hummm_mabbe Posted January 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 lol k :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 Would we conclude this as the youngest child is more likely to suffer from a PD? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarabpd Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 well no cos we also need to ask the questions: are they the only child are they rich is there a big gap between siblings It may be that people can afford to be on the internet when a large majority are unable to afford the internet. Just a thought not an argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 There are no answers until a psych student writes a textbook? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 Who says that everyone who voted had a personality disorder? Theres plenty of people on here who dont I dont really know what it tells us to be honest. It SUGGESTS that people who are the youngest in a family MIGHT be more prone to MH problems, but its not a proof. Its just something to mull over. In my view, shit rolls downhill in a family, and so my gut feeling was that youngests might tend to get everyones shit, including the ones above. However that doesnt mean that people wont get 'shit rolling' from parents or immediately older siblings in the case of middles. I know, technical terms. Feeling subjugated or powerless is a common path to depression, so maybe its possible that being subjugated by both siblings and parents (if that is indeed what your family environment was like) leads more often to Mh problems, idea being that at least if you are subjugated by a parent, you can 'take it out on' a younger sibling and gain some sense of power that might soothe some of that sense of powerlessness. Not to say all older siblings would or even did do that, just a possibility. Cant really say anything for sure because there are thousands of other things to take into account, environmental, psychological and genetic. It was more out of interest that I posted the poll. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 I didnt wanna piss you ofgRoss I guess it is just about me. I am curious as to why the youngest sibling is the highest vote in the pool. I am the most fucked up in my family. I am sick of not knowing why. I guess, I think I wanted some answers, chances are I'm not gonna get any and this is painful, life-or-death painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 Hi smithy Not peed off at all! I must admit as the votes racked up and up, I did find myself thinking "oooo what are folks gonna make of this". Im not sure that theres necessarily that much for someone to take away in terms of recovery. Everyones struggles are unique to them, its not usually possible to tie it to any one thing. For me, I am starting to see that my issues come from the pervasive mood and attitude of my whole family, not just one person. There are not really any stand out incidents like brutal abuse or anything like that, though some examples that sort of exemplify the less-than-respectful attitude my family kind of represented. For me it was more overall patterns, threads that were woven throughout everything, and so are difficult to say "oh yes this one thing, it really fucked me up". Only way to get to what the problem really is, is to start with what you have now - the feelings you always get, the situations you always find yourself in, those 'cycles' that seem to repeat every so often. Its not so much a case of looking back and trying to find out whats relevant, because you cant really do that. You have to start with what is, right now, and then see what stuff from the past comes up as you work through it, talk about it. When a feeling comes up in present day, one thing you can try is to ask yourself the question "when i was little, did I ever feel this way back then?", or "when did this pattern start?". The only way you can find out whats relevant is by seeing what feelings come up around certain things. That will be unique for you, so dont let someone elses view of what causes MH problems push you into a corner. You are a unique person, and the answers will be unique to you too. Dunno if that helps any, or even if you wanted help ... I just sorta felt like the topic had triggered something off for you and wanted to try to help a bit .... Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 Hm going back and reading, i can see the way ive worded my first reply could be read as being a bit 'off', didnt mean it to at all, just badly phrased! Just to let everyone know am sorry if it came across iffy and I wasnt peed off when I wrote it lol. Think I just went a bit into engineer mode lol Huggles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 i replied to the other thread on this, didnt realise there was one here i dont exactly know what i am, which i have no doubt effected my stability there is atleast on older sibling on the f side, who iv never laid eyes on due to his rejection (coming from his mum) of me. there is atleast one older sibling on the m side, who i have met but was told she was a cousin. there are roumours there have been a couple more on the m side before and then 1 1/2 yr after me which knowing the stints i did with olther family members and in care wd make sence. i sometimes w=lived with other family memebers so grew up at times believing their step kids were my siblings, and then when with the m was just me on my own as if only child. i have no contant at all with my foo now. i have ace friends who are family now oh and i didnt vote cause there isnt an option that explains the above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 That all sounds super complicated Roxy, and painful too with the feelings of rejection Thank you for sharing and replying Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 That all sounds super complicated Roxy, and painful too with the feelings of rejection Thank you for sharing and replying Ross i think the confusions much worse than the rejection. for all i know i cd walk past biological family members every day of my life and id have no idea it was like having no connections to anything at all, which is hard to develope an identity in the middle of, so now i make my own connections to positive things and people im sure family arrangements can effect mh, but i think how the people within the familys treat you has bigger impact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hi Ross, I was browsing online (as bloody usual these days its about all i do lol) and i came across this article... thought u might be interested: How Birth Order Changes Your Life x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Oo thanks sanct I have the adventurous bit, but unfortunately not the other two I am a youngest. