hummm_mabbe Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 wanna see your brush now?lolI shall have to play with my Rubiks cube instead :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prang_out Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 another great thread, thanks. very interesting reading.i have this from my mother, also. i had to emotionally support her from age 6 when dad bounced but whenever i was upset i was told to stop being so childish and grow up. she also uses the rest of the family to shame me in front of about perceived wrongs, in a jokey way, but then just keep repeating it until the labels stuck. she still does it.i sorta believe we are incarnated amongst souls we've been around before, in previous lives. parents, siblings, friends etc all pose different trials, but they can teach us something. 'my mother' is one of the hardest trials of my life, and its an ongoing process... i keep hearing about the inner child thing...think this could help me also, anyone got any recommended reading on that? or links? how does one contact their inner child, or know when to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 another great thread, thanks. very interesting reading.i have this from my mother, also. i had to emotionally support her from age 6 when dad bounced but whenever i was upset i was told to stop being so childish and grow up. she also uses the rest of the family to shame me in front of about perceived wrongs, in a jokey way, but then just keep repeating it until the labels stuck. she still does it.i sorta believe we are incarnated amongst souls we've been around before, in previous lives. parents, siblings, friends etc all pose different trials, but they can teach us something. 'my mother' is one of the hardest trials of my life, and its an ongoing process... i keep hearing about the inner child thing...think this could help me also, anyone got any recommended reading on that? or links? how does one contact their inner child, or know when to?HulloA good book on Inner Child stuff is "Healing the Child Within" by Charles Whitfield.The Inner Child is an obscure concept to get your head around because it is an emotional truth, as opposed to an intellectual thing that can be understood rationally. The Inner Child is the part of us that houses our true self, normally hidden from us in personality disorders. It is the child we were, and the childs emotions that had to be buried. It is the child we were that hurt, felt alone and who wanted to cry but wasnt allowed. Its who we were, and the part of us that lives on. Its the part of us that must be brought out into the open, with all the real feelings, both light and dark, that keep it damaged.Its somethingt hat has to be explored emotionally and really cant be described. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prang_out Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 yes thats sorta what i thought. i have felt it before, but i dont know what to do with it, what to say to her. i suppose one would normally emotionally explore it, via therapy? anyway, thanks for the recommendation. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 Prang Out - there are higher instances of reincarnation (especially amongst family) in Asia and are a lot of books written on the subject stating that children can believe they are someone else or call family members by real names from past family (perhaps a couple of generations ago). Is worth reading up on as is very interesting. There are cases all over the world but for some reason concentrated in Asia. I find it fascinating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prang_out Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 Prang Out - there are higher instances of reincarnation (especially amongst family) in Asia and are a lot of books written on the subject stating that children can believe they are someone else or call family members by real names from past family (perhaps a couple of generations ago). Is worth reading up on as is very interesting. There are cases all over the world but for some reason concentrated in Asia. I find it fascinating.hi there Roses yeah i have read a book or two on it..tis fascinating, isnt it! it is especially common in india and asian sub continent, where they still have laws based around reincarnated family members marrying etc...amazing stuff.oops sorry to go all off topicky in your thread hummm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 oops sorry to go all off topicky in your thread hummm.Lol dont worry, I kinna like it when that happens, I feel like I have inspired deep thinking Prolly nothing to do with me at all really but it lets me feel special for a bit I realised something today. Really, this post is for my mum:I punish myself for every word, deed and thought that issues from me. Why? Because that was what happened when I was little. For me there was no such thing as a 'childs mistake' - there were only symptoms of deep, unfixable flaws that I was personally responsible for. Rather than being given the carrot of understanding, forgiveness and support, I was given the stick of shame - the punishment of criticism, which linked this most recent error with an ongoing fundamental shitness which i personally, as a bad child, had chosen to pursue.If only I could just stop being so flawed then mummy would not have to shame me. Mummy would not have to punish me if ONLY I would stop making these terrible mistakes. I coukdnt understand why it was ok for other kids to fuck up, I only knew that for me it was banned.And now, thats what I do to myself. Every mistake I make (and for me, EVERYTHING I do is a mistake) is an ongoing evidence of my self-chosen path of defectiveness, that if only I bucked my ideas up I wouldnt have to be punished any more. But the thing is, I was being punished for ordinary mistakes, which I HAD to make because I was a child, because I was a human being. I never COULD achieve perfection because I was not a god, I was a 4 year old BOY. Mum KNEW that I would always make mistakes, and so she had a never ending supply of things to shame me over. Its like punishing someone for breathing - something they cannot helo but do by virtue of what they are - human. "OH YOU BREATHED DID YOU?? Well you know what THAT means dont you? You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. I havent brought you up to BREATHE - you're not like those other COMMON children",I DO NOT DESERVE to be punished anymore. I am punished for things that are not faults, I am punished for genuine mistakes. But punishment never changes anything - in fact, love, care, support, understanding and guidance work a MILLION times better than punishment, and really - does the kind of mistake that EVERYONE makes, really require punishment? Or is it perhaps that you have so much of your own shame so bottled up that the only way you can relive it is to pour it out onto someone who knows no better, who relies on you, to whom you are his world?At the least, that is selfish. At worst, that is emotional abuse. I do not deserve it anymore, I will not let you punish me anymore.Your hold over me is weakening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenga Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 About 2 months ago, I was at work, and I spilled a pitcher of water. My first reaction was to immediately fell all over myself, apologizing vehemently to my boss: " I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot!"So here I am, 48 years old, and that is still ingrained in me. At least afterwards I was able to say to myself: "Self, why the heck are you apologizing? It was an accident! No one is going to like or care for you more or less based on this. It's OKAY! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 About 2 months ago, I was at work, and I spilled a pitcher of water. My first reaction was to immediately fell all over myself, apologizing vehemently to my boss: " I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot!"So here I am, 48 years old, and that is still ingrained in me. At least afterwards I was able to say to myself: "Self, why the heck are you apologizing? It was an accident! No one is going to like or care for you more or less based on this. It's OKAY! "YuppellyAnd lately, I feel like im starting to belive that in my guts, and not just my head I put this into a new thread, I know tis a bit me me me and stuff (blush) but I wanted to see what other folkies thought Pls do not spank me for being a terrible attention seeker, even though I prolly am one a bit. Okies thanks :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 I'm glad the hold she has over you is weakening. Is positive. Wish I could say the same for me and my Mum. The immortal words "you are just like you Dad". Or, "you sound just like your Grandma" haunt me still. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 I'm glad the hold she has over you is weakening. Is positive. Wish I could say the same for me and my Mum. The immortal words "you are just like you Dad". Or, "you sound just like your Grandma" haunt me still. xxxHi RosesI am going to post a little snippet from a bookie I have, you have just reminded me of it Huggles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 hey rossie that sleaking to i had plus almost losing me in te hospital has changed my mom she kind and loving and supportive and does nothing but cherish me now its hard to get used to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 hauntin phrases rosesyes'do you think you can??' and 'theyr not intrested in you, they have their own lives to lead'and many many morelittle gems to haunt my days and nihgts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 hey rossie that sleaking to i had plus almost losing me in te hospital has changed my mom she kind and loving and supportive and does nothing but cherish me now its hard to get used toWheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bouncies Long may it last!Wish my mum could do that :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 i think it was cause i almost died yeah see how long it lasts ill let u know if it does ill share with u Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 then u can call me sis and i can call u brother :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 then u can call me sis and i can call u brother Okies sis :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 4, 2009 Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 yes sir e my brother :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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