Remove

[Joshua]

Or it could be im involved in something else and dont have the time for this.

Or that i feel ive given you enough of my time which is, s ive said limited.

[Wobbles]

How appropriate do you feel it is to hyjack a members post and populate it with your own personal issues. Please submit a ticket. I feel i have been very patient in my responses and still although you have provided a long winded post im still left wondering how you were attacked and abused by the team here with specific examples.

This is exactly the attitude i'm talking about. Phrases such as 'Long winded post' 'I feel i have been very patient in my responses'...as if to say, you're a naughty child, i've been patient with you but now i just can't be bothered. Your feelings and thoughts are meaningless to me, and i'll make sure you know that without me actually telling you straight.

I feel very hurt by you Joshua. But i also realise you don't care.

[Wobbles]

Or it could be im involved in something else and dont have the time for this.

Or that i feel ive given you enough of my time which is, s ive said limited.

Do you realise what you're saying Joshua, and just how harsh, judgemental, critical, and hurtful you're being?

[Joshua]

I realise thats how you choosing to take what i am saying yes.

[Wobbles]

I realise thats how you choosing to take what i am saying yes.

And i realise you really are completely incapable of taking responsibility for your actions, your arrogance clouds your judgement, you feel you're above us all here, and have no thought, consideration, or care for any of the members here. I've asked you several times what your motivation is, and you refuse to tell us.

I am not choosing to be hurt by you, you ARE HURTING ME with your attitude and dismissive comments. However, i will choose not to hold onto that hurt, because i sincerely feel you're not worth it.

I no longer have time to discuss this with you either, as you're obviously unwilling to be mature, thoughtful, considerate and respectful.

[Sammy]

I don't mean to speak for Joshua, but...after watching his dvd...yes I actually watched it! lol...I'd say his motivation was to provide a support system for those with mental health issues, which if disregarding his own comments and opinions on here, the forum and the rest of the charity does meet that requirement and fulfils that motivation. Anything after that I think is inconsequential and really if he doesn't wish to expand then I don't see the problem.

[Sammy]

Bare also in mind that Joshua runs a pretty big charity here that involves much more than just this forum, and he has to run the day to day business side of it, if he didn't care the charity would collapse, so obvisously he cares very deeply about keeping it going. I tried to set up a charity once, it was very hard work right from the beginning and very time consuming. And that was just the start of a charity, once it's going there is so much more involved, it's certainly no easy task.

[Joshua]

What motivation could i have to enagage in discussion with someone who talks of me in the way you do wobbles.

The assumptions you make etc. Assumptions that are not for me to keep correcting. Ive reached a point in my life where im comfortable in who i am as a person, and where im able to function with insulting feedback from members. Where i dont need to respond emotionally.

[Wobbles]

What motivation could i have to enagage in discussion with someone who talks of me in the way you do wobbles.

The assumptions you make etc. Assumptions that are not for me to keep correcting.

Observations, not assumptions Joshua, two very different things. And you refuse to enter into discussions about them in a mature manner, only to take the time you say you don't have to retort in an arrogant, inconsiderate manner. You are speaking to me, and have done in the past in a very rude, nasty, harsh, judgemental, critical and dismissive way, and that's how i feel. Yet you continue to dismiss my feelings and invalidate them. Yet you want me to take on board what you say about the way i'm speaking to you? or the way i speak of you? Considering you never have taken the time, that's so precious to you, to actually engage in a mature, considerate, polite manner.

You're not the sort of person i feel is capable of having this debate in a thoughtful manner, and will therefore cease to participate in it. You are not better than me, you're not smarter than me in every aspect of life, you're not as old as me, and don't have as much life experience as me. You do not have the right to treat me with such contempt, and i will no longer be apart of a community that is run by an arrogant pig!

You win Joshua, you must be so please that your charity is doing so well to help people with mental illnesses, yet you can't treat one person with dignity and respect when they're asking valid questions, and raising valid points, and attempting to enter into a healthy debate with you.

Best of luck for the future, and i hope you make your millions soon. Other than that, i still can't see what your motivation is, because you behave in a very immature, uncaring way towards members, who have the mental illness that you are supposedly working so hard to help.

Bye.

Anyone who wants to stay in touch with me, Ross has my email address.

[Joshua]

You can only speak for yourself not other members. I have received much positive feedback over 5 years of doing this. Good luck with your decision to leave, one that you have indicated making previously but were back.

[Sammy]

Joshua is one part of this forum, and to be honest he's not here much, Wobbles you will be walking away from many caring and considerate people who have enjoyed participating in conversations with you, including myself over one person you don't care to engage with...surely it would be easier just to avoid Joshua than an entire community?

[Joshua]

I am on a training course today and didnt and dont have the time to enagage in lenghly discussions. this is something you choose to believe as me being arrogant. This being said I still took the time to respond which is nothing but courteous.

You have many expectations about the way you expect services to be run here and they are not realistic for reasons i spent time explaining to you.

[Sammy]

You did also say before you no longer wished to engage with him, yet chose to engage with him again on this topic, knowing how you feel about the way he communicates with you. You could have chose to avoid engaging with him, but you didn't, and for that you do need to take some responsibility too.

There are people in my life I feel are toxic to me for whatever reason and so I choose not to engage with them. It doesn't matter what they do or say, I don't engage, I don't answer my door or phone to them because I have a responsibility to take care of my own well being.

I cannot control the actions of others, I can only control my own actions.

Where many people do not find Joshua toxic to them and can communicate efficiently with him, this is obviously not the case for you. This does not mean you have to leave the forum as there is no real need for you to engage with Joshua. Just because he started the charity and manages it, does not mean you have to engage with him. There are other staff members that are available to communicate with you if a problem arises, and many members that can still be helpful and supportive towards you.

