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Has Anyone Ever Had An Abortion?


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((((((((((((((((NAME)))))))))))))))))

Im sure htere is lots and lots of support out there. Im sure people on here wil do everything they can to try and make any suggestions if you need help. There might be some forums somewhere else for young mothers as well.

I know you worry about youre kid being taken away, but if you were to contact social services they could put into place all sorts of support to help you care for your children - they can even send in cleaners. Plus there is sure start and all that kind of thing. Community groups? church? I think there are loads of nice peole out there who would liek to do anything they could to help someone with their children. There is adopt a granny too which could share things with youre parents and make an old lady somewhere very happy.

And you just arent a bad parent. Youre making sure youre kid gets time with their grandparents. youre trying to be there for them. Some kids never see their parents. A chartered accountant once came to my school adn gave a talk. she had two kids who she left with an opair everyday. She would see htem for one hour a day for 'quality time' and that would be that. she said she once decided to stay with them for a whole half term and she said she hated it and felt that parents shouldnt have to spend so much time with their children cos its bad for them. Believe me, just by your attitude yo uare already beinga more warm and loving mother.

I wish you had lots of friends around you too. Perhaps when youre child is born you could join a parent and baby group? babies are always good talking points

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I have had two abortions. While they were every emotional decisions, I knew with an uncharacteristic certainty at the time, that I could not cope, and knew that it was the 'best solution/option available to me at the time'.

I know in my heart that had I continued with the pregnancies, I would not have existed. I was too sick.

I am grateful that the choice existed, grateful I was enabled to make it without judgmentalist or religious biases surrounding me. I went through mine alone and unsupported, but I surived in tact. By that I mean that the choices didnt deepen my depression or worsen my condition, instead they instigated a full on journey towards recovery. They and the pain of the choices, became a catalyst for productive changes in my behaviour and attitudes towards sex and Self. Nothing of the experience of the terminations was wasted or lost...and owing to faith as much as right action, the choices ultimatly led to a realistic and sustainable healing process.

Today the choices I made then are demonstrating their value, in that I am a responsible capeable loving mother of 2 today...able through that kickstarted journey into recovery to be fully present in my childrens lives despite living with bpd depression and ptsd.

In a way, the choices I made back then were like/are like choices I made in a time of "war"...difficult, bloody but necessary at the time. And that is the extent of my guilt towards them.

I wish you peace, freedom and time

warm thoughts

blue

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I'm all for free expression but I'm not sure this really is the right place to be asking for advice on such an emotive subject.

From what I've seen, to YOU, there is NO PLACE to ask for advice. There is NO PLACE to ask for help. There's only some vaguely anarchaic SUPPOSED idea behind any suggestion.

You never seem to suggest any alternative, just anarchy.

Oh YAY!

NO RULES.

of course that means you get no help either you nutter. the societies that think you have WORTH happen to EXIST within the realms you're trying to outlaw.

Your anarchic compadres do not give one iota about you. you're nothing but a molecular abberation.

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Name,

I want to thank you for posting this because as i said i have not spoken about my experience, and was almost too scared too.

It has helped me realise that its ok to talk about it sometimes, and that i havnt dealt with it at all.

I do really hope you are feeling better and that you are ok?

you are welcome to pm me anytime :)

Karina xxx

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I had an abortion when I was 12

although it wasn't really my decision I still feel guilty about it

you need to work out and do what is right to you

I feel it made me a murderer

different people believe different things tho - and you have to make it work for you somehow whatever the decision you make

Z

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PLEASE do yourself this very big favour and make your final decision without being influenced by any of the opinions.... however well intended.

I had all the best intentions in the world when my daughter fell pregnant

I offered to addopt the little one/ pay for everything/ stand by her/ etc.

she did not want to keep the baby

it was a ver sad and heartbreaking moment for both of us

today she cannot have children and i feel the loss of the only grandchild i could ever have had.

we are very close but the sadness and in a way(( guilt?)) that she feels is breaking my heart and hers

but at the time it was the best desision for her

It was made in haste though. So if I could advise------please take time to talk about this to someone you trust and care for.

love

trans

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Do what is right for you Name.

