AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Lol I'm traditional and stodgy though. I wish I had gotten a white wedding with a family that cared about me to celebrate with me and the amazing guy to spend the rest of my life with! O well, I have two amazing daughters and we can make our own amazing family! You are right Roses I just need to move on... I just wish I could figure out how or what to do so that I can. Do you have any tips that helped you get over your miscarriage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 O yeah in the amazingly beautiful church with its stained glass windows and wooden pews and candles...and that churches didn't give me panic attacks and that priests didn't creep me out! Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 i just wantto reply to roses question of stregnth ithink its both and when ive had all i can handl i pray for grace as for the wedding why not throw a celeration for ur family and inite everonr who says u cant start a new trend have pics of kids invite whole family culd be load of fun and no stupiman in way lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 You don't nec. have to pray to God babe. Persaonlly I find Goddess of the Moon better. (That's the hippy part). To move on from miscarriage not sure. See my post "To my beautiful daughter Jasmine". Guess the birth of subsequent babbies helped. Don't know if u ever get over it or just learn to live with it, like any bereavement. To get over it would make me feel I somehow wasn't being faithful to her memory. Is part of life's rich tapestry. If we understand it we can live with it. Acceptance is the key I think. Accept is just one of those things. Happens as lot and is always someone worse off than you. My friend at ante-natal group - her hubbie lieft her at 8 mths. She miscarried but had to give birth to dead baby. Was 6mths in mental hospital. Sorry, hope I am helping. Tell me to shut it if I'm not. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Lol dont worry you are helping. I guess I am more frustrated that no one else saw him as a person but me. And I never got to hold him, and he never got to smile or walk or say mama. And I am the only one who cares. And it hurts and I am so sick of always hurting. But you are very right. He is part of my life and he did help make me who I am now. And there are always other suffering more. Thank you both for being so nice all the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 On a funny note I just bitched about a stupid assessment thing I took once that was totally pointless. And that made me happy, although I feel bad for whoever's post I hijacked. Hmmm I'd rather be happy, so I will hope it doesn't bother them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I'm sure it'll be fine. So how old ur 2? Mine 8 (nearly 9) boy and 5 girl. She just got up and singing like an angel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I have a three year old and a one year old! They both just had their birthdays! I am enjoying mine being small but I also can't wait to see how they grow up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 maybe u can write letters to ur baby anytime u feel sad about it and tell him how u fel or how what ud like to hvedne with him and keep a speoal box for them hope that helpsxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Thats a pretty good idea jades. I think I will try that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 3 and 1 is nice. Both girls? Birthdays being close is fun. We have hubbie 16 Dec, daughter 23 Dec then Xmas! Fun, fun, fun! I miss the noises they make when they are babies but I love the age they are at now. He is just into gelling his hair and wearing black and listening to Metallica!!! She is into High School Musical/Camp Rock and just singing all the time it's great! Their little characters are so cool and I enjoy seeing them just being themselves. I always wanted lots of children but am now glad have my little handbag back with no nappies. You'll think of this conversation in a few years time and laugh at that comment! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Lol. Yep I want loads more kids, but I am trying to focus on uni first. Not sure how that will go, otherwise I want to own a house and have more room first. I love babies though... diapers suck, but their first smile, their first words, when they start to walk, when they begin to talk! Always makes me have a lot more faith in the goodness in this world! I love watching my one year old toddle about, although she like toddles on speed she goes as fast as her little legs can move and is always climbing everything. Lol, lots of mess but also lots of fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 O my just saw the time... the little girls will be up in a couple of hours, so I better get try to get some sleep! Thanks for talking to me tonight you two. I feel better actually, which is a wonderful feeling to have! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Sweet dreams xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Loved your poem....hope you feel better now you have wrote itxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 really liked the poem, sorry that you went through this but you are way better than them, sometimes i feel like i have forgiven certain people, then it all comes back again its not easy to do. take your time and things may not go away but they can fade enough that we can live with them.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Loved your poem....hope you feel better now you have wrote itxxxThanks daisy! Reading your poem just made me feel soooo upset, but writing and talking to jades and roses helped and I feel way better. So really thanks to you for giving me something that made me think about it instead of just ignoring it all the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 really liked the poem, sorry that you went through this but you are way better than them, sometimes i feel like i have forgiven certain people, then it all comes back again its not easy to do. take your time and things may not go away but they can fade enough that we can live with them.xxxThanks you so much Rael. You summed up exactly what I was going through, its nice to know that its not just me! Finally I am starting to feel better about it, I think I just needed to actually think about it and let some of my emotions out instead of bottling them all up. It does kinda make me question about the forgiveness though, since I am still really upset, does that mean I really didn't forgive them? I had honestly thought I had though, so I suppose its not something to dwell on too much, but esp with my friend I really need to either actually forgive her and help her with her son, or else explain to her that I cant. I'm not sure if I can totally get over it by myself, but I am hoping to start seeing a therapist/psych again and I'm thinking that would possible to be something to work on with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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