Anabas Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 Try to calm down hun. Take some deep breaths, perhaps he has worn himself out and gone for a rest. From what I seen, you were helping him. I'm sure as soon as he can he will be in touch. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 You have no idea how much i love you right now for showing me some kindness. I am in a dreadful state and in a purely selfish way,i wish i hadn't come on the forum now. I've been doing really well and this has really set me back. I don't think i will offer help to anyone anymore. Jesus,this has turned into a nightmare.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 (((((Eagleheart))))) I hope you dont vomit, you dont need that too. But it usually takes a lot to make an emetophobe vomit. I'm not ignoring Ubix. but you are important too. if you would rather think of Ubix think of getting yourself into a better place so you can help again if you want to. But you dont have to. youve done really well. youve done lots. more than anyone could ask and a lot more than most people would do. breath in slowly, someone told me you cant vomit when your breathing in. mints and indigestion tablets can help even when the problem isnt indigestion water or tea can settle your stomach as well as calming nerves this isnt a nice thing to think about but if youve got a bowl or your next to the toilet thats easier in ways i wont go into any distraction is good- it probably doesnt seem like a time for putting on music but it can still help. Probably go for something gentle, not something that makes your body vibrate but that depends on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anabas Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 I understand what you mean. However, you felt you could help and you did but now it's time to put you first. Please don't let this deter you from coming here. It is unfortunate that when we become distressed we can sometimes trigger others. (Of course it's never anyone's intention to do that) Emma makes some very valid points here, I hope you can utilise them. **hugs hun** xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 Cheers to both of you. I'm gonna have to take some valium. Just not calming down. Hopefully i'll manage to get a bit of sleep. I'm very very unwell with my fibromyalgia just now. Pain pain and more pain. I feel wretched and completely drained. I hope Ubix is ok. I can't stop fretting about him. It would be so much easier to be a cold,heartless bitch but i'm not. I care too much too easily. It's a curse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 I hope the valium helps I feel like a cold hearted bitch for not being more upset. I think its something that gets easier (or I'm just geting bitchier) but i hope you never have to find out if it gets easier or not Pain makes everything harder, i hope your doctor is helping with this. someone else on here has fibromyalgia, i think they said something about a link between it and depression. maybe sometime when you havent got other things to think about you could make a post, maybe youll both have some ideas of how to deal with it xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 LonelyHeartEmma - You make me believe in kindness. You have treated me with such care and i will always love you for that. I am going to close my eyes now and hope that sleep comes. What will be,will be. I am not a miracle-worker. I just care about those who are suffering and that can bring pain into my life. I just don't know if i want to put myself through it anymore. Night night hun and thanx again. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 aww your so lovely! I'm glad i got to talk to you but so so sorry it was about this I hope you sleep well and feel better. and i really hope you wake up to some good news xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Inbetween Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 Eagleheart you are a lovely person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 Hi, I am in two minds whether or not to respond to this thread, but a part of me would like to say this.. Firstly, I hope that everyone involved in this thread is 'ok' today. Sounds like last night was a very difficult time and I just hope that everyone is safe and still with us today. It's clear that ubix was in a lot of distress last night and needed to express something. I personally think that in writing this thread and expressing emotions through videos is a good thing. Sometimes it's impossible to find the words, to reach out, to get the help we so desperately need. I also see that a few people have responded to the thread offering support or making it known that they are listening. What a lovely forum this place is.. I mean, where would so many of us be without having the support of peers? I for one am very thankful this forum exists. Sometimes what comes with that for some people is what can come with any relationship in every day life.. some people may well get drawn in to things, feel they are not helping, etc. I always try to be mindful that I am just one person.. but that's another beauty of a forum. If I need to sign offline then there may be someone else who is online. Or if I'm not in a good enough place to respond to someone then maybe someone else. The beauty is that we needn't rely on just one or two people to be around, but it's a community.. a whole community of people who all to some extent can relate to eachother. Sure some may be struggling more than others, but it's give and take. But I think it's important (for me anyway) to not feel that someone else's recovery or safety is not my responsibility. Of course I care for many many people here and when I read a post that someone is struggling badly, it touches my heart.. but at the end of the day I cannot make someone keep safe. I can be there, I can 'listen' and I can even suggest things.. but I do not and cannot take it personally if they choose to do something else, e.g. self harm. We are ultimately responsible for ourselves as hard as that is sometimes. So while I see so much compassion which is so lovely to see, I think it's important to remember that we too our important. If we don't look after ourselves and let ourselves get so drawn in to someone else's chaos, then that goes against (in my view) the point of this forum? I'm not having a go at anyone here I'm honestly not, I'm just raising what I think are issues that we should maybe think about. If we feel ourselves getting triggered, we must look after ourselves. Yes that can be hard when we know that someone who we are friends with or care about is struggling too.. but if we don't help ourselves we cannot help others. I'm a little concerned about calling people attention seekers here or doubting their stories. In all honesty I've lied to people in the past (about 8 years ago) online. And yes I needed attention.. but is that a bad thing? I mean, of course my lying was not good and i'm not condoning that at all, but I'm saying that this forum to an extent is about getting attention. Attention is not a bad thing. I hate the title 'attention seeking' because every single human being needs attention to live. At work last year (I work in NHS) we saw a woman on top of a high building.. I heard someone mutter "oh she just wants attention"... well, my thought was that if she wants attention then GIVE IT TO HER! She was on top of a bloody building about to jump (she did jump by the way).. why is wanting or needing attention such a bad thing? Yes there are healthier ways of getting attention than jumping off a building, but not everyone has coping mechanisms or the skills to ask in a more healthy way. So really, if someone's only way of expressing themselves is to scream and shout or self harm or threaten suicide.. or even lie.. then in my personal opinion, they need and are deserving of attention. It's up to us personally whether we give it or not and how much of it we give. It's up to us to keep ourselves safe if we do decide to give a person in need some of our attention. Just to say as well, that people on this forum are from different countries and therefore time zones.. so I note UBix posted about the GP and it's coming up as midnight my time.. but who knows if we are in the same country. Plus there are duty doctors who work 24/7 anyway. What I'm trying to say is that yes this is in the internet and it's wise to keep in mind that we don't truly know anyone or their stories, etc. but I am also thinking it's not helpful to accuse people of lying just because a time doesn't match our thoughts of when a GP would be working. Anyway, these are just my personal thoughts which I hope I have not put across as thoguht I'm having a go at anyone as I truly am not. I genuinely hope that everyone involved in this thread is doing ok today and is safe. I am just thinking outloud and don't really want this thread to turn to attacking others. Hope this reply doesn't offend! Jenny x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Inbetween Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 I agree with you. I will openly admit to lying to gain attention I think most people have at some place in their time. Attention seeking is not a bad thing we do all need attention and sadly people get lonely and may use unhealthy ways to get attention. I don't know for a fact what is true or untrue but as a newbie here and reading this I felt like I wanted to warn Eagleheart about how sometimes online not everything is as it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 @ jenny - that is probably one of the best posts i have ever read here... well said... xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 Jenny1471 and you other lovely people. I deeply appreciate what you have shared. Last night was distressing. I got involved because the guy seemed so anxious and felt no-one was hearing him. That tugged at my heart. I never expected it to go the way it did. I felt i was getting him to calm down but then it all blew up and he disappeared. I still have no idea if he's ok and that truly distresses me. In being there for him i did myself harm and lost the sense of calm i had worked hard to achieve. Today i am ill and worried,but i don't regret trying to comfort a fellow human being,even if i was being played. If i brought relief for just 1 minute,then it was worth it. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 jenny really wise words hun xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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