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Which of the 'DSM-IV-TR criteria' fit you?  

256 members have voted

  1. 1. Which symptoms of BPD do you have, or have had in the past?

    • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. [Not including suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5]
      205
    • A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
      215
    • Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
      224
    • Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving). [Again, not including suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5]
      202
    • Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.
      208
    • Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
      227
    • Chronic feelings of emptiness, worthlessness.
      235
    • Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
      188
    • Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms
      175


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Well I got 9/9 too. Never been diagnosed as bpd but have only ever seen the gp with severe depression just about to change meds as he reckons I have reistant depression as on top dose of mirtazapine and still a totally miserable bastard. Have only just mentioned to him that I have extreme highs, have never seen that as a negative (in spite of the spending...)and I miss them. My sister (nurse) suggested bpd a couple of years ago.

Do I mention it to my GP next time I see him? I know the docs must get fed up with self diagnosis on the internet but what are we supposed to do when they only see us for ten minutes???

When I am on the new meds I will start to see someone to talk to, perhaps that will be the best time to mention my suspicions. How has anyone else broached the subject with their doctor?

Thanks

Karen

Hi I am another newbie like you and finally got diagnosed today, also my therapist is going to speak to the PDoc as most phsyc, don't like the term BPD as they can't give us a pill for it. but keep pushing, my doctor was very suppostive (I think she just sick of seeing me weekly and patching up my self harm).

Keep gpoing

L

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Hi Im new. I got all 9 as well. I have known for years that something was 'wrong' with me so when i was diagnosed 2 years ago it wasnt really a huge suprise to me.

(for some reason it wouldnt let me vote though... maybe because im new?)

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I have 7, possibly 8/9 (Gosh, I didn't realise it was that many).

I was uncertain about the rocky relationships - I tend to avoid relationships altogether, especially in terms of friendships and romantic relationships. My past psychotherapist would perhaps have identified my idealising/devaluing certain people though. I recognise my putting people on pedestals or making people "all good" or "all bad" at times.

One of my main problems is in fact that I feel unable to outwardly express anger. As an adolescent I did in fact deny the emotion at all, which only ended up with it being internalised into negative voices and self harm. I believe in fact that I was/am livid but was too afraid of the strength of that emotion and its negative connotations to allow myself to feel it.

Also with regards to impulsivity. I don't think I'm that impulsive at all. I rarely do things without forethought. It annoys me that I am treated by certain professionals as though I may be impulsive simply because of the diagnosis. Grr.

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Hey guys, I think I'm probably 7 or 8 as well. Never sure about the abandonment one: perhaps more when I was younger; but I do have a fear of being abandoned by friends, and quite often feel that I have done something to offend or upset them, and then I will phone them frantically just to make sure they are still talking to me (even though I haven't done anything at all). I also worry if my partner doesn't come home exactly when she says she will: again, I become worried that she has gone off, or something has happened to her, and phone obsessively until I reach her. Does any of this sound familiar? With the 'black and white' thing, I think I tend to tend to think that people either really like me, or really don't like me; and the smallest thing can convince me that their feelings for me have changed (that they have essentially gone from seeing me as friend to seeing me as enemy). Again, does that ring any bells? It's always good to hear other voices!

What a great forum! :)

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Err, might be the odd one out....no desertion issues...If Im all alone, I cant be deserted, right???lol

Definately not unstable in sense of self-I've known im stuck in the body of a female for years...

Guess they missed a few other diagnoses....lol

D

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I gave myself 8 out of 9. Although I'm also trying to take into account I'm in a bad place right now and I guess that makes you more likely to ascribe yourself negative stuff.

Abandonment is the biggest one for me though - came up for me bigtime in the last few weeks. Affects so many of my relationships and friendships. The devaluation thing is also pretty important to me. It's the flipside of abandonment though isn't it, telling yourself that the people you love aren't worth it so you don't feel bad when they're not there any more?

I don't know, I'm very tempted to get a diagnosis but not sure what I'd do with it. Plus haven't a clue where to get one...

What I do find is when I'm feeling confident, I will probably deny that any of these things are important.

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7/10

I haven't been formally diagnosed yet... but I'm starting therapy very soon. As I read the symptoms on the websites I visited I felt as if someone had been reading my mind. Up til now I just thought I was crazy, abnormal and that I didn't fit in anywhere because I was a 'bad' person.

Right now my marriage is in crisis ... I have a beautiful six month old baby boy and my husband definately doesn't understand me. He's said that I have to go to therapy, which I want to, and if I don't change, it's the end of our marriage...

Is there any hope for us???

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7/10

I haven't been formally diagnosed yet... but I'm starting therapy very soon. As I read the symptoms on the websites I visited I felt as if someone had been reading my mind. Up til now I just thought I was crazy, abnormal and that I didn't fit in anywhere because I was a 'bad' person.

Right now my marriage is in crisis ... I have a beautiful six month old baby boy and my husband definately doesn't understand me. He's said that I have to go to therapy, which I want to, and if I don't change, it's the end of our marriage...

Is there any hope for us???

welcomeani.gif Justina.

Your husband has to realise that BPD is a serious condition and is not curable, but change is possible. However, change takes time, sometimes a long time. So he needs to be patient with you.

Good luck with your therapy and I hope you find the forums useful.

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Thank you for the welcome meme.

I know I'm at the very beginning of a long and difficult journey. It started when I convinced myself during my pregnancy that my husband didn't love me anymore and in the 8th month I asked him to leave. He didn't, but after our son's birth I continued my destructive behaviour and we ended up at a session of marriage counselling, where the therapist, much to my surprise, turned her focus to me and indicated that it was I who should be attending therapy.

