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Oc Hoarding


Jelly-bean

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i have just watched a programme on channel 4 called OC hoarding,

i wonder if anyone else got to see this tonight ?

i'm not a very tidy person myself and i related to richard, i do find it hard to let go of things, the simplest of things, i do feel that we live in a throw away society, i got angry at how his village attacked Richards issues,

building a fence around the eye sore.... blocking him out-isolating him further, it made me angry and hurt for him,

the most heart warming thing was that one man offered a hand, and in doing so was able to build a friendship up to a very lost and lonely man that needed help and understanding....

bringing others out of the village to help also and although his progress will be slow, Richard can now see that he needs therapy this made me cry for him and i wish him well on his journey to heal

its helped me to look at some of the things i do too...

did anyone else watch this and what are your thoughts?

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I meant to record this and watch it later on,

so am a bit annoyed with myself for forgetting but will prob dig it up on 4ondemand and watch it tomorrow.

Will come back to this thread when i seen it Jelly to say more

x

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Link: http://www.channel4.com/programmes/obsessive-compulsive-hoarder

article-2076822-0F37317700000578-234_634

I found the program fascinating but hard to watch.

The state of this man's home was just mind-blowing. I am surprised he managed to get the camera crew and the firemen to come in after him. I would feel so claustrophobic, trapped in those narrow spaces!

I felt sorry for him. I thought it also brought up some interesting ethical dilemnas. The psychologist put the choice firmly with Mr Wallace, when Mr Wallace didn't sound ready to engage, he wasn't interested. But the thing is, the psychologist was too direct and didn't offer what the neighbour could offer: encouragement, support and guidance. When he said that he wasn't going to abandon him and would carry on helping him, I thought that was brilliant.

But the big thing was... you can't just say its his choice and let him slip back into his old ways, you have to challenge him constantly and push him. But I guess its knowing how much to push and when. I think the neighbour/gardener would make a good mental health worker

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I thought it was a really interesting programme and it was so heart warming to see how that one man broke away from the rest of the village to give practical help, friendship and support and then this led to others in the village also offering to support.

I think this man has a lot of therapy work ahead of him but I sort of felt hopeful when I saw he has people to help and support him.

M x

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i think it also showed how people view mh illness as a no go area the publican said because he saw Richard as a having mental health issues he would be staying well clear of him ggggrrr!!! not needed ...

also the bully tactics they tried in the begining made me shuder and recall times of where i used to live.... and how those people around me used to treat my family for being a bit different ....

erm have to say my old back garden wasn't as bad as richards but not that far from it at all ..

i don't feel that Richard needed pushing but to understand how he feels about his hoarding, how every bit of it has as he thought meaning to him something that he needed help letting go of, maybe asking him how much a bit of wood or bag of paper really meant to him and how much if at all would he miss it and progress from there maybe?

i did think that the gardener were helpful to a point ... when i were told omg how can you live like that it makes you feel disgusting like you mean to be that way its a slow slope downwards, and you do start to beleave that you need the items, that you can deal with it hey no one comes to visit any ways why not have it how you want or beleave you want to surround your self with things or it just becomes the daily thing

survival living day to day

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Jelly-bean your post reminded me of my back garden when I was unwell. A friend finally came round to clear it and we found a bench and table we had forgotten about and my son's missing school blazer. It really is quite easy to let mess and chaos run away with you.

M x

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when it came to doing my garden i got help off of the council they ordered a skip for me and me and my son did the whole garden in a day well i also rang up a metals collections man as well and we had three nights of bonfires which i did not enjoy seeing all that wasted wood go up in smoke not because of the attachment but what it ment to the enviroment ..... i recycled all i could as i have a thing about recycling ....

i also let a man take a lot of good wood home with him maybe another hoarder lol

i had run out of friends or anyone who wanted to help me .... but we did do it and now im in a new place i am trying not to let this garden look like my last one, i have to ask myself do i really need it ? and be quick in getting rid of it now ..... :)

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I think our house is like a mild version of the house in the documentary. However the complication with us is: its not just me living on my own. We'd all have to change our ways.

