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I have read this post over and over and been wanting to type,I am not so sure if this fits this topic but i am sure it does.

I have used internet forums for almost 3 years and i have seen some people lie,I trusted 1 person in particular who meant so much to me,I was warned over and over again about this girl how she would set out to hurt me but would i have it "NO"I cherished her,I find it so hard to trust anyway,She acts all sweet and innocent on forums but in fact she is a bear faced liar,I put up with this for almost 3 years,She would tell me almost everytime i had a convo with her that "she loved me" I now believe it is a lie,She joined another forum and the more i think about it,I think it is because she gained friendship there so she dumped me (again i was warned about this).

She even openly admitted to me that she was a fake online,I now think she was a fake to me too,3 years wasted just like that,She had the cheek to call me "an attention seeker" If only people knew what she was really like,I could go on.

I do have my doubts about people now online,I know everyone is not the same,I am not out to judge anyone at all,I have just had a gut full of a person who i thought was a genuine friend.

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never thought it was judgmental

thought it was risky but vital

skeletons need to come out of cupboards if they are to be got rid of

it is intensly challenging for everyone

but that doesnt mean it should be hidden and denied

we all have different reasons behind what we do - it is often hard for us to accept or understand

how do people make up bare-faced lies and tell others?

no idea!!!!

the TERROR of being found out inside 'me' is SO HORRIFYING that we are simply too afraid to try it

- that - perhaps - is a terror rooted deep in our past - as a very tiny child doing ANYTHING that would tip the balance of peace in our home - that quivered on a presipice at all times

but the longing to 'have something wrong - or real - ' oh we know that one

so how far apart are the ' need' and the 'deed'

the infantile jealousy we feel when someone gets attention for their crisis (real or invented) - or for their successes, achievements) - is so overwhelming it can literally consume physically and mentally until we are bent over in pain and almost sick (TRUE)

it can fill the head with such rage/desire/passion/frustration/ - well indeed feelings beyond words - the feelings of a tiny 'speechless' child when they NEED THEIR MOTHERS ATTENTION NOW and all they can do is curl up and scream

if THAT is the intensity others feel when they need help - attention - to feel cared for - TO MATTER - TO BE HEARD

then

for Gods sake

we must understand

How do people make up qualificataions - lie about their experience - claim to be what the are not - when applying for jobs

HOW ????

we would NEVER EVER do that - couldnt

but then we will say we are no good at anything - we will look at the world outside and are filled with failure and INABILITY

yet we have degrees, we can communicate in some ways,

so

are WE not lying, about OUR abilities

(head is currently screaming no no no you are a useless bitch a nothing you were crap at your job you failed)

but on paper that is not true

- the real issue

is how our lies affect others and ourselves

like toaster says

clawing sympathy and concern over things that simply are not true

taking crucial time and resources

- causing others undue pain, upset, anger

we may understand 'WHY' but that DOES NOT MEAN WE CONDONE the lies

the whole of life is 'games' between humans

games - needs - desires - compulsions

WE NEED OUR EXISTENCE ACKNOWLEDGED - we need it like we need food and water

and when that need is not or has not been, fulfilled - we become desperate, frantic,

it is a triggering topic as it is so close to our hearts

for some of us - probably many of us here - we live day in day out with a head screaming liar liar

(apologies for long-winded rant - which still seems unclear

- we DESPISE lies - )

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I wrote a long reply, but lost it - so I will do an out line one.

People lie for lots of reasons.

Attention seeking commonly has such a negative judgemental behaviour,that people may lie to protect themselves and get a need they feel fulfilled.But cos its not the real need, they keep lying.

Sometimes it is a manipulative tool.

We may never find out the actual truth, some people may not trust their own truth.

Try and remember that people are at different stages of their life - some are where you were a few years back.

We cant change the people, but we can change how we behave.

There's the old saying, only lend the money you can afford to lose. I would include emotional investment in it too.

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