Lauren Posted December 6, 2004 Report Share Posted December 6, 2004 You may have heard this phrase The Survivor Personality, or seen some websites or read the book, if not, read on, and dig that aha! instant clarity that this describes you! By Al Siebert PhD. (my emphasis) The Emergence of a New, Exceptional Level of Mental Health A primary research activity of the author, for many years, has been to understand and describe people with such exceptional mental and emotional health that they gain strength from extreme adversities instead of becoming psychological casualties. For descrptive purposes an operational definition "the survivor personality" was created. Questions about why some people survive better than others, what consistent personality traits appear in life's best survivors, and how the survivor personality develops have been core questions. (Siebert, 1967; Water and Siebert, 1976; Siebert, 1983; Siebert, 1985a., Siebert, 1994; Siebert, 1996.) Other questions about the survivor personality include, "How many people have the survivor personality?" and "How long have there been people with this sort of personality?" The pattern of traits usually found in life's best survivors include: Behavioral... *A playful curiosity, an inclination to experiment, try things out on their own, a preference to find out for themselves how things work rather than accept other people's perceptions. They ask lots of questions. As adults they show that they have retained from childhood the ability to be playful, toy with things, and learn directly from experience. *Laugh and play with life, with their own minds and feelings, with people and situations. They enjoy being mirthful, foolish, laugh at their own foibles. *They enjoy finding out how things work. They show the natural neurogenic, self-motivation described by White in his classic paper on the concept of competence. (White, 1959) Motives and personality characteristics... *Their endurance, persistence, resiliency in new and complex situations is primarily derived from having integrated major mental and emotional paradoxes into their ways of functioning. They act with a selfish unselfishness, approach challenges with an optimistic pessimism, have a sensitive toughness, engage in self-confident self-criticism. They have achieved an independent dependency, the list goes on and on. Each person's paradoxical make up is unique, however, because their response patterns are a function of the world they interact with. *A central motive emerging from self-managed learning is best described as a synergy motivation (Siebert, 1976, 1983, 1985a). They are good at making things work well, need to have things working well, expect to be able to make things work well, and are creative in coming up with unique solutions that work. They function well in ambiguous, confused situations because of their inner directed sense of direction. They feel motivated to change situations and conditions from low synergy to high synergy, this having many signs of being a neurologically based need. *Capacity for empathy for people, groups, things. They have pattern empathy, can "read" situations quickly with their eyes and feelings; can draw meaningful impressions from little data; have empathy (not sympathy) for enemies and attackers. *Consciously attuned to subliminal perceptions. They read their own bodies well, notice little physical clues that something is not right or that everything is OK. Will consider as valid hunches, intuitions, ESP experiences. *Defend themselves well. Anticipate danger and take avoidance or preventative action before it can happen. They can be highly resistant to threats, con jobs, pressure, and trickery. They can be deadly opponents if forced into that position. Key Outcomes *Life gets better and better for them as the decades go by. They get stronger and stronger from the various adversities, strains, and difficulties they encounter. The best survivors have usually been through the worst experiences. They match up with de*****ions of people who are the small percentage of individuals who recover from cancer, alcoholism, or major medical conditions. (Siegal, 1986) *Function autonomously within society according to own personal values. They are responsible rebels, cooperative non-conformists. While they can't be controlled or made to be responsible citizens, they voluntarily participate in making things run well. *Exercise a talent for serendipity. They convert misfortune into good luck. Typically refer back to the worst things that ever happened to them as being the best thing that ever happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted December 6, 2004 Report Share Posted December 6, 2004 I think this is worth reading twice. It may seem long and not terribly riveting, but I think it is one of the most worthwhile pieces I've seen on this site. Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted December 6, 2004 Report Share Posted December 6, 2004 Exactly what Verbena said...... This is totally a valuable peice of literature - well done Lorna for finding it... I think it is very valid and should be a permanent posting on the forum... Good onya girl!!! Ginny :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 Lorna you are a star, Sweetie, before I encountered my ex-husband (from whom I am still recovering) this totally described me. I know that when I am through this nasty patch I will be the stronger for it, and reading what you have quoted is a really good reminder of where I'm headed. I'm so keen to get off the venlafaxine though - really wondering if that is what is making me feel so tired and wobbly all the time (are you still there ls?) :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 I agree. I have known people like this. It is indeed very insightful. Wish I was one of them! It would be even more interesting to know whether they reckon that the existence of the personality type, as with any other personality type, is a biologically in-built kinda thing, or something that is created by environment...ah gawd...nature- nurture again! Thanks for posting it lorna. I agree with ginny it would make a useful permanent fixture on the site! claire xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 dont mean to sound daft but this bit of this article ca u explain?.... does it mean we match them? or that we hang out with them? or am i just reading totally wrong lolol .... *Life gets better and better for them as the decades go by. They get stronger and stronger from the various adversities, strains, and difficulties they encounter. The best survivors have usually been through the worst experiences. They match up with de*****ions of people who are the small percentage of individuals who recover from cancer, alcoholism, or major medical conditions. (Siegal, 1986) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 Zippy, I am assuming it was meant as we are similar in that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexa Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 Wow. Thanx for that Lorna. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 If you see that you have a shred of any one of these traits, do your best to develop it. Trade just one of our cherished BPD traits for one survivor trait. I do feel like there are several in the list above that apply to myself and many of you. If you feel the same try not to deny it. Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 BPD traits are survivor traits. They kept us alive and fairly sane as children. So in respect of that each and every one of us are survivors. If we could develop what was then skills in order to survive I see no reason that with time and work we can not learn new skills that keep us safe and allow us to be happy in every day life. We all made it through once. We can all do it again. Tc L xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 BPD traits are survivor traits, but a horribly painful way to exist. Why not trade up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 There is an american doctor who reckons that BPD is a physiological phenomenon related to Epilepsy. I was overjoyed to find this as I have no history of abuse before my marriage (although my adoptive family was not too good at expressing emotion). My biological mother had a grand mal attack at 14, which was exactly the same age that I developed bpd. my half sisters and brother all have symptoms of depression or issues with uncontrollable temper or are at least exceptionally intuitive - I didn't meet any of them until I was thirty, which really suggests to my that many of my symptoms are the result of a biological predisposition precipitated by stressful events in my environment - ie lots of nature, but daily life even more than nurture making an impact on it. When I'm feeling a bit more energetic/happy I'll track him down - I know he does have a website. Swan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 That is very interesting Swan, I think there could be something in that... Anyway, hope you find your brother - and things are great!! Ginny :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 Sorry!!!!!! Not your brother - the psych!!!! (duh!!) I am still asleep this morning!!! Ginny :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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