Pauls Poetry Spot

[pgiggle]

Obsession is

Obsession is something we cannot control

It writhes in our head till it runs the show

We try to distract and channel the flow

Obsession is the feeling where all thought must go

Paul

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I’m all alone

I live in my head where no one else will go

In life there are people who think they know me

My head tries to separate who’s friend from who’s foe

If they knew my thoughts they’d all turn and flee

My mind is my safe place where I cant be hurt

The real world is scary and filled with pain

Out there is the place I get treated like dirt

So I stay indoors and live in my brain

My sanctuary is not as safe as it could be

Faith isn’t something people often believe

I allow people close in my head with me

And there they get scared and ask for reprieve

So what can I do with my need for friends

I stay in my head and obsess till it ends

Paul

[pgiggle]

Fear

You walk alone your in life and try not to fear

Your own thoughts and deeds are all you live by

To want to feel passion and love someone dear

But fear keeps you alone like the sun in the sky

To keep from being alone you hold people near

To avoid the fear you are willing to live a lie

Fear is what grips you in the dead of the night

It holds you in mockery in panic and dread

It makes you decide should you flee or fight

Fear makes you wonder, what the hell am I dead

Fear gets in your thoughts and ruins each plight

Fear rules where it wants and usually your head

They say you have nothing to fear but fear itself

Fear is a the kick in the crotch that ruin all else

Paul

[pgiggle]

Morning glory

For those that don’t know me I’m a romantic at heart

But like any man I wake up with a belch and a fart

I go into the bathroom to see what’s to see

And a balding old guy looks back at me

I brush my teeth and do my normal confusions

I am getting older are the only conclusions

With less and less hair every day

And guess what a beer belly on the way

I’m shuffling through the best I know how

With my child and my wife (not a silly cow)

I’m looking for happiness and to be less stressed

All I find is I’m older and not so well dressed

Its not so bad this getting older you know

Just so long as I relax and go with the flow

Paul

[pgiggle]

That nasty word

Guilt, is there a more despicable word

I cant think of any that I’ve ever heard

Just the mention makes my heart jump

Its inside me I feel like a dump

I want to lose guilt not gain any more

Guilt is a word on which I wage war

The feeling is not wanted nor welcome in fact

If I change the word will I change how I react

So lets try for joy see if that fits for demotion

Joy is a good word not right for the emotion

What about hope now that’s a nice word

But hope is nice, guilt makes me feel like turd

Perhaps a name change isn’t the way

To live with guilt is something for every day

So my focus on guilty emotion must change

Get into a tank and put my guilt on the firing range

The word guilt is just a word its true

Its the implication I hate of not being you

For guilt influences decisions and choices we make

Ah bugger it all I’m going to eat a big cake!

Paul

[pgiggle]

Inside

Inside I am dead

I wait for resurrection

Empty feelings in the head

That need hope and direction

Lost and alone

I reach out for contact

I’m scared to the bone

Looking for the next impact

I trust myself not

To share a real kinship

My insides just rot

I cant trust in friendship

If I am not hurt

I treat people bad

I make them like dirt

I’m left feeling sad

If they hurt me

To my head I will go

Its inside I’m free

To choose what I show

Its inside I’m void

Its outside I’m fake

In here I’m annoyed

How much more can I take

Paul

[Shellybelly]

pig

ypur a genius at this poem writhing

keep up the great work

well done

love them all

hugs ya

mickey

[pgiggle]

What is on a beach

Seagulls squawk the thoughts of malnourished frustration

Seaweed strewn everywhere like hopes and lost dreams

White noise the of waves kills all hope of concentration

Windswept sand cuts across flesh in ribbon like reams

The soul wanders about like an extinct, wobbly crustacean

Be careful my friend, what is on a beach is not all that it seems

Paul

[Rael]

they are great, and morning glory made me howl. keep it up.

all the best

donna

xxx

[pgiggle]

