Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 That was aimed at me DJJK. Manja Ive been up with my cat all night he is very hurt,fell yesterday and weve been to the vet. Ive been sleeping a few hours just now,as Im exhausted,I just woke up and was checking into this thread right away,thought Ill look at PMs after. It hurts me you asume I dont care. Ill go read your pm now and respond there. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 well you wanted to know so at least you would know what you wanted to know so that would have made sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 but hey i obviously should not have told anyone i was in the middle of an overdose that night, as i wasn't even looking for help anyway, and then they just ended up getting me thinking about what i was doing and i 'saw sense' and got help and stopped before i took any of the rest of the pills, and before i done myself a lot of damage or worse. but since i shouldn't have said what i'd done, and they wouldn't have been able to do what i had done, and then i would have been achieved what i'd set out to do, and you all certainly would have been a lot happier now since you wouldn't have to sit here reading a lot of irrational crazy talk from a psycho drama-queen, and hey everyone would have been happier wouldn't they. so point taken. all the best now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Manja, please don't think like that. Like I have said to you, the same happened to me, and I really do believe that people saved my life here. If and when there is a next time, I will come here and post and just pray it doesn't get deleted, cos then no one will be able to help me. But, if you feel that you can't post now, then pm me, I will answer you and try to help, regardless of my feelings. Downside to that though is if I'm not logged on. I'm sure others will let you pm them if you can't post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I get your point I think,you where helped when in the midts of oding and it might have saved your life,thats a big thing! I see how to you it means cutting people off when they need help the most! When they are in danger! That makes perfect sense. I dont think were going to agree on this,we believe the same could have been accomplished by you posting you where in a bad state and worried about doing something bad or whatever. On another note,if people do in their distress or confusion post about current sh there wont be any reprimands,we will simply remove it and pm about it and express our concern via pm. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 HH, you have my contact details now. i will always be here for you, no matter whether i am a part of this site or not. and i'm sorry but i can't help thinking like that, cos that's the way my head works, cos it seems really logical to me, even if they think i'm really crazy for it. take care hun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Manja I dont think youre crazy or a drama queen. Just because we dont agree doesnt mean we think youre crazy. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 we believe the same could have been accomplished by you posting you where in a bad state and worried about doing something bad or whatever. Lilly i fully respect your belief, however you 'believe' that to be the case, i know with certainty that it isn't. i don't see how the same could have been accomplished by me lying. i wasn't even fit to lie at the time anyhow, so whether or not i would have been able to get the same result by me telling a pack of lies is irrelevant in this case anyhow, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Wow, I didn't read this again since my original post last night. Just to clear a few points up: I am fully versed on the rules of this site as I used to be a mini-mod myself. I am saying I don't agree and that there should be a separate section (like Daisy's) for help with SH at the source. Yes, looking at past action is helpful but my understanding of the CBT model is you need to try and crack the cycle of pain at whatever stage you can, so if that means talking whilst doing or near to doing then that is better than not talking at all. Ideally we would be able to break the cycle earlier but many of us don't have the coping skills stop and say "well that triggered me I'll just pop on over to so and so's thread and go have a bath or a ping an elastic band on my arm and I'll be fine" so what happens to those of us in that place? Those of us who aren't at that stage and are still trying to identify triggers or can't control them? You are effectively saying "go away and come back and talk afterward" There is NO confusion. It doesn't help us to stop does it? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I am saying I don't agree and that there should be a separate section (like Daisy's) for help with SH at the source. i agree completely, but apparently we should go to the emergency room instead, but if its anything like i was that time, why would i be doing that when i had to succeed in what i was doing. hey i only came on here to wish everyone all the best for the future since i wouldn't be about anymore, and say thanks for the support they had provided me with over the last while, and stuff like that was my reason for coming here that night. and people read between the lines and i ended up admitting what i had done, and whatever. but no just go to the emergency room. so what happens to those of us in that place? my impression is that do anything you want but just don't come here with cos it only will upset people. hey i'm sure they'd be even more upset to know aftewards the harm you'd done cos you couldn't express yourself, but whatever. You are effectively saying "go away and come back and talk afterward" yeah exactly. thats just hoping that they're still about to come back and talk about it afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I think weve all made clear our viewpoints here,I dont think there is anything to add from my side. