sundries Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Ode to the Pillocks of PsychiatryI went to the crisis team and said.‘ Im suicidal. I need a hospital bed’The crisis team said to me,‘try a warm bath and a hot cup of tea’I tried again. I said to them,‘I don’t need hot tea or a chat with a friend’They looked annoyed and said to me,‘that is your responsbility’I said to them ‘I feel at a loss,I really can’t cope. Please don’t be cross’They rolled thier eyes and said (with a bored sigh)‘Its up to you. You have to try’I said to them, now I was crying.‘I try so hard I really am trying,But sometimes I need a handPlease, won’t you understand?’ I spoke through the tears, spoke of my fears‘ Im scared Im going to die’Ive tried and Ive tried. Ive tried for yearsPlease help me. Dont let me die.‘Its not our problem’ they said to me‘You have a borderline personality’And nothing we do will help you cope,For people like you, there is no hope.’'THat may be true' I said as I walked to the doorI cannot cope, there may be no hopeBut one things for sure, I guess I knew it beforeThe crisis team is an utter joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 :hug2: i know how you feel hunxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixie Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Oh Sun, I can't beieve they said that to you!!! No wonder you are upset.I can feel your frustration here, I hope that things can be dealt with here and these staff can be put right!Keep safeLoveDixie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Response to Ode to The Pillocks of Psychiatry.We are fuckwitsCan't you seeWe have no skillsRegarding psychiatryWe want to restWe have no clueWe are at a lossRegarding youAnd all patientsSent our wayWe try as fastTo send awayWe have issuesPower tripsWe want teaAnd biscuitsWe took this roleCos we are twitsAnd noWe do not give a shit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted November 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 BRILLIANT I LOVE ITResponse to Ode to The Pillocks of Psychiatry.We are fuckwitsCan't you seeWe have no skillsRegarding psychiatryWe want to restWe have no clueWe are at a lossReagrading youAnd all patientsSent our wayWe try as fastTo send awayWe have issuesPower tripsWe want teaAnd biscuitsWe took this roleCos we are twitsAnd noWe do not give a shit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixie Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 LMAO Fairy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopyfruit Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 ODE TO SUNDRIES:mental health teams ..all the samewant us all to play their stupid gameif we do not fit their mouldthey call us trouble for being so boldsundries my dear dear friendtell them to shove it......up there rear end!you are a wonderful person with lots to givegive me their number I 'll give them a biff(in the nose!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 ROFL it would take everything i had not to show those to the crisis team (if they still saw me as fit to treat that is ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixie Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Please please please take these to them!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted November 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 I think i will emaikl it to pals and ask them to pass it along lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Oh please send it, it would be so funny. And EVERYONE reading, please add an ode! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 So you're having problems?Well now we're hereto fix you're life up(ignore our sneer)It's not that we're betteror more equippedIt's just that we're paidto do jack shitIt isn't easyto do what we doOur arses get sorefrom the fence sitting we doThe nodding gets tiresomeour necks become sorePretending to do thingsand get you out the doorWe said we could help youbut its all a charadeto bump up our paychecksoh we've got it madebut you don't feel any better?oh no what a shamehere is the exitlest you tarnish our namewe worked 'hard' for our bonusand can't have it ruinedour failure may be spottedand our ability questionedwe'll say our goodbyes nowwe know you'll be backbut we'll blame your 'condition'and forget that we're crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixie Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Thoughts of the bored CMHTTo patients of our crisis teamWe find your problems unextremeWe have no time to hear you speakCos we're too busy with our weekOther things are much more funLike thinking of a coke and rumOr planning how to get a shagYour problems here are just a dragAlas we know we cannot doA job where we must help youWe know we should at least but tryBut it's better, we know, to walk on byA cup of tea, a friend, a chatWhat's better for suicide thoughts than thatWhat's wrong with you to never seeThat nothing will work more than advice from me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 This is so funny, and good for us also. To vent our frustrations artistically! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted November 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 oh sundriesI just wanted to say your poem is poetic genius. one day you will be poet laureate and they will trace back the influence on your poetic development (ie yorkieegal) and they will write reams and reams of gcse poetry analysis on it.oh sundries it is such a priviledge to know you. you truly do follow the best advice people give to a budding poet...write from the heart write what you know about.i like the rhythm and rhyme youve got going in the poem. i also like some of the repetition to emphasise points in it. i like the change of beat iin the final and two before final stanzas. I dont know anythign else about what to say about poems but it really spoke to me and i think you should keep up the good work and im sure one day soon you will write your third ever poem.dixie, rael your poems were pretty damn good too, especially since you wrote htem in about 4 minutes. FAiry yours was ok too, same goes for you loops (like i dID say in chat)lol loops fairy, just teasing. i loved yours fairy cos hilarious and nice rhythm, loops cos u soo loyal! and what u say soo true and i love poems that rhyme.do u mind if i change last line to 'forget about them. youve got a life to live'? (or maybe fuck them lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopyfruit Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 OI SUN...WHAT ABOUT MY EFFORT?????? GONNA SULK NOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted November 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 I am incredibly pretty,Its just a bit of a pitythat its hidden under all my fat - - - cos underneath im where its at!But Ive lost two stone in only a yearso put your hands together and give us a cheer! haha attempt at being slightly more positive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkiegal73 Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Sundries and Fairy,sitting in a tree,writing complaint letters to the CMHT.Up walks the GP,Come to save the day.But Fairy lets rip and he soon runs away.Next it's the social worker,smelling of quorn.Sundries gives him what for, he goes away forlorn.Here comes the crisis nurse,Acting like a twat,Climbs up the wrong tree and sections Fairy's cat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackers Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Oh dear, you guys, you've just brightened up my day!If i can find my satirical thinking cap i may contribute later onxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 They section meHuh what a cheekThey have bird brainsCheep cheep cheepI will win, they will loseSo very stupid, easily confusedLazy lumps of human beingSee me coming, they start fleeing!Section SnapI don't think soThey can't be arsedAnd oh so slow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted November 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Fairy is a riotNever shuts up, never quietShe gives you lip,She's prone to whip!!!Keeps you up all night -Tries to make you fight.Secretly she's sweet as a dove.She's a brilliant mate, a person you love;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dixie Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Section me I hear you say?Why would you want to ruin your dayYou'd have to get up off your arseAnd do some work in this hospital farceYou said I am not safe aloneYou diagnosed me on the phoneYou tried prescribing tea and bathYou know that really is a laughAnd now you dumb ass you've work to doCos in hospital I am now with youStupid you to give yourself more jobsWhen you could have been sat stuffing your gobs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Fairy mad, I don't think soShe see's the truthAnd goes, go goWith her mouth in fourth gearShe obliterates the rubbish here!LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkiegal73 Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 They seek her hereThey seek her thereThey seek that Fairy everywhereShe's not on the wardOr in the bathOr running down the garden path.She's not in the smoke roomOr making tea,Or shagging the student behind the settee.She's not basket weaving,or punching a nurse.She's not eating dinner, or we'd hear her curse.We're not all that worried,We know she'll be safe.But we've warned Mr Kyle to look out just in case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Jeremy, Jeremy, Set me straight I beg of theeI am a chavJust like youSocial problems shining throughOh Jeremy, JeremyShout me in to lineI will lay myself full bareTo hear your truth divine!I scrape my hair back tightlyI wear a jogging suitI eff and blind sublimlyI will not give a hootTake my family secretsAir them and dismissJust anything JeremyTo be with you and kiss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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