CrippleAndStarfish Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 so, despite feeling like a bleugh with words today, it seems i'm having no problem clogging up the forums with my posts!!!! I was wondering, I know we want to recover, want to be better.... but I appreciate that the idea of recovery for one person may be completely different to anothers idea of recovery, so i've decided to be nosey. what does recovery, what does being better mean to you? what does it involve? Crip xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Have got lots of thoughts on this, and in my usual thinkie way, I actually think that a persons concept of recovery can actually sometimes be driven by their illness. An example is me - I used to think that recovery meant becoming a super charming, sexy stud, massively successful, never anxious, and who everyone thought "What a guy" (a bit like Ace Rimmer). I wanted to be that bloke all the women wanted, and all the guys wanted to be. I saw therapy's purpose as getting rid of my anxiety and depression, making me super calm and cool under fire. Happiness was to be the day the Nobel Prize ended up in my hand or the first million hit my bank, just at the same time as the UK's Top Entrepreneur Award landed on my HUGE mantlepiece. Sounds like I am joking, but am really not. That is all the opposite of what i felt / feel I am in many ways - anxious, fearful, awkward, socially inept, childish etc etc. So unfortunately my idea of recovery was actually just my compensation for feeling dreadful. Thats what lead to my getting better and then relapsing after a huge CBT breakthrough back in 2003, and why now I am such a big fan of acceptance. I tend to think now that I may not know what recovery is until I am 'in it', or perhaps its actually simply the point where you stop thinking you need to be anything other than what you are right now. Thats just me though ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdagger82 Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 I guess for me recovery means being able ot go out to dinner with friends without freaking at what i am eating, being able to go out to a bar or club and not freak because there are too many people. I want to be able to funcation and get the confidence back that i had when i was at uni before i a was ill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 who everyone thought "What a guy" (a bit like Ace Rimmer). That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 for me it would mean that i feel steady...not up and down all the time, and that i would be consisitent in the way im feeling.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 who everyone thought "What a guy" (a bit like Ace Rimmer). That is all. 'barrassed now lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 who everyone thought "What a guy" (a bit like Ace Rimmer). That is all. 'barrassed now lol Don't be! Red Dwarf rocks! "Smoke me a kipper, skipper." *Ceases to ruin this serious thread* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Don't be! Red Dwarf rocks! "Smoke me a kipper, skipper." *Ceases to ruin this serious thread* Hehe love that show I suppose coming back to what i said though, a bit of that is still alive in me even now. I do catch myself lusting after riches and unlimited success, and it panics me when i read about people who have been successful. Even watching documentaries about great scientists like Einstein - as ridiculous as it sounds, I still have this sensation of "thats what I should have been". Thats what I always thought I had to be to be 'good enough'. I am seeing that real connection and meaningful relationships fill a much bigger hole that was always there, but nonetheless, there is still a craving. Hmm stuff to bring up with new therapist ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 I guess for me recovery means being able ot go out to dinner with friends without freaking at what i am eating, being able to go out to a bar or club and not freak because there are too many people. I want to be able to funcation and get the confidence back that i had when i was at uni before i a was ill. I think you will, so often if it was there before you can find a way back May not feel like it now though ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 for me it would mean that i feel steady...not up and down all the time, and that i would be consisitent in the way im feeling.xx Having inner huggliment :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 inner hugglement would be nice i would like to feel strong on my own..and not need acceptance from others ect.but i always do. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 being real being free being one person being able to look ahead and not cry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 being real being free being one person being able to look ahead and not cry omg that's beautiful xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 ty wish we were not so far away from it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 For me it involves a number of the same things as Ross. I hate the way I look, particularly the fact that I'm over weight, but I lack the motivation to do anything about it. For me recovery would allow me to have to commitment to bettering myself, to lose weight through regular exercise and healthy eating, to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. Another aspect of what recovery would mean to me, connected to the ideas of self-respect, would be to be able to stand up for myself when the need arises. I don't mean to be cocky, or arrogant, but to be able to defend myself when there is genuine need to, particularly in the work arena. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 ty wish we were not so far away from it ((((((((((walker))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 OK I am just gonna throw this out there, I don't know how much sense it will make. For me, it will change from year to year. So when I was 18, after a long period of upheaval I made some big changes, and felt recovered. Then later on, I get unwell again, and so on and so on. So for the moment. To me I am doing the best I can I am stable on meds, and in a relationship, and content. I am also on my 3rd therapist and due to change again as my current is retiring. So I suspect that I will process that bit of therapy, and then the next stage, and what I feel is recovered will probably change again. And I see this as a long term process. I dont know if any of that made sense. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillv Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 For me recovery would be loving myself forgiving myself accepting the way things were/are and learning to feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 I don't know what recovery would mean for me. the re at the beginning sounds like its about getting back to how things were but i don't think things were ever really right. even before i got depressed i was so shy and scared. if i did get back to that maybe you could say i'd recovered from depression but if i'm feeling shy and scared of everything and everyone theres probably always a chance the depression will come back. so I dont think i want to recover, i want to overcome? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 yes emma yes going back to what others saw as 'well' - is NOT the answer when we felt wrong from the very beginning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 The ideal of recovery for me is:being able to have real (i.e. not just online) friends who I can trust and have fun withfinding it easier to live a healthy lifestylehaving a happier marriage The reality of recovery is turning out to fall far short of this - its about depression and anxiety not being so severe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 OK I am just gonna throw this out there, I don't know how much sense it will make. For me, it will change from year to year. So when I was 18, after a long period of upheaval I made some big changes, and felt recovered. Then later on, I get unwell again, and so on and so on. So for the moment. To me I am doing the best I can I am stable on meds, and in a relationship, and content. I am also on my 3rd therapist and due to change again as my current is retiring. So I suspect that I will process that bit of therapy, and then the next stage, and what I feel is recovered will probably change again. And I see this as a long term process. I dont know if any of that made sense. lol I think that makes total sense and agree - your view of recovery changes alongside your own change Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules7 Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Really good question, I guess for me it means being able to like myself and get though a day without bursting into tears or hurting myself in some way. I want to be able to be able to wake up in the morning and be happy I'm alive, and actually have people in my life who care about enough to stay no matter how hard i try to push them away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 For me it means acceptance - acceptance of the past, acceptance of the things i can and cannot change (and of course, knowing the difference ). Accepting I have a choice somewhere in it all. Accepting I can't control everything, and nor should I try. Accepting I may always feel some level of pain, but that's ok - I choose how to respond to that. Allow the tears to flow, the smiles to happen and all that stuff in between. I'm a human. Not a robot. Good topic :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 i was looking through my previous posts and found one where i had answered this question before back in August 2010, so nearly a year ago... i had already formulated my answer to this post before looking and i actually expected it to be different, was quite surprised that it wasnt that far off... anyway... here it is... i guess recovery is a personal thing dependant upon the issues one suffers from... so for me it would be fully reconnecting with my feelings and emotions, being able to express them in healthy ways at the time that they are being experienced and becoming emotionally mature enough to hold down meaningful relationships with people... it would also be having the ability, self esteem and indeed confidence to comfortably be who i am and not who i think people want me to be... (obviously once i have worked out who i actually am lol)... i would also like to live in the "now", not worry about the future or the past... for those interested here's the other topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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