At the moment, my husband just thinks I have some serious trust issues and problems with anger management. He doesn't even know BPD exists, and niether did I until I started surfing the web for answers. I cried as I read the first BPD article. Relief mixed with fear as I realised that my problem was alot more serious than I(we) had thought. Behaviours that I had not thought were in any way connected were suddenly neatly categorised and explained.

I'm worried my husband may not want to continue a relationship with me when he finds out what is really going on inside my head. On the other hand, I don't think he should have to live with and tolerate someone like me. Quite often I get the urge to end our marriage. I feel for him as I finally realise what he has put up with during the last 6 years and the next minute I'm furious at him for talking me into having a baby and putting me in the position where I am now, so that I can't just get up and leave him because there is the child to consider now.

Reading other member's posts here is really helping me get through a difficult time right now... I don't feel so alone anymore

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6/9 not too bad considering I am still struggling on the uphill climb out of recent crisis admission.

(Only 2 to learn to manage more effectively before I can be considered as recovered and having traits only, it's still a long way to go though!!!!!)

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I experience 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8 and 9.

It can be a bit difficult though- sometimes I don't think I exhibit a symptom at all. But then when I think about it, about

the past, ways I've reacted, what I've felt, I have to say yeah, that IS how I am.

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Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment - msot of the time I will push people away because I've read something into how they're acting or what they say that leads me to believe that they're going to leave me and since I don't want to be the one who's left, I leave them. that's as far as friends are concerned...as far as significant others I will become what I think they want to keep them in my life, even when I know the relationship is toxic for not only me, but for them as well.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation - I either hate you or I love you. there is no in-between for me. there never has been.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self - to this day and most likely until the day I die, I will never really know who I am or what I am on this planet for. and if I am in a relationship with you, I will become a different person. I will never let you see who I really am for fear of being rejected.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) - I have three areas in which I damage myself. I spend money like crazy, there is the sex one and my wight fluctuates greatly because I will go from periods of binge eating and gain massive amounts of weight to the other end of the spectrum to where I am underweight because I refuse to eat.

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior -I have been hospitalized from two almost successful suicide attempts (I lived), I also am a cutter as well as purposely hitting things or running into things to either bruise myself or break some part of my body.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) - I have little to no control over my emotions. it gets better the older I get but I still have times where I can't control anything about anything that I act like. I feel things about 100's times more than you do. every single emotion. yes, all of them. you are happy? I'm in fucking ecstacy. you're sad? I want to kill myself. and so on.

Chronic feelings of emptiness - you would think that being over emotional and emptiness wouldn't go together but they do. I feel but not like you feel and as such, it almost always feels like there is a giant hole inside of me that no matter what I say or do, is still there. it's not going to go away. it's like loneliness intensified to the point that most normal people would winde up shoting themselves in the head.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) - me? I deal with almost constant anger. unfortunately I turn it on the one person I see as a monster. myself. I was never allowed to express my anger growing up (put in foster care due to my bio father sexually abusing me for years) and now I have learned to take it out on myself rather than others.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms - I can dissociate like a pro. I am also extremely paranoid. anything you say or do, even if it's innocent, I will take and twist until I see it as something else. and I can't say I will make it into something nice, I won't. I will think you hate my guts because of it. I will dwell upon it and either put yet another mask on or I will blow up in your face for no reason that you can think of. but I'll have reasons. they may not be logical, but I will have them. or I will pretend you don't exist and when I do this long enough, you really will stop existing to me.

I'm sorry if this is upsetting to some people but as I said before, I have been having a rather bad setback and I'm not in the greatest mindframe at this point. if whoever is the main mod here needs to delete this I understand. as much as I'm hurting inside, I don't want others to hurt because I am.

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and if some of this sounds weird, keep in mind that I was trying my best to explain this to my husband. I'm not nearly as good at explaining things verbally as i can write everything down.

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• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Even people that I've lost interest in suddenly become very important if they're going to cut me off. Or even have a new friend, because that means they're going to abandon me and go off with them.

• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Like a kids TV show, everyone is a 'goodie' or a 'baddie' to me.

• Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Constant reinvention of myself - more piercings, more modifications, changing my clothing style, changing my name, changing my beleief systems, changing my sexual orientation, changing my friends. I find this one quite good, it's hard to dislike yourself when you're a changeling.

• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving).

I cheat on partners, I have random sexual encounters, I binge drink, I'll take any drug thats put in front of me, and the only time I've driven I crashed into another car (was drunk in my defence) I don't binge eat though, so I'm skinny :)

• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.

Cut, burned, bit, pinched and slapped myself for years. After a few major suicide attempts, it's now my bargaining chip (do what I want or I swear I'll do it)

• Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Swings and roundabouts. :(:):(:)

• Chronic feelings of emptiness, worthlessness.

This one is the worst. It just makes me feel so crap, and...well, empty.

• Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

A few people have been on the recieving end of my anger, and have had the pleasure of getting a black eye, or worse, being chased with a brick or a kitchen knife.

• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms.

I'm currently semi-convinced one of my friends is spying on me, that my ex is plotting against me, and that people are taping my phone conversations with them. I don't dissociate so much these days though.

So yeah, 9/9 which I knew anyway. I find it quite relaxing writing it all out and giving examples, but then I am a bit self-obsessed.

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  • 4 years later...

8 out of 9, what joy :)

I manage a couple of those better than I used to but not well enough - as in can still surface as destructive patterns - bit like having a sleeping dragon in a cave that can be silent for months, but if prodded ... you know. Classic BPD stuff :(

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