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Discovery By Employer


Octavian10

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how is it possible that you tell us the story from the beginning then bring the police in, surely you've done something wrong. they cant just sack you because of your depression, but let you take time of until you are recovered.

at whatsoever none of us are actually being horrible but just give you little guidance which you will not accept. it looks like none of us are going to give you advice because you throw it back in our face. you need to help yourself.

ive said it all and im not saying this again.

i know for a fact everyone is getting angry and annoyed, and i used to be the way you were but it doesnt get any way to argue your point across it makes things worse. so if you've not got anything nice to say then whats the point in replying to the posts.

people are trying to help but your not letting them

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i give up trying to help

you seem to be the confrontational one to be honest

and right now i cannot deal with you when im trying to take positive steps to improve my life!

Good luck

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i give up trying to help

you seem to be the confrontational one to be honest

and right now i cannot deal with you when im trying to take positive steps to improve my life!

Good luck

Ok please tell me how I am confrontational?

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how is it possible that you tell us the story from the beginning then bring the police in,

surely you've done something wrong. they cant just sack you because of your depression, but let you take time of until you are recovered.

I have mentioned before I was sacked over a conduct issue. However, in the case of the police I am a complainant and not an accused.

at whatsoever none of us are actually being horrible but just give you little guidance which you will not accept.

All I am being told to do is to go back to institutions which have failed me.

it looks like none of us are going to give you advice because you throw it back in our face. you need to help yourself.

ive said it all and im not saying this again.

I have thrown nothing back because I have been offered no advice thus far---other than gestures about returning to the institutions which have failed me. I came here for help and support and I am not getting any.

i know for a fact everyone is getting angry and annoyed, and i used to be the way you were

I cannot help it if certain 'ist' elements get angry or annoyed.

but it doesnt get any way to argue your point across it makes things worse. so if you've not got anything nice to say then whats the point in replying to the posts.

people are trying to help but your not letting them

I am not here to say nice things. I have problems but am not getting any support for those problems. That is all I have said with a consistent policy.

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One thing that I have learnt in life that one needs to take responsibility for ones onw actions, I came off this thread and made a decision not to respond because I felt quite threatened by your remarks and didnt feel you were really wanting advice, only to create more evidence of how badly you get treated by everyone.

Its a good place to get into some form of confrontation on a website where people have their own emotional needs including sometimes issues with anger.

If you are really serious about dealing with your issues then I think that going and getting professional help and therapy for anger issues would help you in any future encounters with this forum, your future employers and you union.

I am offering this advice as I really want to help, but beleive me if you take it or leave it or even quote it back to me its no skin off my nose as I dont intend to return to your thread.

Please have a think about what you actually want and what responsibility you have for getting it xx

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please admin lock this thread

You are being confrontational by throwing our suggestions in our faces

you seem to expect us to give you every answer, which we cannot do. You have to take responsibility.

There are people on this forum doing their best to help you, even when they are going through crap themselves, probably struggling to cope with keeping themselves safe but being selfless enough to still try and help you. Which is what we at this site do - support EACH OTHER!!!

We do not need every suggestion being thrown in our faces, especially as (take me for example)

im struggling to keep sane, do a degree, go from being abused, berevements, suffering anxiety and an eating disorder and some days cannot get out of BED!!! Thats to name a few: im going through this and still persisted to help you and got your nasty comments back. And im sure people here will agree that this thread should be locked, as you're never going to accept our help just be awkward!!!!!!

I dont care if i get negative points for this, as i love the guys here and think your being quite unreasonable towards them!!!

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Hi Octavian,

I have just read through this whole thread.

You have come here asking a specific question to a specific problem, the members here have kindly replied with suggestions to the best of their own knowledge and experience, which you say you have tried already.

Now after all that, what is it you exactly expect from the members here that the previous (fully trained and expert) organisations you have already tried couldn't offer?

Aurora :)

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I think it is indeed buried, deep and pervasive anger issues at the heart of this person's problems. The anger may indeed be valid and a therapist would most certainly be able to tease out the wheat from the chaff. However, when anger gets to a certain point, it becomes destructive and everyone gets thrown in the barrel of 'you are all against me'.

Octavian, you issues are complex, however you are not the first nor the last to go through what is happening with you. You are not alone and most, if not all, people who suffer with mental health issues, find some small comfort from that.

Take to heart the clear message that while there may be no one here right now who knows exactly what you are going through, somewhere, someone will be going through the same.

Nothing is new under the sun. Whatever is happening to you has happened before and will happen again. You may benefit from radical acceptance and letting go. Create a new life for yourself. Leave area, get a job you enjoy and stop fighting for a minute. And most importantly, DEAL with that anger.

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please admin lock this thread

Can I second this please?

I read the post after the first couple of responses and was going to reply but didnt as I read the responses and thought the person was being very rude. I am now really glad I didnt. I came back out of the genuine desire to help, hoping that they had calmed down a little, or at least realised how they were coming across and changed their attitude. But that has not happened. I read through the entire thread and am ashamed to admit that just reading the confrontational posts that this person has wrote has actually really frightened and upset me, and I havent even been involved.

