wednesday Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Fingers crossed.............She sounds good...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Fingers crossed.............She sounds good......Hi WalkerWednesday is right, she does sound good, REALLY good Huggie almost I know you dismiss your experiences, but you do have childhood / teen trauma to deal with, you just tell yourself its nothing, and it sounds like she can see that. Lets not get into a debate about whether it is or isnt trauma, just go to her and see what happens.Can you get an oyster card? Mabbe there is a bus route thats cheaper? £60 is a very good rate for private therapy, and she sounds super good. She has picked up that you need validation and soothing ALREADY, and that is great. Dealing with the relationship you have with her - whether she is younger, smart etc - will actually be part of your recovery. Deveoping a relationship with her will be task 1, and it may take some time. For me, I have only just started trusting my T properly after a year - but for folks like us, its just par for the course. Go see her, and try to think about whether or not you could trust her, open up to her and whether she is able to see things from your point of view and validate you. Also find out if she uses the mode approach with schema as this will really help you lots. I would imagine that if she deals with trauma that she will, and most trauma therapists will be aware of the masks and 'faces' that people put on.My T does EMDR as well, so she may even be from the same 'school' of thought as mine. Hope so! Its a huggie school :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 we have since exchanged several emails and so far she has not failed mewhen i poured out great long appologies for my existence she said it is ok, she said she doesnt think i am using herI dont knowShe sounds so niceshe has been so kind this past weekbutshe charges £60 and the train will cost about £10andit will mean travelling alone on the train - but it IS only 30 minsbut now i have NO salary at allI have discussed paying for therapy with my counsellor and with my wife.What cost do you put on happiness?Also, there can be a financial cost to unhappiness. Addictions cost money. Unemployment is financially ruinous.Good luck with whatever you decide, walker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 i was a little confused, because she said something about if we meet the first thing she would do is create a model - she gave it a name but i had no ideashe sounds dead smartshe said it was to show where we are going and something about structure or safety for me and for heri didnt get itat allit worried me abitany mention of future makes me go all weak and scared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Hee yes she does sound a bit like my T! Thats a good thing I think.Umm I think she was prolly talking about the therapetuic model or case conceptualisation - its really a sketch of what seems to be the problem, how can we help it, and what are likely to be the main challenges. The thing with personality disorders is that relationship boundaries are blurred and so limits on how it will function need to be set. This sounds worrying, but actually makes things much smoother. You may even find that it gives you a sense of structure that you have been needing all your life, because its structure on a base of caring and acceptance, rather than "you will do what I say". It improves the relationship and helps you to redefine the boundaries in your own life and get what you need in healthy ways.Take a peek at page 322 of your Schema Practitioners guide and you will see some of the rationale behind it in BPD, and page 178 a more general view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 you know what, Ross sometimesI JUST LOVE YOU NOT A GRAIN OF OFFENSE INTENDED THERE Oh dear, opened my big mouth againsorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 you know what, Ross sometimesI JUST LOVE YOU NOT A GRAIN OF OFFENSE INTENDED THERE Oh dear, opened my big mouth againsorryNone taken ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Ohand she's scottish, too - sounds like mrs Doubtfireso i just cant get visions of Robin Williams and burning foam breasts out of my head Hmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Ohand she's scottish, too - sounds like mrs Doubtfireso i just cant get visions of Robin Williams and burning foam breasts out of my head HmmmmmmLolMy one is scottish too That would be cuz I live in Scotland tho, whichmakes yours being a scottie even more cool. Whooo Yours sounds like she might be from Edinburgh if she sounds like Mrs Doubtfire. Im all excited for you and stuff :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel123 Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Good luck with whatever you decide walker.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
profound1 Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Walker,I have just read through this thread and feel for you, it is so difficult starting afresh with a new therapist and as you already know it takes a while to get to feel you can trust and be 'yourself'. (Well I'm not sure who I am but lets say being whoever you are at the time!!).I hope you manage to work it out and get a good therapeutic relationship going, you are worth it and deserve a break.Take careP1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 this therapist sounds nice and she definitely seems to have grasped some of the thing you need like reassurance and stuff. and if you meet her then maybe that funny image will help relieve the stress a little, give you something else to focus on.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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