You admit you are not coping with one child.

Will it get any better with 2?

I have personal experience which i am willing to share.

I was pregnant at a young age, 13.

My sexual abuser booked me an abortion.

He got real angry at the price and..

did it himself :(

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I had an abortion. I was 17, I'm now 22. If I could turn the clock back and have that time again, I doubt I would go through with it.

My bfs mum told me that I was immature, and that the baby would probably end up being taken in to care. Before she said that to me I was split 50/50 on the decision, but after she said that, I decided the abortion would be the best thing. I felt quite alone and unsupported. What was worse for me was that I'd had a scan (I was experiencing bleeding, and the hospital wanted to check I wasn't miscarrying) and seen the foetus. I was shocked at how much it already looked like a baby. I could see its heart beating, and during the scan it stretched out its arm. I still don't judge other women that choose to have abortions, it really is their choice to make, but I know that memory will stick in my mind.

I really hope you make the choice thats right for you. Please take care of yourself.

Steph x

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hey guys, i read each post but forgive me for not responding to all of them. thank you for taking the time to share your experiences and advice, i appreciate it.

i do not think i can go thru w/ the abortion. my only choice is to do the best i can and hope that i learn to cope better w/ my kids.

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you have made a brave decision though.

i wish I had made the decision you had. You can do it just think you have a brand new beautiful life growing inside of you.

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unfortunetly i wish that i had never gotten pregnant, w/ this baby or w/ my daughter... its just too hard :(

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you can wish and wish and wish but it wont change anything, I bet you wouldnt swap your daughter for the world.

You can do this and be a good mom. You have us lot to lean on if you struggling to.

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given the opportunety to go back in time and never have gotten pregnant, as long as i wouldnt have any memory of my girl, i'd take it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Name :)

This is a hard thing to answer since only you can make the decision.

It´s important that you talk to a professional about it, especially because of the amount of guilt you have.

I wonder some things while reading your posts... are you sure you are a "bad" mum to your little girl? I ask you this because I am a mother of 2 and I always tell my therapist how lousy I am, how I cant cope and when I feel I cant deal with it anymore I dissasociate completely from the world. BUT my therapist makes me see that even in my own way, I have always been there. With my ups and downs and horrible moodswings, my kids adore me. Sometimes I feel I dont deserve it... but although I am not the image of what a "normal" mother should be, I am here.

So, maybe you are a wonderful mum and you just diminish yourself and have convinced yourself that you cant do it when probably you have great potential in you. Maybe it would help to see it with another perspective. Allow yourself to breathe and see the GOOD things in you. :)

About abortion.. I was veeery close to doing it with my second kid. I had sent his father to jail for domestic violence and I was so ashamed of being pregnant again from this monster. I didnt even think ab it and found a clinic. Finally I didnt do it.. I was happy with my decission but simply out of myself through the whole pregnancy. I rejected it. I was so mad with myself. I had no job, no partner and just guilt, anger and embarrasment.

Finally my boy was born and I left all those crapppy feelings behind automatically. I understood how terrible I would have felt if I´ve had an abortion.

He is now 8 and I am a very unstable mum, usually jumping from one job to another and same with relationships but I wouldnt change them for anything :)

This is MY story. Just sharing. It´s your decission sweetie. Look into yourself when you are calm and ask if u really cant handle it or u are just in an "all black" vision. Ask yourself if u can handle the guilt of having it OR not having it.

Be good to yourself, dont be so harsh. You are a lovely being. :)

And remember, get a hold of a therapist. It´s very important since he/she will know your real condition and will give an objective point of view.

PM me if you need anything. You are not alone. :bigarmhug[1]:

Ale

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Hi Name :)

This is a hard thing to answer since only you can make the decision.

