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Well Thats It Then -


walker

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Walker

i can never quite work out what it is that you want from therapy. Are you ready for change?

When I was young i had bulimia. I used to go on ultra strict diets (eg 250 cals per day) but would then not be able to keep this up and then I would binge. When I first went to see a therapist I wanted him to fix it that I would not break- I would be able to keep up this crazy diet. Of course, he said he could not help me unless i agreed to be a normal weight.

I had to agree to change. He could not and would not 'fix my broken toy.'

Can therapy do what you want it to?

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what else can i do weds, what else is there

its not just me

many mnay people here have eherapy and they still sstuck

sorry

changing the essence of your being is tnot easy

hard enouhg at 24 not 44

but am going to try

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they refused whic damages me moere as it judges me an says she is not ill

am going private

Well you know my view - I think that could be the best thing you ever decided to do. What type do you think you will go for? It may be easier to find local psychodynamic people, but you know my opinions on schema (wont repeat em as youre prolly sick of hearing it). Does the effexor help anough to get you on a train, if needs be? By the way - Effexor is considered a pretty heavy duty anti-depressant. If you are on that, then no way do they think youre faking it ...

Considering youve been through the mill, I would make sure you tell any potential therapist exactly whats happend with the NHS and why they said CBT wasnt for you, and although this might sound odd - why YOU think you struggle in therapy. Its best to get all your worries about how you think you will scupper therapy out up front, that way you arent waiting for him / her to "discover your secret". I would call this secret "massive self invalidation"! Maybe go for a lady this time too?

Check quallies, check experience with PD's. Ask for a 'settling in phase' where you get to see if you actually like them - most good therapists will suggest this themself, but its worth noting. Ask about contact outside of session and 'crises'.

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they refused whic damages me moere as it judges me an says she is not ill

am going private

Well you know my view - I think that could be the best thing you ever decided to do. What type do you think you will go for? It may be easier to find local psychodynamic people, but you know my opinions on schema (wont repeat em as youre prolly sick of hearing it). Does the effexor help anough to get you on a train, if needs be? By the way - Effexor is considered a pretty heavy duty anti-depressant. If you are on that, then no way do they think youre faking it ...

Considering youve been through the mill, I would make sure you tell any potential therapist exactly whats happend with the NHS and why they said CBT wasnt for you, and although this might sound odd - why YOU think you struggle in therapy. Its best to get all your worries about how you think you will scupper therapy out up front, that way you arent waiting for him / her to "discover your secret". I would call this secret "massive self invalidation"! Maybe go for a lady this time too?

Check quallies, check experience with PD's. Ask for a 'settling in phase' where you get to see if you actually like them - most good therapists will suggest this themself, but its worth noting. Ask about contact outside of session and 'crises'.

No AD's ross, stopped efexor a year ago

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thanks jinks, i know you are hurting,,

it means a lot

Ross

i will do that, when i have the guts to call her

am still worried about the cost, dont have the money atm, apart from inc benefit, and having to save that as school will be taking most of it in fees

thanks so much for replying

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what else can i do weds, what else is there

ts not just me

many mnay people here have eherapy and they still sstuck

sorry

changing the essence of your being is tnot easy

hard enouhg at 24 not 44

but am going to try

I take your point Walker. Best wishes. Its hard to accept that the NHS certainly does not go on level of need of even who can be helped and who can't. It all seems to come down to the individual psychiatrists and who is running the psychology depts. Its all down to luck. My old pdoc here would not help me when I was screaming for help in every way possible, my new one has been fantastic. Don't define your level of need on what they are going to offer. It has very little to do with it.

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Hi Missie Walkie T

If the psychoanalytic one is NHS then I can understand the appeal of that. Perhaps give it a try, and if feelings of invalidation do begin to come up if s/he is using drive theory, then at least you will know why that is. They may not actually use DT. If its free, give it a go. If it works, great, if you begin to feel invalidated, then you are in a position to rethink and perhaps finances will be difrferent by then.

If you are being expected to pay for the psychoanalytic, then I would say that you have a choice and may find it better to seek out psychodynamic therapy, ideally inner child type approach :) That is very similar to the 'mode' approach of schema, and I know you liked the idea of "Little T".

