Jump to content
Mental Health Forums

Does My Boyfriend Have Ocd? Ocpd? Please Help!


sallysue

Recommended Posts

Hi,

My boyfriend told me a while ago that he used to suffer from OCD as a child, but says he is now over it. Ever since we first got together I've been quite confused by his personality and behaviour. He is incredibly hard working and obsessed with doing well and not letting his parents or tutors down. He is very rigid in his work schedule and finds spontaneity very difficult. We've been together a year and he has only come to see me on a whim once, despite living 15 mins walk away from each other. He also almost always rejects my offers of spontaneity, for example popping by on my way back from work for a quick cuppa, or staying at his house on a whim after neeting up with friends. I know he is busy with uni work but this is quite extreme! He also has a real problem staying at my house when he has to go to uni the next day as he says he needs to have the morning routine at his house and make sure he is all set up for the day. I can understand this but he is especially unnerved by a disruption to his routine. When he does stay over at the weekend, he always leaves really early, and if I manage to persuade him to have a lie in (on a sunday!), it is obvious he cannot relax because of what he might need to achieve that day. I have tried to encourage spontaneity and flexibility but to no avail. He is also very tidy and organised, keeping his desk and bedroom perfect. He is very conscious of what people think of his and is definitely what you may call a "people pleaser". Also, he finds it difficult to integrate me into big groups of friends. I think this is because he is worried about being able to please every one in these situations. He always makes a big effort in order to make people like him and I think he can find this exhausting.

It is difficult to not feel sometimes that he just doesn't want to spend time with me, as I don't really understand his behaviour or rigidity. I know he loves me and all the big stuff is there (meeting family etc) but I have just always had this underlying feeling of him not wanting to spend time with me outside the timetables slots, which can make me feel unloved/unneeded/unwanted It would be so helpful and reassuring if anyone has any comments or ideas about this? Thank you so much!

P.S. Sorry for the essay! I've just been worrying about this for ages!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My personal opinion is that he does seem to blatently have ocd. But that is exactly why you need not worry about things like thinking he doesn't want to spend time with you.

I don't really know much about OCD but what I can say is that you should try to not let it be a problem - he is who he is and I can't imagine it's easy to live with that, for either of you.

But i'm sure with some understanding you'll be able to adjust to it fine. Have you tried talking to him and have you researched more into the condition, I really think that would help a great deal.

Like I said before I don't really know the specifics of OCD - perhaps seeking professional help would also be of assistance.

I hope this helps a little, best of luck to you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

most of that sounds quite familiar to me, i was diagnosed with ocd 6 years ago. i cant stay at other peoples houses, i even find hospital too far away from my routine in my flat and i get very stressed about upsetting people. i prefer to talk by txt or online as then i can check what ive said and i get very worried about upsetting people. sometimes i go to far to try and please them and they take it the wrong way.

ocd can make you go to extremes to complete the compulsion, even to the extent of upsetting people who you care about

i think your fella could do with seeing his doctor. maybe you could write it all down to show the doc if he wouldnt want to say it out loud?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That sounds a lot like me actually. I hate doing things spontaneously. I just have to know what I'm doing and when or I get really stressed about the situation. It sounds like he's the same. With me, if I know a long time in advance that I'm having a lie in (like the previous weekend or something) then I'm more likely to do it unless something comes up in the meantime which is more important such as an essay or something like that but again, if it's not scheduled into the slot it gets abandoned until I have a slot for it to go into well in advance.

I think i have OCD although the doctors here are useless and wont even diagnose a cold or anything simple like that so it's hard to get diagnosed. I'd say try taking him to the doctors though to see if he can get help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...