Bpd

[velvetcrabman]

snap!

[Humblegrub]

Think this made me feel worse

[getmeoutahere]

I have 9 and not been diagnosed with BPD yet but chatting with doctors on thursday and also seeing councellors on monday because currently receiving CBT therapy

[velvetcrabman]

they often take many attempts before final diagnosis, as they should, just be glad we're not in Australia or New Zealand where they don't recognize BPD even exists

[Jessie5]

I have 8 maybe 9 but could this be something else, I'm not keen on bpd diagnosis

[mousie]

including past as well as present, 9

but i think in general the BPD criteria and whole assessment tools and treatment pathways suck

same same for DID

the one i think is useful is DESNOS but nobody but the select elite in complex trauma use it

which sucks spectacularly

this brings me to tears each time i come across this reality

not an appeal for sympathy. just expressing

[lovehatebrains]

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5).

Yes. Yes, this. Always this. Only ever with my partner, nobody else.

1. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called "splitting."

Unstable long term relationships yes, but I don't do the devaluing thing, it's constant adoration with moment of panic when number 1 is happening, during which I have been known to swear, get angry and say hateful things. But I can see people as greys, not black and whites.

1. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

No, never. I know myself well.

1. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5).

No

1. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

Yes, I punch my legs and slap my face. Images of suicide flash through my mind. At my worst, I seriously consider suicide.

1. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Yes.

1. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

In the past, yes. Sometimes still if I am alone for long periods.

1. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

No physical fights although I have had intense anger, again, only towards my partner.

1. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I do dissociate during high stress but it's not absolutely major. No delusions.

I'm not sure if I qualify or not because this stuff only ever happens in one context, the romantic relationship. I have to say though I have never spent long periods single as an adult, so who knows if it would transfer...

[addy2]

9 out of 9 not sure how to explain them though the criteria isn't very clear to me. I self harm weekly am suicidal a lot, sleep around a lot, get angry break stuff never hit people though, anxiety, depression, mood changes, lack of identity to me was explained as not knowing who I am, others describe it as changing their appearance but ur appearance isn't ur identity is it, my therapist said its going from a functioning adult to falling apart in the same day not knowing what rules or morals I live by and changing them all the time. Empty all the time. Hate being alone and fight with my partner when he goes somewhere, push people away when they get close before they reject me. Paranoid about people espically my therapist things can get out of control then, not sure if I made any sense at all my head tends to ramble.

[Crow]

9/9

My psych told me I scored 8 when I was diagnosed, I'm not sure which one I'm not supposed to have lol.

[Settng Sun]

8/9 for me - I should get a silver medal!

[CrippleAndStarfish]

I voted for what I have had in my life since early teens (all of them) . I was diagnosed with bpd upon turning 18, just over 5 years ago, but it was mentioned in my notes since around aged 15. Been in various treatments & therapies since age 13/14.

Now at 23, I think I only have a battle of wills with fears of abandonment, and affective instability - usually whatever I feel comes out as withdrawal, which turns to anger if pushed/forced to be involved.

I still notice the rest, but ive not selfharmed for a long time now, no suicide attempts for over 2 yrs.... I only think about it briefly at moments of extreme stress, and am quick to disregard it as an option, these days.

I dont think im recovered. But I am in recovery, and I'm doing well. I still struggle, but I have so many skills under my belt that I can and do put to good use xx

[Barebones]

Good to see people finding topics. not sure if I actually did it the first time lol

[SusieQ]

Used to have 7, but never had a bpd dx, just 'anxiety and depression'.

Now I have 2...I see that as progress

[beastyk8100]

9/9 just wonder why it took the docs 5 years to diagnose me :-/

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm going to print this out and give it to my therapist and maybe my parents/sister. Thank you Data for starting the thread and to everyone who has revived it and enabled me to find it.

There is only one I definitely don't have. I don't have inappropriate anger because I don't really feel it much. I feel anger about things that aren't directly connected to me. Like there was this teacher who took a boy's hearing aid away because she wanted all children to be the same and having a hearing aid made him different and wrong. That made me angry. I think my anger there was appropriate but maybe a bit mild, anger always seems a bit at a distance.

The self damaging behaviour I think I probably have but there's only one on the list. I don't have an ED, I've never had consensual sex and I don't drive recklessly because I never managed to pass my test but I was always told off for being too cautious. The only one I do is substance abuse though it is all legal substances, I just like my medications a lot. But it wouldn't surprise me if I had one that isn't on the list.

No one's interested in diagnosing me though and I'm not sure if there's any advantage in getting a diagnosis now.

[Data]

Thank you Data for starting the thread and to everyone who has revived it and enabled me to find it.

Its bizarre really because I don't use this forum much anymore (but its good that its still here for me when I need it) as I am well on the road to recovery. I still have problems with emotional instability and anger, but things are under control. Having said that, the road never ends, I'll never be completely recovered. This is a 4 year old thread!!!

It turns out I don't have BPD, just some traits of it, as well as some traits of avoidant PD and of autism.

[Barebones]

Go figure, did tell u that many yrs back. Glad things are working out for u now. Take care xx

[Pickle59]

just checking to see if there is a technical glitch with this thread.................

Sorted.............

[greenkalllo]

Takes me back to when the Doctors first spoke to me about BPD. After years of just being the local bitch one day and looney the next, I always presumed "that's just me". The psychiatrist ran through a similar list with me... nothing like being a walking text book.

I have to agree with the comments on self-diagnosis though, very dangerous and often misleading. Over the years I have had many possible diagnosis ran over me, some fit well, some loosely and few incorrect ones - almost perfectly. The thing is, as my ex-partner once said the Doctor sometimes, you are so desperate for a name, some help, you'll almost force yourself into a box... just to get some answers!

[maddy harper]

i struggle with abandonment issues

i offen feel disconected from the world around me, kinda like if you were in a glass capsual.

its a strange feeling that one.

i offen feel anger but don't know why and what for

i will add more to this list i'm sure

cause i've only scratched the surface with this one.

[salamence91]

I feel all of those in the poll but most of the time its chronic emptiness etc what is really affecting me this time round. I also feel like people who do not understand me. And I feel like its all my fault its come back. Like I've done something wrong somewhere.

[maddy harper]

its common i bpd sufferers to feel chronic feelings of emptyness

[WhyMeAngel25]

I am new to this an i scored a 9

[trondk]

7/9 and dont have BPD ? yet

[Wildeinsights]

9/9 and v down today