They Can At Least Lie To Me..

[foreverborderline]

When i am OCD about something, when the worry just will not stop I need someone to reassure me, to tell me not to worry and everything will be just fine, why can't they at least lie to me - the obsessive worry just will not stop..

[Tammy]

I'm sorry u have to go through this. My ex was super paranoid about everything...his mind never stopped and my constant reassuring did no good unless I said it about 15 times and was a bit exhausting to say the least...not to mention exhausting for him.....He finaly got something to calm him and it reduced it greatly. I hope u can find access to a dr soon and that things get better dear. tc

[fucktheworld]

I hate it when I am fixated on something, it is exhausting. The mind racing, the worry, the inability to do anything else besides whatever I'm ocding on. I have to tell people sometimes I can't talk about stuff because I'm afraid it will trigger it and then I'll have to ride out the suffering. I wish I knew what to do about it, how to relieve it. All I know is when one ends another is soon to start and some are worse than others. I guess it all depends on what it is with me because I usually have a couple big ones going and then all the constant small ones. My small ones are obsessive routine cleaning, organizing, ED stuff, and sometimes digging in and doing more than the routine cleaning relieves the giant all life consumming ones racing around in my head....

It helps me also to tell someone and get reassurance I'm ok, or it won't happen, or its not true...just someone saying anything comforts me. I'm such a big ass baby about it, like I am walking around terrified of this worry and can't feel safe because of it.

I feel for you, nothing really helps

<_<

[Susanc]

Sorry to hear you are suffering so bad with obsessive thoughts and actions.

Sometimes it's not until you have a giant light bulb moment - where you not only fully understand how irrational the thoughts are but you BELIEVE the irrationality that you can begin to recover. We say flippantly, 'Oh I know its crazy to think like this' but most of the time its just words and not truly understood and believed. Obsessive thoughts in particular will only gain momentum if they are dwelt upon. The more you think, the more you think! Distraction helps but doesn't always mend because the thoughts are still lurking waiting to jump out again.

'Mind chatter' is very consuming and exhausting. I recommend practising living in this moment only ( Read Eckhart Tolle - Power of Now). Meditation is a great way to stop mind chatter - it's difficult at first to concentrate but if you stick at it you will gradually find a state of calm where your thinking lessens and your brain gets peace.

When one thought comes, then comes an avalanche of other thoughts and the worry intensifies. Our memory has developed a chain reaction. It seems like a never ending spiral of thoughts that gather weight and importance.

I believe that seeing the thoughts for what they really are and most importantly believing the bluff of them along with a dedication to finding peace from the mind chatter will take you a long way in finding a resolution.

I am not sure that someone saying everything is ok will help you recover. It may staisfy you at that moment but what happens the next time those thoughts come and no one is around? Eventually its something you have to address.

I do hope this helps

Susanc

[Angel123]

I understand what you are saying and if that really does work for you then thats good as temporary relief.

I know if people tell me that it will be ok etc when it wont i dont believe them. I get angry and blame myself and it plays on my mind and i get really worked up about it.

Its a vicious circle.

Sorry i know its not much help, just my contribution.

Take care

[cerberus730]

:) You're in the right place-- your computer chair. The internet can be a comforting place.

I constantly worry that my negative thoughts will adversely effect the world around me.

I always find the reassurance of others at least a little helpful... but most of the things that I obsess over stem from pretty valid concerns-- (if not likely, then at least possible negative outcomes--) so that makes it really hard because no matter what everyone tells me, my logical thought process eliminates whatever they say.

I'm going to go massively off topic here, but I'm wondering if you guys can relate to some of this:

Some of the things that I worry and obsess over are general concerns-- safety, my family, health, risk, etc. I can't leave the house without checking each room several times, each door several times, washing and filling every pet water and food dish, turning off older lights, turning on specific lights so the house won't be dark, picking up anything that elderly family members could trip on, removing sharp objects from the kitchen counter, locking doors and windows then checking them four times each, closing blinds so no one can look in, and making sure that if someone is home I have already taken out the trash, done most of the dishes and taken care of any other job that they could get hurt doing. I also take precautions to protect "things." I place things up high where they won't be chewed on, take breakables down so that they're safe and make sure the pets are safe by covering any cords and other hazards. (I also touch various items between 4 and 48 times before I leave, sort of praying that they'll be there when I get back and everyone will be safe.

When other people become impatient and say, "COME ON-- THE HOUSE WILL BE FINE! THE PETS WILL BE FINE! EVERYTHING'S FINE!" I know that they're probably right... but it's not a risk I'm willing to take. For me, those rituals are in place to ensure that I've done everything I can to prevent potential problems. If I don't then I worry myself sick.

But others are "objects." I pic things up and keep them for fear that if I don't something bad will happen to them. I believe very deeply that everything has it's own sort of life force or soul, which is just fine and a valid belief, but it does tend to intensify my anxiety-- sometimes it happens with easy stuff like papers, flyers, straws, plastic bags at the grocery store, etc. That's usually ok-- aside from drawing dirty looks from people who wonder why I'm carrying ten coupon books home with me and deeply frustrating my family, the result isn't catastrophic.