I Don’t Panic

The whole of human kind is full of self treason

We all talk to ourselves when looking for reason

We ask, should we do this, or maybe do that

We look to ourselves for an internal chat

Who do we ask, we feel as one entity

We are a collaboration of united identity

A committee we carry in our own mind

Do not feel alone I mean all human kind

We talk to ourselves but never out loud

Except when we are in a very large crowd

When smothered by others just walking around

Our thoughts up and leave us alone on the ground

They circle up high, and take a vote

Deciding to stay disguised as a dust mote

Our body just clatters through till all is clear

Its then the thoughts clamber back in through an ear

They say you’re ok now you’re safe once again

But why do they fly off when I needed them then?

Paul

[pgiggle]

Inner Crying

The child is crying

Inside its dying

The inner child screams

Ripping apart from the seams

On the surface I smile

I make jokes all the while

My inner self knows

Its taken to many blows

In the dark it waits

Till all pain abates

Looking for comfort fast

That child from my past

The fear that he can see

It also belongs to me

So the comfort he needs

Is mine to search for on my knees

Paul

[Shellybelly]

i love inner child it brill

well done pig

[Rael]

its wonderful to see you growing so much in your confidence as a poet. well done.

these are great

donna

xxx

[pgiggle]

Who Am I

I bounce from friend to friend looking for something

A void inside that needs filling, who am I

I look to myself as the problem for understanding

The light inside ever dim, who am I

Each new friend I leave bewildered and confused

The torrent inside me screams who am I

Why is it each friend feels used and abused

Not trusting myself to be honest, who am I

At first I try to be what my new pal dictates

I don’t know how to be me you see, who am I

So I make sure I fulfil needs and act like we’re mates

Self awareness and struggle for identity, who am I

Paul

[pgiggle]

:trigger:

Untitled

The space between us is vast

I love you and blame my past

I try to share what I fear and feel

You understand but it all seems unreal

I tell you what I do to myself

You worry about my physical health

The release I feel is all it is for

I’m not just some self abusing whore

I love you and fear that this truth will end

What future we had, am I left with a friend

This confession is the hardest to make

I love you for real I’m not just a fake

Paul

[pgiggle]

Euphemism

What a wonderful word

It twists what I thought I heard

I thought we were friends

With flirting that ends

Am I missing the code

Should my pants explode

I thought you’re a mate

Now you ask for a date

Where are you coming from

No don’t bring a condom

I’m a coward these days

Trying to learn to behave

I used to break hearts

Now I want fresh starts

I’m trying to control

The randy foll de roll

‘Cos I’m weak trust me

Drop your knickers and see

I have a love declared

Anything new of I’m scared

I’m an outrageous flirt

The aftermath leaves me like dirt

So if I start to show

Something you don’t want to know

Just tell me nicely

To respect that boundary

If you do it to me

I may well just flee

I trust in me not

To make you feel hot

I’m a hopeless romantic

And slightly pedantic

I’m trying to learn

On what friendship term

Paul

[pgiggle]

Tears Of A Clown

I cry the tears

To wash my fears

To purge the emotion

Form inside comotion

All I get from it

Is feeling like shit

Yet off I go

Give my nose a blow

I keep it quiet

Just like my diet

Its internal fear

I’m purging here

So why do I still

Feel not so brill

A good cry should

Make me feel I could

Take on the problems

Not leave me in doldrums

When I feel down

Its tears of a clown

Paul

[pgiggle]

:trigger:

To Unnamed

How can you stand to live with the guilt

What you did was wrong and unfair

I was trying to sleep under my quilt

For extra control you had hold of my hair

What you thought was ok to do to me next

Still leaves me hollow, self hating and numb

What went on in their I cant put in text

Till I was twenty I still sucked my thumb

I hate you for what you did to me

I want out so the unending pain will end

Each time you came my thoughts would flee

To try to stop me going round the bend

I hate you for what you did to me

The worst part is you made me hate me

Paul

[pgiggle]

True Love?

