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Who Can Own Up To Manipulating?


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Manipulating  

120 members have voted

  1. 1. who has manipulated a situation for there own means?

    • yes
      110
    • no
      10


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I used to do it alot as a kid, which of course is normal for a child to manipulate. I used to steal thing from other kids draws and put them in another kids draw and watch them fight. I used to manipulate to get money or sweets. I have to admit, I still do manipulate but its gotten to the point where I don't realise i'm doing it until after the fact. Its a hard habit to get out of. I'm a spoiled brat and I always have been - though I do have positives in my personality, sometimes the negatives overrule

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I think that everyone influences people and manages interpersonal relationships. That is the whole basis of human interaction. We can't interact with someone without in some way influencing them and thier feelings. It is when we are purposefully doing it to forward our own desires in a way that hurts or disregards the other person, that it becomes manipulative. Simply 'controlling' an interaction isn't 'manipulative' because it may be done with the intention of helping the other person like in counselling or teaching.

yes there are so many behaviours which could be seen as manipulative but aren't really bad and are just normal parts of interaction. or people wanting to have needs met-that is understandable and doesn't bother me.

i think i used the word 'manipulation' in my post to refer to the very extreme side of things. and because using that word was easier than admitting what i really meant to say which was i no longer say things like 'don't leave me or i will hurt myself'. thats what i can't bear being on the receiving end of its not a nice position to put someone in and i'm ashamed i did it although at the time it felt there was no alternative.

i guess manipulation is a broad spectrum and that could lead to confusion.

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I tend to manipulate people - I want them to feel bad for me, and to show me they love me - but not necessary the situation exactly. I hate doing it. I hate it. And I'm only ever aware of it in the back of my mind - it's kind of like "Well maybe if I'm more obvious about how this is going to hurt me, they'll feel bad. And then they'll look after me."

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I went on a course about personality disorders where I live a while ago, and they addressed this, the 'myth' that people with BPD are very manipulative. The guy who ran the course said that BPD sufferers are no more manipulative than the general population. he said everyone is manipulative, people with BPD just don't have the skills of subtly and gradually manipulating situations, so our attempts are more obvious and abrupt. Made sense to me...

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  • 3 weeks later...

I do, but usually unlnowingly. Somebody has to point it out to me

I like getting my own way-I'm very childish like that

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Im definately very childish. I hate it when I dont get my own way and throw a tantrum pretty much, but I do manipulate I know that, and I know I seem to be very good at it too. I dont think thats a good quality..... But yes everyone does it, I just think people with BPD do it more often and for different reasons maybe.

Louladoll xxo

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Apparently I'm in the habit of manipulating people into abusing me? I push the men I date onto other women, but them prostitutes, and tell them to sleep around, because "I'm fine with it!! I'm cool!!!" I'm not. I'm a total dick. And I let the guy do whatever he wants, and get hurt because of it, and feel like it's all my fault and it spirals from there. How's that for manipulative?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hate manipulation, I hate it when I do it and feel a horrible person when I realise I am doing but yes I do, I'm told I do, but I get angry and defensive when someone suggests I have done

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I have... and sometimes even with the intent of doing so.. not BPD but have depeloped a Dependent sort of PD over the years with my BPD wife. Not something I'm proud of but being aware and honest with oneself is the first step in awareness, improvement, etc.

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I have... and sometimes even with the intent of doing so.. not BPD but have depeloped a Dependent sort of PD over the years with my BPD wife. Not something I'm proud of but being aware and honest with oneself is the first step in awareness, improvement, etc.

and improvement is always possible!

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I have done in the past, I have also been the victim of it too which is where trust comes into it, People gain your trust and then manipulate you.

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