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now i am scared

am paying

NO NHS at all

shit i bloody hate this life

why is it all so hard

everything i do is wrong

i m sorry

i dont want to do the worng thing i am trying to do the right thing but it all goes worng i am sorry

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now i am scared

am paying

NO NHS at all

shit i bloody hate this life

why is it all so hard

everything i do is wrong

i m sorry

i dont want to do the worng thing i am trying to do the right thing but it all goes worng i am sorry

I know tis hard when youre feeling overwhelmed. Choice feels like a horrible mountain to climb - but if you are paying, then just like if you were buying a car, you have choice. It hasnt gone wrong, you are just being given a choice. If you trust in the recommendation you have been given, then take it, it may be slightly cheaper than other options. You dont have to do what other people tell you - if you want to try this person out, then do it. Choice will always be there - now that you are outside of NHS, you have the power of choice, you have the power to direct your therapy more. You are not beholding to someones caseload or supervisor.

Why not look around your area and make a list of all the different therapists and therapy types that are available, and then send a stock email to each? You can say how you are feeling, and that invalidation is a big thing for you too. On top of that there are offical bodies for therapists you might contact - I belive there is one for psychodynamic folks as well as many others. Now that you are outside NHS you are free to take in other peoples views and opinions.

This may not be possible for you, but the best therapist I ever had (aside from my current one) came as a result of going for a consultation with a psychiatrist at the Priory Hospital, one near Essex. He put me in touch with my first private, and very good, therapist. You have lots of options now and there is less pressure to 'have to fit' what the NHS pushes on you.

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no ross choic is bad

cant do choicse it is all crashing round me

i wnat to run but i cant

i am just a failed peerrson

i dont want choicess

i knwo yuo care and want to help but i cant tdo this

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no ross choic is bad

cant do choicse it is all crashing round me

i wnat to run but i cant

i am just a failed peerrson

i dont want choicess

i knwo yuo care and want to help but i cant tdo this

Perhaps simply having someone there to listen, support and guide is what you most need? I say go for it with the one you have recommended.

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finally spoke to her, today

just briefly

she wants to meet

so I am going next mon morning

havent told hub

so more secrets, and more lies

dont know if this is right, but its all I can do

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All trusts should be following NICE guidelines now.

They state that CBT shoud be used for depression of all severities and for BPD.

Submit a complaint saying you are not been treated under NICE - you will probabaly get an unhelpful answer, but then go to the Healthcare Commission and complain you ahve n ot been treated under NICE guidelines - everyone I know who has done this has won their case.

http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/index.jsp?...opic&o=7281

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thanks for that

but tbh I couldnt handle it

my head is always telling me i am wrong, and it is hard enough fighting that, without going public

whenever they say no, i generally say ok, and run

I did go to PALS. in oct - dec, to sort out a meeting with cpn

but i knew where it would end anyway - and the cmhc just confirmed what my head tells me

but i will look at the link

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ok

Saw her

New Therapist

not sure

just dont know

she seemed nice and heard me

just stupid things really

i didnt like her house, it was too clean and perfect and controlled inside

i had to go upstairs and turn right which is what i had to do with a T years ago, who was ok but no warm and loving

too controlled

but she was nice and i think highly skilled

but i wantd to feel different

i wanted it to feel - YES THIS IS IT - and it doesnt

shit I dont know

also, had to lie to hub about where I was going

and my head is telling me i am stupid and bad and making a fuss and shouldnt be doing this and its a waste of money and i will give up anyway cos i always give up on everything

F*CK IT

why the hell didnt I just wipe myself out in the summer

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Well, Walker, I don't know you, but my quick reply to your last question is this:

Perhaps maybe you have hung in there for very good reasons... including your kids! When someone takes their own life, I believe it is the living who are hurt the most. I know that you must love your children, and hopefully that means you can hang in there for their sakes, if not for your own.

I do know that therapy is hard, but try to look at it as better than not trying, rather than a perfect solution. If you set unrealistic goals and expectations, you will inevitably be let down. If you look at your post again, you did say that you thought she was nice and probably skilled. Just go with that right now.

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yeah

maybe

i think i just wanted someone warm and homely and strong

and she is sort of thin and controlled and

i dont know

i

hell i dont know

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