It´s important that you talk to a professional about it, especially because of the amount of guilt you have.

I wonder some things while reading your posts... are you sure you are a "bad" mum to your little girl? I ask you this because I am a mother of 2 and I always tell my therapist how lousy I am, how I cant cope and when I feel I cant deal with it anymore I dissasociate completely from the world. BUT my therapist makes me see that even in my own way, I have always been there. With my ups and downs and horrible moodswings, my kids adore me. Sometimes I feel I dont deserve it... but although I am not the image of what a "normal" mother should be, I am here.

So, maybe you are a wonderful mum and you just diminish yourself and have convinced yourself that you cant do it when probably you have great potential in you. Maybe it would help to see it with another perspective. Allow yourself to breathe and see the GOOD things in you. :)

About abortion.. I was veeery close to doing it with my second kid. I had sent his father to jail for domestic violence and I was so ashamed of being pregnant again from this monster. I didnt even think ab it and found a clinic. Finally I didnt do it.. I was happy with my decission but simply out of myself through the whole pregnancy. I rejected it. I was so mad with myself. I had no job, no partner and just guilt, anger and embarrasment.

Finally my boy was born and I left all those crapppy feelings behind automatically. I understood how terrible I would have felt if I´ve had an abortion.

He is now 8 and I am a very unstable mum, usually jumping from one job to another and same with relationships but I wouldnt change them for anything :)

This is MY story. Just sharing. It´s your decission sweetie. Look into yourself when you are calm and ask if u really cant handle it or u are just in an "all black" vision. Ask yourself if u can handle the guilt of having it OR not having it.

Be good to yourself, dont be so harsh. You are a lovely being. :)

And remember, get a hold of a therapist. It´s very important since he/she will know your real condition and will give an objective point of view.

PM me if you need anything. You are not alone. :bigarmhug[1]:

Ale

thank you soo much for your encouragement and the sharing of you story.

i didnt abort. am am 14 weeks today, and i felt it kick for the first time 2 days ago. :) i also heard its heartbeat 2 weeks ago.

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I have been there sweetie :) Be strong and PM me if u need anything.

By the way, I have to say the oposite thing that you say in your signature... "I am not pregnant, I am fat" :lol: (I am thin with large belly for eating too much cake against anxiety!)

Hugs!

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I have been there sweetie :) Be strong and PM me if u need anything.

By the way, I have to say the oposite thing that you say in your signature... "I am not pregnant, I am fat" :lol: (I am thin with large belly for eating too much cake against anxiety!)

Hugs!

LoL thanks

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  • 1 year later...

ok, i have a lil gurl who is fixin to be 4, and i am sooo unstable that i cannot take care of her, she mainly stays with my parents. now my dumb ass got knocked up again and i am 11 weeks pregnant.

i am having a terrible time w/ this pregnancy, the depression is terrible, and there is no husband or baby's fathers for my kids. its just me and my parents (i am almost 25)

i know that there is no way i am going to be able to take care of my new baby, b/c i cant even take care of my daughter. i have considered adoption but i know that i wouldnt be able to give my child away b/c i'd always wonder about the baby i gave away. even tho i'd be giving it a new life, it would tear me apart and deepen my depression.

i am considering an abortion (i dont even believe in abortion) but i am scared to death. someone told me you feel the entire procedure, and i've researched and even seen videos on actual abortions. but my main concern is how in the world can i live with myself knowing that i killed my baby? i am seriously worried that an abortion would push me over the edge afterwards. i'd never be able to live.

i really dont know what to do b/c i know i cant take of this kid.

has anyone had an abortion, and can you tell me the effects that you suffered from it?

thanks.

i just found out im pregnant and haveing an abortion on friday i am a wreck dont know waht is right...message me we can talk

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hi nire, this is an old post, so the person who started may not be around still...

please read the replies, they may help, sundries found this out for me... thanx sundries, it has helped a likkle ;)

please take time nire, dont rush, and do it for u x

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