Me & My Son

[sassysuzy]

Hi all 1st of all an introduction

My name is Suzy i am 35 years old and my son , 14 years old, suffers with OCD... He has had it for 2 years now and really i am looking for other sufferers opinions , points of view and advice...

I shall try and explain ....

My boy is 14 and having a hard time with school and the medical profession...

He takes sertraline 25mg 5 days a week except on the weekends ... Now it was hard enough to convince him to take it 5 days a week due to his contamination fear... I also have to point out that i am not the kind of person who would force my son to take his medication ... I look at as its his illness he needs to be ready to deal with it and face it in his own way....

His key worker and the psychiatrist have told me that i should force my son to take his medication on the weekends and i wont do this ... My reasons for not doing this , are like i said, its his illness , not mine and he has to learn to deal with it his way also due to his contamination fear if he was forced to take it he would make himself throw up to get rid of said contamination. Also if i force him against his will i fear he wont take it during the week....

So are there any teen sufferers or any adults who think i should force him to take his meds ? How would you feel about the situation ?

Did you have any help from your supposed support network?

Do you really think that there is adequate support out there ?

Also my son refuses to talk to the medical people, he speaks to his GP my family , friends ect, he just has a problem with those in the profession...

He said he doesnt trust them and he doesnt like the people that he is working with , hence he hasnt tried CBT...As we havent found anyone that he is willing to work with...

Me and my son have a fantastic relationship and can talk about anything, he just doesnt want to talk to the 'pros' ...

Its like he doesnt fit their criteria and its their way or no way ... How can anyone force an adolescent to speak to the pros ?

Anyone else have a bad experience with this , similar to mine?

What did you do ?

Thank you

[ann51]

As an OCD sufferer myself, I can understand the fears associated with it. Adolescents in particular, it seems to me, have a hard time accepting that they're ill and need help. Not to mention they're trying to become more independent, which could be a factor in the problems he's having with the profession. I don't know where you live, but here in the States, there is an organization called the OC Foundation (ocfoundation.org). I do believe I just heard of such an organization in the UK as well, if that's where you are. I would look into such an organization, contact them for help and advice. Let us know how things go.

[sassysuzy]

Hi , Thank you for your reply..

I agree a lot of it is down his age i think ... The people we work with are very patronising towards him , they talk down to him like he is a child ... Hes not a child... Yes there is an OCD foundation website here in the UK i think you are right as well .. I may e-mail them and ask for advice...

Again thanks for the reply :)

[emmie18]

Hello,

I do not suffer with OCD, but i am 18 and this is how i would take the situaton.

I am going on meds within the next couple of weeks and if my mum was told to force me to take them, i would be angry, and hurt that she felt she has to force me. I would also ruin our relationship.

Going back to your son. It might ruin the relationship between you two as well. It might make him worse.

On the other hand though, if the Doctor thinks he should be taking it at the weekends he might have a point. Does he get worse at the weekends or uncontrolable for him? If not then i would think you re already doing the right thing.

Take Care both of you

Emmie

x

[PaddyM]

Im a teenager with OCD. When I was first diagnosed I had reached breaking point. My days were full of compulsions and rituals, physically and emotionalyl drained. My relationship with my Mum, which had been good, was awful. We would row, she would get angry, which in retrospect she labels as "frustration" because I was so ill. You sound so supportive and understanding in your approach. My Mum, because of lack of education and ignorance, didnt really understand and the whole illness is still an unspoken tension between us. With CBT and sertraline my obsessions did get better- but I had to want it. If your son is non-compliant it wont work at all. Like you say, its his decision and any attempt at enforcing something will be sure to cause a rift between you two. Instead, you could try persuading him? Keep reminding him of the benefits?

OCD is awful. And the frustrating thing is- life doesnt need to stay that way! Things CAN change. Granted, its not always easy. But worst comes to worst, your son goes into CBT. He hates it. Has a bad experience. He can drop out at any point. He can move on, find a new team etc. Lots of support out there for OCD. Hope this helps slightly?

[sassysuzy]

Im a teenager with OCD. When I was first diagnosed I had reached breaking point. My days were full of compulsions and rituals, physically and emotionalyl drained. My relationship with my Mum, which had been good, was awful. We would row, she would get angry, which in retrospect she labels as "frustration" because I was so ill. You sound so supportive and understanding in your approach. My Mum, because of lack of education and ignorance, didnt really understand and the whole illness is still an unspoken tension between us. With CBT and sertraline my obsessions did get better- but I had to want it. If your son is non-compliant it wont work at all. Like you say, its his decision and any attempt at enforcing something will be sure to cause a rift between you two. Instead, you could try persuading him? Keep reminding him of the benefits?

OCD is awful. And the frustrating thing is- life doesnt need to stay that way! Things CAN change. Granted, its not always easy. But worst comes to worst, your son goes into CBT. He hates it. Has a bad experience. He can drop out at any point. He can move on, find a new team etc. Lots of support out there for OCD. Hope this helps slightly?

Thank u so much for your reply ... He has told me that he does want the help and the support but he is afraid... He scared that he wont be himself still and hes scared of the actual treatment ... We are working through this and i am trying to explain the benefits but like u said until he is ready to face things head on theres not an awful lot i can do ...

You really have been helpful so again thank u so much your input is so important to me as i am not a sufferer myself no matter how hard i try i can not know what he is going through ... So again thank you :)

[sassysuzy]

Hello,

I do not suffer with OCD, but i am 18 and this is how i would take the situaton.

I am going on meds within the next couple of weeks and if my mum was told to force me to take them, i would be angry, and hurt that she felt she has to force me. I would also ruin our relationship.

Going back to your son. It might ruin the relationship between you two as well. It might make him worse.

On the other hand though, if the Doctor thinks he should be taking it at the weekends he might have a point. Does he get worse at the weekends or uncontrolable for him? If not then i would think you re already doing the right thing.

Take Care both of you

Emmie

x

Thank you for your input Emmie and no hes more chilled at the weekend as a lot of his anxieties are school related... Any input is gratefully recieved , again Thank You :)