Who can say if true love is real

We base love on what we think we feel

To love a pet well that takes no work

But misplace love and you feel like a berk

True love is when you don’t care for consequences

I’m sure I read that here in somebody’s sentences

So who do you want to trust with your heart

At what point do you think true love can start

No one can say that your love is not true

For that answer you need look no further than you

Paul

[pgiggle]

Internal Solitude

An empty car park with just one car

A moonless night with just one star

A sandy beach with only one seagull

My solitude feels real but its void and null

I walk through a crowd yet feel alone

Desperate for closeness I cant atone

I keep my self distant and cold inside

I am alone because I choose to hide

I have many people who walk with me

To share my burdens and even my glee

But inside I feel near perfect solitude

I hide it all behind a fake attitude

I take care who I let get to know me well

It’s a form of protection from personal hell

Its easier to play a fake or nice gent

Than deal with the fear of poor judgement

So the perfect solitude I crave

Is something I choose to take to my grave

It easy to live internally alone

Than really admit I’m cut to the bone

The crap I have lived through has scared

To the heart and beyond I feel bared

So please don’t take this personally

The inner solitude is not really a choice you see

I know it’s a form of self destruction

I know its just for self preservation

I realise that I hold you at arms length

To keep you there takes all my strength

But to let anyone truly know me

Means I have to address who I may be

For me to know me is not on the agenda

I am just a “return to sender”

I am broken but oddly content

On me true friendship is not well spent

I live through this lie to try to obscure

What has happen to me before

So don’t take it personally when I

Seem to drift of into the sky

I find things for my mind to do

So you can avoid knowing me true

I desperately want to call you friend

But before I do the internal crap must end

Paul

[Paris]

Wow Paul,

That last one really struck a chord with me.

thanks for sharing them

Lou

[Shellybelly]

pig

wow your poetry is brilliant

even since you wrote that first one they have got even better if that was even possible

there brill superb your a genus at them

still reading them all sorry not replying to them as much but im still interested in them

there fantastic

hope your well and pig i consider you my friend and if you want to open up to me

feel free i know it will be hard but to get better it something we all most do

hugs the genus pig

mickey

[pgiggle]

Elusive Illusion

Reality’s elusive, escapism rules

The real worlds an illusion just for fools

The people would rather believe in a lie

Than know the truth of what’s under the sky

Ignorance is bliss and to easy for some

But leaves us wondering what’s next to come

Are we here for a reason with a clear direction

Or like dust motes moving with Brownian motion

Have we a predefined fate, some type of plan

Is free will a fake to lay blame where we can

Is religion really better to us guide through life

Or a strong moral code the best way to avoid strife

If your like me then you need to know

From which direction to expect the next blow

So I fret and worry to work out what next

All this leaves me sleepless and ever so vexed

I stress over tiny details and revelations

Trying to read between the lines of conversations

All that I realise in all my confusion

Is to believe I live in a total illusion

Paul

[pgiggle]

Run

Running and running while trying not to look behind

Its trying to turn you into one of its kind

The creature of desolation is always following

Running is the only option you’re contemplating

It grabs your left shoulder and drags you down

You hit the ground with a groan and a frown

Its got you again and will assimilate

All your good feelings turn into self hate

Self awareness and self esteem just vanish

All purpose in life the Thing will banish

For every step forward the thing keeps pace

So you dare not stop to tie a shoe lace

Despair and desolation await you if caught

No matter what progress you may have thought

Its always their to make you want to die

One step forward is only ever just a lie

So what to do to escape this crap

Please tell me because I’m falling back

Paul

[CharcoalKiss]

Wow Paul. Inspirational. Emotive. God i don't know what to say! They are all fantastic. Such a mix of emotions that all come across crystal clear in your words. Its moving. Absolutely brilliant. You are very talented. Keep it up!