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Is This Ocd


lostinmyself

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I wont go into detail but i have horrible evil thoughts about killing people who are very close to me then i think about killing myself, i think of the ways i would do it and then plan my own death....i would never actually do it but it is there in my head every single day..i would never tell a dr or therapist this because i know that they would rip my kids away from me and proberly section me, so its something i have to live with, its a daily regular thought and just wondered if it could be some kind of OCD and if there was anything i could do to stop these thoughts.

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ive had thoughts similar to these before. how i could hurt or kill people then kill myself. i know i would never do it though. there just thoughts but i dream that maybe i could. i plan how i could sometimes in great deal. but i know they're like fantasies that would never happen. i did actually discuss these in brief with my cpn and she didnt seem concerned at all so i guess its probably pretty normal. i was thinking that maybe everyone has thoughts like these and maybe i over react to them or make them out worse than they are. you know like thoughts you dont really share with anyone. therefore if they go undiscussed then we can beleive them abnormal. idk something like. i cant really explain it. grr. but i know what i mean. theres some just thoughts that you dont talk about and maybe these are just that types of thoughts.

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I fully understand what you mean and i can see how it is difficult to explain, but i do get ya, and thank you for replying, i always thought that i was evil in someway for having these thoughts and still wonder why i have them, its all so weird but then again i am so weird x x

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your not evil in any way shape or form. i think its natural in a way. we can live it out in our heads which will provide some gratification rather than actually doing things. i know i think about hurting people who i like (that i make out i hate but i actually dont) who have hurt me in some way or have made me realise bad things about myself. sometimes i think briefly about hurting people who have done nothing wrong. it only becomes a problem if we were actually going to do it. but like you said you know you wont.

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What you have described I'm currently getting treated for, they grind down on me all day everyday.

I've been told they are just obsessional thoughts (part of ocd) and that they will never be acted upon. They can be pretty awful sometimes though can't they! You should tell your therapist, I promise you they are nothing dangerous and you are not going crazy. Nothing but obsessional thoughts. You won't ever act upon them.

This advice sounds really weird but have you tried just letting the thoughts just kind of flow in and flow out, while trying not to get worked up or pay much attention to them? It sounds like stupid advice but I find that once you get the hang of it it really works in getting rid of them. If you want to know anymore let me know, I could try to tell you techniques I've been told by my therapist. Hope this helps!!

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  • 6 months later...

Hiya

I'm so very glad to have read these posts for my fiance made me feel a bit indignant yesterday for I received a letter frm a Scottish MP about a 1200 named petiton I had sent re baning snares in Scotland. I am totally dissociative about humans including supposed loved ones but when it comes to animals I feel too much, so when this git said that they wouldn't ban because it was the best way for this 'sporting enterprise' (& being really low at the mo) I emailed him and said that maybe if his child or grandchild was in (woops, now I'm writing it in the cold light of day maybe it was bad) a car crash and had to be cut out by firemen and then died (oh sugar!!) he would call that a 'sporting enterprise!' It was only something to grab his attention and make him see the similarity but..!

Now I'm thinking that maybe yes, we should keep these thoughts to ourselves but as an outlet maybe write them out fully in a journal as a kind of cathartic release, for 'normies' probably think some of our thoughts are outrageous. I really don't know for sure xx

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yes, this is classic OCD!

And Madmeli, don't feel too bad...I love animals too. I have a (female!) cousin who loves to hunt deer, and one day she was bragging about what a big buck she had shot (and killed :( ).

Now, I do love my cousin, and she's really a very kind person, but that hit a nerve with me, since I do not see the "fun" in killing animals for "sport". So you know what I said to my cousin?

"Too bad the deer couldn't shoot back!!" :o

She looked pretty startled, but I don't recall apologizing. :P

And we're still friends.

So please don't beat yourself up about it--like me, you probably responded impulsively and because snaring (and killing) innocent animals is, IMO, really a cruel and repulsive thing to do. I know you didn't mean what you said, and I expect the MP did too. (Besides, if they're like our own members of Congress, they probably get so much "hate mail" they don't even notice it anymore, lol!)

AND I think that was a nasty way for him to respond anyway!!! :angry:

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As others have already explained this is a classic sympton of OCD.

Like someone already said these are THOUGHTS not actions. It has been proven that people who have these thoughts and are upset by them(as in they dont enjoy them) do NOT act on these thoughts, they are just afraid they might at some stage.

There is a book called the Imp of the mind by Lee Baer which is exactly about this problem, it has helped me a lot. Maybe you can find it somewhere.

Lilly

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