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 yeah and unfortunately whatever you say goes. who cares what's in others interests. i even have other people messaging me now saying how they feel the same, and aren't able to express it here for fear of confrontation, and saying that they think there's so many more people it affects than the mods realise. but hey, whatever goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I think weve all made clear our viewpoints here,I dont think there is anything to add from my side. Lilly And so the matter is closed it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted March 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 What we ARE saying is : "Do everything you can to deal with the thoughts you're having. Call a help line.Use you coping skills, watching TV, ice, walks, baths.Call your crisis team or CMHT.Send a message to a staff member on the forums." At this particular point, I feel that all I can do is repeat things that have already said. As Lilly stated earlier - "I am in a really shit place and everything sucks right now, I don't know how to cope or deal with it" - that's fine. "I'm sitting on the edge of the bath-tub doing x,y,z because everything is so fucked up" - why do people need to know the details? they can't assist you with that - what they can assist you with is the way you're feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I think weve all made clear our viewpoints here,I dont think there is anything to add from my side. Lilly And so the matter is closed it seems. so it seems. nothing further to discuss then really Bimo is there. judgement has been given and nothing that can be done about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 As Lilly stated earlier - "I am in a really shit place and everything sucks right now, I don't know how to cope or deal with it" - that's fine. or in my previous case as far as i was concerned at the time, i knew exactly how to cope or deal with it, and in my head i thought i had made the best decision ever. i didn't think anything sucked or i was in a shit place. i thought i was in the best place i had been in months, as i had made the best decision ever, and i was going to make things better both for me, and for everyone in my life. so "I am in a really shit place and everything sucks right now, I don't know how to cope or deal with it" wouldn't really have been true, and yeah i'll just go and have a bath or all the rest of it, no i was actually quite busy doing what i thought to be the best decision i'd made in my whole life. sorry you don't seem to understand that, although actually really really delighted for you that you don't. i truly am. but yeah have a bath vs watch tv vs do what my irrational mind is telling me is the best decision i've ever made, and the best thing for all involved. a, b, or c, i know which i'd pick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Hi Can i make a suggestion?Maybe a silly one i don't know I do feel for those in crisis and i can kind of get what HH and Manja are saying so why not create a forum and have it password protected?so those can really choose whether to read and post in there or not?I have seen this on many forums and it does work.xxxxxxx you suggest a really good idea, and here's hoping that they stop to consider it for a couple of minutes, instead of just keep telling people to lie instead. i know that they apparently don't get it, but 'come on!' cheeers Eternal. much appreciated. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 At this particular point, I feel that all I can do is repeat things that have already said. and yeah says it all, no point really in listening to people, really hearing them, discussing options that might be for people's benefit, trashing ideas about just for the heck of it, nah not at all. no point in that. let the people suffer. hell yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Just an observation: How is saying "I did X, Y, Z, last night" so vastly different to "I am doing X, Y, Z"? I know that, personally, I would rather be able to help the people I care about during a crisis rather than have to wait until after the fact when, quite frankly, there's no more to be done until the next time. There's no point closing the gate after the horse has bolted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 We consider things you guys say,wheter you believe that or not. But we still think were doing whats in the best interest of everyone,we are not a crisis intervention forum,we are a peersupport forum. We care about all of you,sheez Im on here day and night for no money,I have self harmed myself loads in the past I do know what we are talking about here.It hurts my feelings that just because we have different viewpoint you guys asume we dont care somehow or dont worry about people hurting themselves badly. Most forums dont allow any ention of SH. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Just an observation: How is saying "I did X, Y, Z, last night" so vastly different to "I am doing X, Y, Z"? I know that, personally, I would rather be able to help the people I care about during a crisis rather than have to wait until after the fact when, quite frankly, there's no more to be done until the next time. There's no point closing the gate after the horse has bolted. i agree with you more than words could even begin to describe, and it would hurt me so much knowing that i hadn't been able to help someone just cos of something like this (nice words), but i have to try to take a back step now, cos jesus christ the something on this thread is beyond appalling. i will try my best to take a step back, if i don't then i've not succeeded obviously. but hey i'm trying not to let them win. and i won't. they want to win. but they wont' kill me no matter how hard they try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted March 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Pain and suffering is relative to the individual - as is the way they deal with it. There is no way I can understand how you suffer, just the way I have and do and the way I deal with it now vs. the way I used to deal with it. I'm sorry if you feel I've tried to invalidate you in any way, you have a right to your pain and to deal with it the way you choose. Whilst a member of this site, however, there are terms and conditions you agree to - some that you may not agree with entirely, but just are. To paraphrase Voltaire "I may not agree with your views, but I will defend your right to hold them" That is as much as I can offer - This debate could continue forever, because the crux of it is, you don't agree with the rule. I don't agree with my bank charges, but they are the way they are! Kx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I don't agree with my bank charges, but they are the way they are! Kx AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 DJJK, the ACTUAL crux of the matter is that we don't agree wholly (I understand it's purpose) with the rule and the Administration and Moderators do so to hell with what we think, you're the bosses. This makes a mockery of what Lilly describes as a "Peer Support" forum, And Lilly, the fact that you don't get paid for what you do here is entirely irrelevant. If it matters to you that your role as Supervisor is an unpaid one, then don't do it. Pointing out that you don't get paid has no significance to this topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Oh yes eternal but that isnt possible the system doesnt allow for password protected forums Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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