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfish Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I find this an interesting poll. I was also not surprised that the youngest child is what is coming out as being the highest! Over New Year I was visiting my parents and I found a book called First Child, Second Child on their shelves so I read it one night. Being a youngest child of four I read just the chapters on the youngest child and it was an interesting read. It seemed to describe what my life has been like down to a t. It was describing me exactly. One of the characteristics of a youngest child that struck me most from what they were saying is that we are likely to do things in extreme. In other words whatever we feel we will feel those things stronger than most people will. If we're into something we'll be well into it but if we're not interested we'll be so disinterested it'll be lethargic. When I was reading it I kept thinking bloody hell it took them 26 years to diagnose me as having BPD when in actual fact it could just be that I'm the youngest child! I'm sure that being the youngest isn't the only reason the way I am the way that I am but having read that book I am beginning to believe that aspects of BPD actually tie in very strongly with characteristics of a BPD personality. This poll seems to be backing up my thoughts on that also! The reason the book I was reading gave for the extremeness of youngest children is that often we have to fight to be seen or heard, especially when youngest of a larger family. Our older siblings will have done everything before us so by the time we get our first boyfriend/girlfriend, sit our school exams, leave for university etc it isn't as exciting for our parents because they have been through it all before. If we can't get our family interested in us by just doing the normal thngs everyone else does then we'll churn those things up or other things up to make a statement and get our parents interested in listening to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple-chick Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 hiya, well i was the eldest in my family, and all the shit always got blamed on me! so if my bro or sis had done something wrong and didnt own up, i would get punished my brother was the youngest, and was always and still is my dads favourite xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 Oldest, i have a younger sister and brother. I guess i was the one who should have known better, the rebel and the punishment taker while the others escaped it, it was nearly always my fault! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 The youngest, by a fair distance. The accident and mistake and shame of the family. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfish Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I got osme books out of the library this week on positions in the family. it is an interesting read. the more i read about it the more convinced i am that there is a link between bpd and the youngest family member. I understand and see that there are obviously people who aren't the youngest in their family but have BPD but looking at this poll there does seem to be quite a marked majority of us who are the youngest. Definitely worth looking into! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Oldest child. Always expected to show an example, when I got to 12/13 I looked after my younger brother and sister whilst my parents worked full time, they are five years younger. I also was expected to peel spuds ready for dinner. On Sundays my mother and I took it in turns to do either upstairs or downstairs, one week I would do the ironing on a Sunday night for a family of five the next week she would. My brother and sister being younger did nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 To add my sister is the youngest and suffers with depression, she copes by taking coke and smoking dope, she has also attempted suicide quite a few times. She is also someone who only interested in being with someone for money, my mother when it was just her and the sister spoilt her rotten - sis was 16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbow Tears Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I'm the oldest. Have a younger sister by 2 years. We're really close except neither of us are very good at opening up emotionally. I spent most of my life trying to protect her. It didn't really work as we both have mh issues xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momokani Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 I'm one of seven kids... Four older than me and two younger than me. Guess that makes me middle ish. Momokani Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbow Tears Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 O yer, forgot entirely that I have a (more than 10 year) older step-sis and step-bro. Both of them lived with us for a time - on separate occasions. They were alright. My step-dad gave em whatever they wanted, which my mum didn't like too much. But they've been out of my life for so long it didn't even occur to me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarabpd Posted February 15, 2010 Report Share Posted February 15, 2010 Interesting thread ross ty x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelodieDAme Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Hi. V interesting to read all the replies. I am a youngest child. I have 1 older bro and 1 old sister, 8 and 10 years older than me. My bro had some medical issues as a kid and my sister is the favourite. She is the one that has always done well and is most organised, most like my father etc. She and my bro would complain that I was the favourite and got spoilt, but I had a good relationship with them both. Sis used to spoil me as well and 'baby' me. I have felt over-controlled sometimes though. And again, if I achieve something, it's not like it hasn't already been done. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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