Other times though, this happens with things that I love very much to begin with-- like toys/stuffed animals mostly. I'll see one-- or on a "bad day" 3 or 4 or more and think about how adorable they are-- but then I start to notice imperfections in one of them-- (missing an eye, torn, stained, broken,) and I'll worry that if I don't buy it, it will be thrown away. (Abandoned and not loved.) Once again, that tends to be managable-- buying one stuffed animal at Wal Mart isn't going to break the bank. It's when I decide I like another one as well that isn't damaged, but since each one is unique I feel guilty for picking that one over the others and unable to make a decision I try to determine which one's "need me" and which ones will be fine. Usually if I spend enough time rearranging the stuffed animals or whatever they are I can widdle it down to one or two or maybe none at all because I set them up in even numbers and arrange them in ways that will help kids notice them. It's usually when we're in a hurry and other people are pressuring me and rushing me that I become distraught and incapable of making decisions and have to buy several different stuffed animals or other things so that I won't have to decide. We don't have much money so that's never really a positive outcome, even if it does temporarily alleviate my stress-- because as much as I love whatever I bought and as happy as it could potentially make me, I'm left feeling awful because:

A) My parents are mad at me.

It cost more than I'd intended to spend.

C) I'm worried about the other ones at the store.

Worse yet, usually the fact that I took so long deciding what to do has made other people very angry with me and by the time I'm through getting yelled at or told "this is a sickness!" "This is awful." "It's just a _________." "It could never matter that much." "Do you know how frustrating this is?"

I'm too sick and guilt ridden to even look at whatever I ended up buying or even picking up for free. Then at home, because my hoarding tendencies upset everyone I immediately run whatever I've brought home to my room so no one has to look at it, then everyone's angry because my room can't be used as a guest room because of all of my various collections. I ultimately end up using most of the broken bits of stuff, wrappers, foil, bottles, cans, papers, etc. to make art work, but life has been so hectic that I rarely find time for art these days-- infact it's been about 9 months since I had time to make anything so nobody believes I'll actually do it.

My hoarding tendencies actually started out fairly mild but have gotten ten times worse every time someone has "helped" or "surprised me" by "cleaning" my room "for me." Please if you know any hoarders, DON'T EVER DO THIS. I know that you mean well and you're taking time out of your schedule to do something that seems helpful, but it's not. A lot of people go and clear a hoarder's space out when they're not home or when they are home, paralyzed with fear and distress cowaring in a corner and then say, "isn't this better? Now you don't have to do it!"

The fact is that the shock of losing all of that stuff is horribly painful, traumatic and frightening. You feel terrified and guilt ridden, violated and hurt. It sends every kind of obsessive compusive impulse you have into hyperdrive-- you either frantically try to recover the stuff, or if it's too late, sink into a devastating, painful, lonely agonizing depression. -- Eventually the hoarding becomes a million times worse because you're trying to fill the empty space left by the things you've lost and the deep feeling of betrayal and sadness you get from coping with the fact that you love the person or persons who've made you feel this way and it's lonely realizing that nobody understands this part of you.

My hoarding stems from a number of things including the fact that I become sick and anxious when I try to make decisions and I freeze if I have to make them quickly. Usually I end up letting other people or circumstances decide for me and then I can be sick, anxious and depressed for days after that depending on the outcome. If the outcome of a situation was bad, that feeling can last for months. I feel as if dismissing my regrets and forgiving myself would be letting myself off easy a lot of the time because ultimately my mistakes and shortcoming have been at least part of the cause for almost every problem I've had. Over-all my family and friends have been very supportive, helping me store things, taking me back to get things that I'm obsessively worrying over; paying for things-- and not turning completely on me even when they are angry and obviously feel that I'm completely insane.

But no matter how everyone tries to tell me that the house will be fine, everyone is fine, the stuff will be fine-- that stuffed snake won't be thrown out, the goodwill would never throw a good couch away because it's torn, (but they do.) I'm sure that animal will be fine, the bug will be fine, etc. It doesn't make too big a difference. Mostly it just helps that they're being supportive but unfortunately for me I know a lot about the way of things and I do tend to be right about some things-- and I still feel I should worry about everything-- that's ok for the most part, that's just part of caring.

Does anyone else have sentimentally, emotionally based OCD? Does anyone else but me think that there's something good in it? Maybe we just pick up on things that other people don't? I mean, of course we all "know" that not touching the book case 5 times and locking the door 3 times won't be the end of civilization as we know it, but maybe there is some bigger reason why it helps us to do these things?

When you need reassurance, sometimes it helps to do just what you're doing-- go online-- there are a lot of other people who feel what you're feeling, including me. I worry endlessly about life, loss, disaster, cruelty, and some of the harsh ands bitter truths of the wiorld and I sincerely mourn for the safe feeling we could get from reassurance when we were children. When someone could hug you and say it was fine and it kind of was for a little while. For now, the closesty thing to that is to have faith-- faith in the goodness of the the world, the workings of nature, god and/or other higher powers and the fact that you're not alone. :)