And people don't change until they are ready. Richard was starting to make noises about being ready to change, thats why it was successful. If they went to him a couple of years earlier they might have been rebuffed.

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Fab programme, I agree with everyone above - it gave a snapshot of how our society views and deals with MH issues.

The neighbour was a lovely, gentle compassionate guy, especially compared to the direct, clinical therapist xxxxxxxxxx

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I thought Richard was great. The landscape gardener was fantastic.

Other than the Britain in Bloom people, I didnt feel he was being judged harshly. I did love it when the villagers helped clear the garden, and I didnt hear one person be repulsed or judgemental of Richards standard of living.

Two things made my heart sing; one, was someone saying that a hot meal was made for Richard each day, and the other was when Richard was laughing and was talking of his friends.

His life is changing, and he is part of a community again.

(I didnt like the therapist.)

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Watched it at last!

This was a brilliant programme and i too felt for Richard, but agree that nothing could really be done until he admitted he had a problem.

If the psychologist had agreed with helping Richard set up storage for his stuff then i think he would have been enabling Richards problem as he wouldn't be having to deal with or look at it constantly, so nothing could really be done until he himself wanted to clear some of it.

I thought the gardeners approach was brilliant too, saying that he would offer help but the ball would be in Richards court as to whether he accepted or not, thereby giving the control to Richard and not belittling him by just wanting to take over.

I was disgusted by the whole britain in bloom group as to me it just brings up how certain people want to paper over the cracks in society and pretend they don't exist, rather than getting to know people on the outskirts who don't have mainstream views, and finding out what makes them tick.

I understand the emotional attachment that can be put on objects and only recently started challenging and getting rid of some of my stuff.

But it doesn't have to be a wasteful thing (to clear out) as a lot of stuff can got to charity shops to be reused and resold, broken clothes can be turned into cleaning rags and the recycling bins that are around can make us feel a less guilty over not being able to keep and reuse something.

But yeah great programme, and wish Richard all the best in dealing with his hoarding problem.

x

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  • 6 months later...

i have dug this one out, as the follow up was on channel 4 tonight, i have my own thoughts but would love to hear all of yours to the on going richard story .... :)

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Hi Jelly

This documentary made me cry :(

simply because I can relate. I'm nowhere near as bad but I do hoard stuff. I am moving out next week with a car from the flat in France I've lived in for 6 years. I've gone through 4 rolls of big bin bags throwing stuff out and given the rest away. I am down to 5 boxes. it was really hard to get rid of a lot of it.

Hope you're ok

Starry xxx

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As I said on the other topics ( and ), its a complicated issue:

  • I feel for Richard. His life is obviously hell and just the thought of anyone climbing through those narrow tunnels and cooking amongst all that paper makes me cringe. He obviously has deep-seated issues - probably from his childhood - that are causing him ho hoard, and those are not being addressed.
  • I feel for the neighbours. Whilst some of them had bad attitudes, one of them changed and started helping him - the man who said he would put a match to the house - which I thought was fantastic. The people spreading gossip about Andy's motives and complaining about who pays for the transport were out of order. But then again, I would not like the view from my house to consist of rubbish and old cars. If you are a homeowner (which I am), it can devalue your property significantly.
  • I feel for Andy Honey. I thought he had genuine motives and you can see he cares about Richard. But you can also see that he wants to get a sense of satisfaction out of it, like all alturists he does partly to make himself feel better. And what he wants is the house cleared - but is that what Richard wants? I thought at times he was verging on bullying.

