My Sister

[qwerty1]

Arrrggggghhhh my younger sister has OCD and it is driving my crazy!! I still live at home and most evenings I come home from work and she will come into my room and just sit there either watching TV or in a depressed mood. She said I am the main one in the family that she feels comfortable talking to, thats great but its alot of pressure for me...I have my own mental health issues and also am not well physically and I am struggling to take on her problems to the extent that I feel I am. I feel a responsibility to her, and judging by my own background of mistakes and issues I am terrified of her turning out like me and so I will constantly talk to and motivate her...I buy her things, tidy her room for her, run her baths, take her out to chat, I know she really appreciates it deep down but sometimes she seems to take it all for granted and it never really seems to have any benefit, she is just not motivated enough and so it ends up with me being completely irritated with her and blaming her for not respecting the things I do for her and I moan at her for not doing the things she should be - such as tidying her room, having a bath, washing her hair - all the things that a normal 14 should do (well...maybe not the room tidying!!) Its a vicious circle because then she feels guilty and so gets depressed etc. The weird thing is sometimes its almost as if I'm trying to find things to moan at her for...although I'm not sure why...its wrong.

She is currently having regular counselling which seems to be helping her but its hard for other people in the meantime.

The other thing is - I was abused physically and sexually by my older brother growing up and I know that he was physical with her on some occasions, but I have my suspicions that some sexual abuse may have gone on too. I wasn't aware that she had much recollection of being hit etc but when my brother was down recently she admitted she felt scared to ask him for anything incase he got angry, and she acted very on edge when she was around him.

Her main OCD issues are worrying about what other people think of her and will do to her, eg. if she watches the news she will become depressed and her OCD symptoms with worsen. Basically she is worried about ANYTHING bad happening either elsewhere in the world or to someone she knows. She told me a few weeks ago that her worst ever feelings connected with OCD are that of rape and anything of a sexual nature. I am not saying she experienced anything at all to that extent but could her OCD possibly be a connection to the physical abuse and possible sexual abuse?

[GateKeeper_]

OCD can stem from abuse, yes... but are you sure she has OCD? if she had been abused when little its most likely PTSD. which can grow into OCD, agoraphobia, social anxiety etc.

if she had some friends that are nice to her it would her her cope and not be so nervous and worried.

you could always take her to get help on the side in private although its probably expensive unless you get somekindof disability help or government funds or something....

sorry cant help much.

its best to tackle these issues ASAP although it can be pretty rough...

[qwerty1]

OCD can stem from abuse, yes... but are you sure she has OCD? if she had been abused when little its most likely PTSD. which can grow into OCD, agoraphobia, social anxiety etc.

if she had some friends that are nice to her it would her her cope and not be so nervous and worried.

you could always take her to get help on the side in private although its probably expensive unless you get somekindof disability help or government funds or something....

sorry cant help much.

its best to tackle these issues ASAP although it can be pretty rough...

Thankyou for your reply, yes she has been diagnosed with OCD.However as far as I'm aware she hasn't mentioned to her counsellor about any abuse that went on in the family.

She does have good friends but she hasn't told them what is wrong with her as she is too embarassed. Although she has said they have noticed theres something going on. And she does struggle with social situations which is hard for her too.