[Sammy]

To be fair, Joshua is above the rules cuz he makes them! The rest of us staff have to abide by the current rules he makes, although we also contribute to new rules and rule changes.

Joshua is top dog and has noone to answer too, so really if you think about it he has just his own consious to answer to, and no I don't think he should HAVE to answer to anyone else, i think what he does here is amazing and he provides a great service that I think we should be grateful for and not take for granted or have unrealistic expectations of.

As long as he is within the laws of the land there is no other requirement of him. You can put as many expectations on him as you like, but that doesn't mean he has to meet them.

[Joshua]

Unless i break the law....

I also have clinical supervision, I rarely take forum issues to it but it happens

[Sammy]

I also fall into the trap of putting expectations on people though, to then feel disapointed later. Much better for me if I learn to stop doing that.

[jades]

i dont know really what to say....... i will say this wobbles i can understand u feel insulted and invlidated i will not judge you and ask that u not leave the forum the forum is not just joshua and sammy u can always contact me im always here there are many members who understand where theyre not ready to share which is ok too i was aware that when u sent in a ticket they send u an auto email back saying they recieved your tcket then u can check the status of that ticket but beyond that i know nothing but please calm down a bit im a mod and i havent picked sides i hope that comforts u that all i see is lola was asking a question was in destress and yes joshua made a bad joke or judgement call and from ther it got out of control in my opinion but please reconsider for us hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Sammy]

I hope I didn't say anything invalidating?

[Roses]

I posted somewhere at the beginning of this that the person whose post this was had just been pushed aside. I do think that this topic is going on and on and is now more more than a well worded slanging match. Sorry if this pisses anyone off. The rules are there in black and white for all to see, we don't need a 3 page discussion about them we can just go read them.

[Sammy]

I was under the impression that wobbles and others wanted answers, regarding staff's role on the forums and their motivation, but also I felt that to help the members understand what is going on from our side of things, would bring us closer together through understanding and more realistic expectations to be made. I don't believe it's a slanging match at all, and even wobbles, who most of this was directed towards, agreed that it was a healthy adult debate and was appreciative of the responses and explanations I gave.

Unfortunately she didn't view the responses from Joshua in the same way, I can't speak for him or control his actions, only my own, and I'd like to think in some way I was able to help.

I don't think Joshua is the be all and end all of this forum and I just do not see why someone would demand so much from him when they are obviously offended by the way in which he communicates with them, and why they can not communicate with another staff member who they feel is better suited to answering their needs than Joshua or who has more time to respond to them.

I apologise if I've missed something, but I just fail to see where the slanging is that you accuse us of.

I've tried to answer the questions raised, in the best way I can, in an understanding manner, and also tried to offer advice that would enable wobbles to remain with us rather than feeling she had to leave.

[Sammy]

but I'll let it die at that, as obviously my advice and support in this situation is misinterpreted and unwanted.

I shall learn to hold my cards close to my chest and no longer be open and honest, will avoid answering questions and just do all my work from behind the scenes from now on.

[em]

re-opened at Joshua's request

[Data]

re-opened at Joshua's request

Cool, let me get the first word in then! I think Josh is being very patient over this. Many sites would just ban people who complain a lot, to save themselves work.

[Dani]

Ummm...i 'm suprised that all this has come out of the original thread.I am also suprised at some of your views wobbles regarding joshua and the mod team.

Behind this computer we are the same as anyone else ...and in our own lives i doubt any of us feel above anyone or rules so we certainly do not when it comes to the forum.We do as much as possible to ensure that this forum feels safe.Yes there will be technical difficulties at times ...joshua and the admin team work extra hard to rectify these problems asap.

When we sign up to the site we do so after confirming we have read the terms and conditions...so with regard to the original post made it was your responsibility to do so lola.It is unfortunate that you want to delete them and it's causing you distress.As mentioned before though members take time to respond to threads so to delete all your threads isn't possible.If you have not posted any personal information such as name/email address on the forum it's very unlikely that anyone will find you here.Lola do you not feel that you could gain some support here?Alot of members have posted on this thread to try and help you because they care.

I do have to say that the post directed to joshua off wobbles that joshua must only be in it for the money ect is uncalled for.I am sure when he was struggling to get this site up and running and funding it himself that money was the last thing on his mind.

This site is to offer support..i know when i first joined(before i was a mod) i found it so helpful just to chat to people who understood.I have made lots of friends on this site who have supported me and i have supported through difficult times.Thats what it's all about is it not?

It is a fact of life that people will clash at times and not see eye to eye but as adults we can accept that and move on from it.

Wobbles-i hope that you choose to come back as you have support here and you have also been a support to others,and lola -i hope you too decide that maybe the forum could support you a little...or if not at least know that it is safe here and not likeley that you could be found.

xxxx

[Joshua]

Right im back.

Im sorry this thread was closed. It was done by a member of the mod team and for reasons which I do not yet understand but nothing in this thread has breached the terms - Come close with wobbles comments but they were aimed at me and therefore i believe it was for me to decide if this thread should therefore be closed.

I always allow for discussion and debate even when heated and continiously go on at the mod team to support and encourage conversations rather than to use the 'powers' afforded to us by position.

Yes this thread was lola's but responsability also has to be held there. 1) for the way her topic was posted and 2) for restarting the thread after the matter seemed to have come to a close.

Make millions by keeping this charity going - I loose hundereds each and every months through my own decision to keep this place running. Again i take this time to identify this as another false statement/assumption.