Dice Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 I have been told I do it , But I cannot see how I have... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 I was just wondering if people can own up to manipulating a situation for there own outcome? Just interested. I know i have, i have many accounts of doing it. All the best all me too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 ive been told im very manipulative so i guess i must be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 I unwittingly do it, but I am rubbish at it if I knowingly try and do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 I think people like everyone needs to have the skills to manipulate. It is helpful in all sorts of ways in life much like lying. Does my hair look nice? Yes it takes years off you (and you look like a dog). So I would say manipulation is a life skill. I do it openly I think although sometimes looking back I think oh I must have made that happen. I guess I don't see it as a bad thing completely as we are not talking about hurting people we are talking about helping ourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Why does this say I replied today when I did yesterday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakura Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 I wouldn't say I'm normally manipulative, but I answered "yes" because I am in certain circumstances, basically when I am really unwell and suffering. What causes me to be manipulative is pain, fear, and a need for help. I am usually manipulative towards the mental health system. I climbed up on a roof and made as if to jump off, KNOWING that the police would be called and I would be sectioned - that is what I wanted out of the situation. But although the behaviour may have been manipulative there was a good reason behind it. I felt as if I couldn't take it any more, I was desperate and at the end of my tether. I felt like I could use my own life as an ultimatum - somebody better fucking do something quick or I'm gonna die!! It wasn't an empty gesture though...I meant it...if nobody could help me and stop these awful feelings I felt the only other option was death. Luckily someone did come to my aid and my manipulation worked. I was locked up safely from myself and had my meds changed and six months later I don't feel so desperate any more. I don't regret it, I felt like nobody would have taken me seriously otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geek_sauce Posted July 29, 2011 Report Share Posted July 29, 2011 I do that, too. It's scares me when I see it, especially since nobody else does. I always want to cry or apologize, but to be frank I'm a coward... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccidentalBully Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Yep I do it. Never mean to hurt anyone or upset them. But it's the only way to get things done half the time. I agree it can be abusive but not always. More often than not I do it out of love to Improve a situation. That sounds arrogant, but I know what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 me you are allin my power and dontknow it until now so why do i letyou knoe, think aboutit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I think everyone does it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reasonwhat4 Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 I have manipulated people through guilt in the past when I was unaware that I had problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Yeah I get told I do it, I hate myself for doing it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted November 22, 2011 Report Share Posted November 22, 2011 Yeah I get told I do it, I hate myself for doing it too. Welcome back, Honeyflower :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beigh Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 I dont want to drag an old topic back up, but i really related to this....I am terrible for manipulation sometimes i dont realise i'm doing it, then at other times i seem to set out to do it. I have to say i dont like myself for some of the things i've done, but i think i need to accept this is part of my personality..... Beigh x X x X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddie50 Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 I manipulate - sometimes unknowingly but sometimes intentionally but usually that is when I see catastrophe ahead and try to avoid it. Like if I feel I am being rejected or abandoned I will try to manipulate the situation to avoid that. Does that make sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow1 Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 My daughter (BPD/Bipolar) is the master of manipulation, lol I'm laughing but it actually isn't funny when I witness her doing it and boy does she do it well x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autism-bpd Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 I don't manipulate its wrong and I would never do such a thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justine giggle Posted December 3, 2011 Report Share Posted December 3, 2011 im so not sure if manipulative is the right word... i know many refer to people with bpd as being manipulative, but my understanding of this word is being someone who is artful and skillful and controlling something in a certain way... I so wouldnt say that this was something i was able to do before i had therapy to teach me how to.... i see that before i was unable to communicate in effective ways... but now i can... i know that many people find this label really affensive...but i believe not true for many.... please dont put that pressure on urself xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlasticInsanity Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 thb, I do it almost daily. It's become part of my job; manipulate the call so that I'm in control and the customer doesn't become irate on the phone. I do it not when I need to, but sometimes because I want to. As much as I try not to (especially with Deb, who's my worker and is trying to help me), it's only out of habit from being an ACA. I feel scared when I'm not in control, so I manipulate the situation to where I feel in control and can handle whatever comes my way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparko Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 i think we all do it at times x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 Manipulative 1. attempts to control or play upon others' hopes or fears to attain selfish ends while disregarding their aspirations or well being. 2. Shrewd or devious management for one's own advantage. 3 to manage or influence skillfully in an unfair manner: I think that everyone influences people and manages interpersonal relationships. That is the whole basis of human interaction. We can't interact with someone without in some way influencing them and thier feelings. It is when we are purposefully doing it to forward our own desires in a way that hurts or disregards the other person, that it becomes manipulative. Simply 'controlling' an interaction isn't 'manipulative' because it may be done with the intention of helping the other person like in counselling or teaching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 used to do it a lot mostly when absolutely desperate ant terrified of abandnment or rejection. now for better or worse i don't feel like i have a right to ask anything from anyone or from life. so desperate manipulation and the underlying belief that things could be made to be 'safe' or better has been replaced by a soul destroying passivity. hmmm. not good either. but i couldn't stand being someone who did manipulative things so i suppose its better in that respect, and being dependent on someone elses reactions/actions towrards me was fucking dreadful too so glad to be rid of that. even tho neediness has been replaced with loneliness. on the other hand. i cannot stand the feeling of manipulated by others. cannot stand it or tolerate it. i am respectful of others boundaries and want them to be of mine. also maybe because it reminds me of what i was like and lots of fear connected to being like that again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlasticInsanity Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 I realized the other day that I learned to manipulate my father at 11 years old. I told him if he gave me&my sister money to go for lunch, he could turn up his stereo like he wanted. I thought I was just really smart - I was, but more so I learned at an early age that you can manipulate somebody's wants for something in exchange. Deb says its survival techniques. I guess it is in a very strange, and very sad, way. Did anyone else learn this as a child? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 See, Plastic, I wouldn't regard that as manipulation - not in the horrid sense that the doctors mean it. What you have done there was intelligent and socially skilled - you met your needs and his. You created a win win situation. You were considering his needs and simply pointing out to him how you could both behave in a mutually beneficial way. You weren't giving him false information, trying to lie to him, trying to guilt trip him. I would not call what you did manipulative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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