To Octavian10. This board is for people to support each other. Not for everyone to support you. These people are not mind readers and therefore could not know that you had already done those things. It doesnt matter wether their advice actually helped you or not, it is still advice. Just because you have already done these things does not stop it from being advice, and does not change the fact that these people have tried to help you. So you cant say that you have not recieved any advice because you have. Many people on this board, myself included, have fragile mental states and having you refute everything they try to say could easily upset people. Like I said, this board is for us to support each other, these people have tried to support you. The decent thing to do would be to bear in mind that we are all suffering, and to try and support them by not automatically rejecting everything that they say; as rejection, in any form, can be very hurtfull.

I agree with santuary. I think the best thing to do would be to let go and start a new life somewhere else. Staying in the situation you are now is obviously causing you a lot of hurt. But you might also have to accept the possibility that you cant win this. Wether you were wrongfully fired or not. You seem to be putting all of your energy in to this and not getting anywhere. Sometimes it is just better to back down.

It is your thread. And you can reply if you like but I am at a rather low point just now and confrontation is a major trigger for me. So please note that if you say anything hurtfull or offensive towards me then I will report you.

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I think it is indeed buried, deep and pervasive anger issues at the heart of this person's problems. The anger may indeed be valid and a therapist would most certainly be able to tease out the wheat from the chaff.

Yes I am angry because I have been let down by various institutions. And I feel that my requests for support here are not being reciprocated.

However, when anger gets to a certain point, it becomes destructive and everyone gets thrown in the barrel of 'you are all against me'.

I have never said that.

Octavian, you issues are complex, however you are not the first nor the last to go through what is happening with you. You are not alone and most, if not all, people who suffer with mental health issues, find some small comfort from that.

I will let this one pass because it is not comforting to know that there are other people who are in a similar situation.

Take to heart the clear message that while there may be no one here right now who knows exactly what you are going through, somewhere, someone will be going through the same.

Nothing is new under the sun. Whatever is happening to you has happened before and will happen again.

That is probably right but does not do much to improve my situation.

You may benefit from radical acceptance and letting go.

What should I accept ? My dehumanisation?

Create a new life for yourself. Leave area, get a job you enjoy and stop fighting for a minute. And most importantly, DEAL with that anger.

The police and the IPCC issues are still ongoing and will not go away even if I move or get a job I enjoy. I do not know how to deal with this anger.

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I read the post after the first couple of responses and was going to reply but didnt as I read the responses and thought the person was being very rude. I am now really glad I didnt. I came back out of the genuine desire to help, hoping that they had calmed down a little, or at least realised how they were coming across and changed their attitude. But that has not happened. I read through the entire thread and am ashamed to admit that just reading the confrontational posts that this person has wrote has actually really frightened and upset me, and I havent even been involved.

But I have not made any personal attacks against you or anyone else. You do not have to come to this thread at all. I still do not see why this thread should be locked.

To Octavian10. This board is for people to support each other. Not for everyone to support you. These people are not mind readers and therefore could not know that you had already done those things. It doesnt matter wether their advice actually helped you or not, it is still advice. Just because you have already done these things does not stop it from being advice, and does not change the fact that these people have tried to help you. So you cant say that you have not recieved any advice because you have.

All I have said in response is that the institutions to which I am being referred have failed me.

Many people on this board, myself included, have fragile mental states and having you refute everything they try to say could easily upset people.

You do not have to read anything I write.

Like I said, this board is for us to support each other, these people have tried to support you. The decent thing to do would be to bear in mind that we are all suffering, and to try and support them by not automatically rejecting everything that they say; as rejection, in any form, can be very hurtfull.

I do not agree because I reserve my right to reply to any post.

I agree with santuary. I think the best thing to do would be to let go and start a new life somewhere else. Staying in the situation you are now is obviously causing you a lot of hurt. But you might also have to accept the possibility that you cant win this. Wether you were wrongfully fired or not. You seem to be putting all of your energy in to this and not getting anywhere. Sometimes it is just better to back down.

Capitulation is always an option but not my best option at present.

It is your thread. And you can reply if you like but I am at a rather low point just now and confrontation is a major trigger for me. So please note that if you say anything hurtfull or offensive towards me then I will report you.

You are quick to take offence. As I have suggested before, it is not as if I were emailing you. Therefore please try and keep away from this thread and you wont feel hurt.

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i mean why are the police involved,

you dont give us much info

every story has 2 sides to it

aries hun, i think you really need to try to let this thread out of your head, and forget about him. you have tried to help, and that's all you did. you are not a bad person, you are an amazing person, who was just trying to help somebody.

you need to look after yourself, and when it is affecting your well being you need to please try to take a step back away from the situation and look after yourself. please please try to put it out of your head. you are number one. look after YOU!

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