come so far...dont give up on you...jai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Jai Mort Miko,I have much further to go than I have come. I know its too late to turn back now but to go forward is so hard. I hate that my t knows so many secrets that even I don't know. I had a session last night and I can feel him take me back there. I can feel the feelings and I am so scared. I asked to go home early last night cuz it was too much. It still is after all these years. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whhyyy Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 we've got to face what we want to kick the shit out of i'm sorry it hurts babe, u r not alone when u r here, always here for support. we can try and run but the feelings remain, after the alcohol or drugs wear off the pain still lives. well dont for telling your secrets tho, tis very hard to do......... know so many people that still run even when face to face with t, bound by confidentiality n all that jazz. so well done for vopicing things, i know how it left me feeling weak, exposed and vulnerable, but it will help....... with trust.hugs honey, tc, me x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Thanks for the understanding. Hope to get to know you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whhyyy Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 me?????? if so.. yeah look forward to getting to know u to. think we've spoken few times babe, but nice to read a little more about u. tc, hugs, me x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nettynoodle Posted September 15, 2006 Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 hi abbyjust been reading this and now i know you have alters i understand a bit more about you.what i dont understand is are they scared the T is trying to get rid of them by integrating them or are you trying to gain more control of when they appear.i run a support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and we had a member who had 67 alters mostly aged from 5 to 18 and she didnt want to get rid of hers but just wanted to gain more control of them. she has since let the group as she can control and gives talks on how to deal with DID.i know your going through a really bad time and we're all here for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2006 Netty,I dont' know what they are trying to do but get me to remember. I know trust is a big thing for me and for them. Sometimes I think this is all a bad dream or I am just really crazy. Can you tell me about the person you knew? How did she communicate with them? How did they decide who was out? What happened if they didn't agree? Did some of them punish the others?Thanks Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nettynoodle Posted September 16, 2006 Report Share Posted September 16, 2006 some of them she was scared ofbut they didnt come out oftenmostly there were chidrenthe 16yr old used to be the most protective and they would leave notes to her, she did say it was a relief to be allowed ito our support group as others had turned her away cos they didnt know how to cope with her alters but she spent most of her time with me cos i used to be a childmnder so they felt safe with meshe wrote each one a letter and gave them a present with it explaining that she loved them and understood why they were trying to protect her but she needed them to let her live her life and they would always be welcome but they needed to ask before coming out.it seemed to work for her but everyones different Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2006 thanks that is interesting. Hope to chat more. Had a bad night last night. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nettynoodle Posted September 16, 2006 Report Share Posted September 16, 2006 take care abby :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingernut Posted September 16, 2006 Report Share Posted September 16, 2006 Abby,Im sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment and I feel like I am jumping into this too late. I keep thinking about replying but never seem to find anything intelligent or valuable to say. I just want you to know that I keep checking this post and I have thought about pming you but lose the nerve.Anyway I hope it does get better for you soonGinger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2006 GingerYou are so sweet. If anything this post has shown me that there are alot people here that care that I didn't know. Sometimes I just feel.... I guess how we all feel left out and useless. This time of year is so hard for me. I have one alter that makes sure things aren't smooth but I have survived every year so I am sure I will make it through this one. My hubby leaves tomorrow to go overseas for a week. Hope to get to chat with you some more.. and I will try not to be so nosey. But thanks for responding. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted September 16, 2006 Report Share Posted September 16, 2006 AbbyHas hubby gone yet?Do you have company? - I hope so stay safepipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted September 17, 2006 Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 Thanks Netty and Abby for your discussionthat was soooooo helpful to meMy facets are so unpredictable as wellI know they have frightened some other peopleThank you Abby & others for inspiring me to want to develop and grow and do something about my own problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 Miko.I don't quite understand your post but one thing I have learned is that WE ARE here for each other. You and I are close in age and see lots of the same things. Please know that there are those out there who think like you ........ and take courage from that.Abby....And thanks and love and hugs and more than you know to everyone who cared enough to acknowledge me in my time of need........ I have no words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silla Posted September 17, 2006 Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 Abby,I'm a little slow getting in here, but I hope you're finding your way through the hard times. My therapist always says the only way out of them is to go through them.There are definitely a lot of people who care for you here, myself included.I hope that things will get better for you, soon. ((love)) to you.Jenny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbynormal Posted September 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 Mia,I have a daugher in law that I love more than life and you remind me of her. She is special and talented and loving. What I wouldn't give to be able to hug you like I get to hug her. Take care of yourself. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silla Posted September 17, 2006 Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 Abby,I wish I could hug you right now, too. You're such a caring person, you've really made me feel worthwhile, several times on this board.((Abby)) - an online hug will have to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted September 17, 2006 Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 AbbyIt's the way you (and some others) have often written about alters made me suspect the position was not too different in kind from my facets - like hats I put on but I sometimes don't find I have thought it out enough before putting on a particular hat ...Having had the opportunity to explore it in a bit more detail has been of immense help to meI am glad you welcomed the interest shown (I always assume that is why people mention something in a post anyway) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted September 17, 2006 Report Share Posted September 17, 2006 AbbyI hope you see that this is not the end of the road now,we all do carepipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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