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i feel that giving richard a family back far out weighs the misrery and loneliness of years past for richard although andy needs to read up on mh issues, and listen to richards pdoc, to understand that richard is not looking for space in his life he is looking for life, and only agrees with andy because of the bond he has with andy,

it lifted my heart to see richard visiting andy eating properly and socializing,

andy did come off as pushy but i can see that he don't really have an understanding on richards hoarding, although andy didn't just throw the papers away after storage, with richards agreement they were taken away to do just what richard had in mind for the paper all along .....

i feel that hopefully by watching this and many more like it docu's will help joe bloggs out there to more understand that its not as clean cut as taking things away, clearing it all up and everything will be alright, not as easy as pulling your socks up, putting a smile on your face.... and all the other well ment or rather ignorant views, that don't help .....

i wish there were more like andy and his family in this world.....

many a time in the past i have lost friends because my house were untidy, i wasn't happy but needed help and understanding, if only one of my friends had just got there marigolds on and got stuck in, instead of turning there back on me and making me feel more of an outcast ..... i don't know if it would have helped maybe it would have and i know it is a lot to do with me im not blaming them ...

just a little understanding goes far i say ....

i have even seen others in the same sort of boat struggling, and seen that others don't help they hinder the healing process by making these people feel bad we don't need to be made to feel bad as we feel bad any ways,

every time i see programes like this one i hope that joe public sits up and takes notice ......

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Am a bit mixed about this follow up to be honest.

Yes felt Andy was very pushy at times, and while I wish Richard health, i also felt that by doing sleep overs and eating at andys it was kinda like Richard didn't have to confront his problem because he was out of the place. So it's kinda like not in his face as much.

In the prev prog Richard was the one who finally had enough and choose to start doing the garden himself, which was great because he finally accepted that there was a problem of sorts and was motivated to take action. I was bit split on peeps helping him in that obviously if they hadn't helped it would have taken so long that he may have lost motivation again. But, by not doing it himself and having help meant that it would be easy for him to dismiss the extent of his problem.

For example when andy cleared his kitchen, then shortly after yo go back in and he's piling stuff up on the cooker and sink area's again. So the Hoarding is not being stopped the behaviour is continuing, it just that he has an empty place to fill again.

I think the Psychologist hit it on the head when she asked what of the stuff on the draining board he would class as rubbish and the long and short of it was that he considered it all useful, none of it rubbish so having a rubbish bin in the kitchen would not be the solution to his problem.

I think like the other hoarder series i watched a few months ago, it needs to be that richard hits rock bottom and wants to change. Then he will need to do the work in therapy to understand his own particular hoarding habit. For others in that particular series it was kind of like an emotional buffer to the outside world but obviously everyone has their own life experiences so may not be the same for him.

But to some extent i feel that although andys intentions may be good, i feel that now he has become an enabler to some extent, in that Richard has to get to the point that he is willing to change.

Hit rock bottom if you will.

And, by having him out regularly Richard is not forced to confront the problem himself and start to make his own changes.

At the moment it looks like the problem is only really being papered over by clearing a room and then Richard begining to fill it again - and even going out and getting stuff to bring in!

x

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I think that, although Richard's case was extreme, although certainly not uncommom, it was portrayed in a realistic light. There is no wonderful, happy ending so far - this is mental illness and as we all know on here it is a hardy, difficult, meandering octopus of a thing to grapple with!

It is quite a different approach for TV to take - I am sure that the producers would love to offer up a trumphant 'before and after' shot of Richard's home - the 'after' being shots of Richard's cosy, probably candle-lit lounge as he receives guests...instead, we had the wholly realistic picture of a van driving away with stacks of newspapers he had very very reluctantly let go.

Footnote: I read over the replies to this post and was shot through with fear when I read that, inspired by Richard a few months ago, I was having a big clear out.....cos that's exactly what I'm doing today AAAAAARGHHHHH!!

Am sorting books, clothes, bedside drawers and drawers under bed. Despite previous clear out I am, once again, mysteriously (!!) living with shitloads of crap I SIMPLY DON'T NEED AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!

God bless Richard xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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