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Possible Ocd,bad Thoughts Or Bad Thoughts ?


steelflex

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Hello I am looking for some input that will hopefully give me some clarity so I begin to deal with this. I don't know what forum I should use or if I should even be here at all but in my opinion its the best chance I have right now.

Ill try my best to describe my situation.

For the last 2 years or more I have been thinking of my own down fall, the day I am going to die but it is the only thing I can think about. Everytime I leave my house to go to work, a bar or for a run or even if I stay at home I always think of how I could or will die in the outside but as well as this I always get the feeling that something is going hit me in the head maybe someone will throw a rock at me or someone will punch me in the head. When it all began at first I was confused abut what was going on and just assumed it would stop or get easier but it started to developed into panic attacks which I some how learned to control in time. What I tought would get easier only got worse and now it is maintained at certain point as in doesn't get any easier but it doesn't become more difficult. I cant seem to control it what so ever when my mind begins to think of these things then there is really no stopping it and it has become my obsession. I have also experienced some slight hilucinations I am not exactly sure because in the end it might just be my mind playing tricks on me or my imagination getting the better of me but I start seeing shapes move in my room. see people next to me in the corner of my eye but when I look they are not there and its no one in particular its just the shape of a man or woman I can not tell I sometimes see spiders on my wall but when I look they are not there I see some type of creatures in the dark but this type of thing is not continuous it only happens sometimes as in it could be a month before it hapens again. I have dreams or nightmares that make me feel really uncomfortable when I wake up but I can't remember what I haved dreamed up it just makes me really uncomfortable. My las dream was so bad I woke up standing in my room gasping for breath and when I looked at my wall there were scratches made by my fingers in the wall and I found some of my nails bent back and one bleeding. I used to get the feeling that someone was following me aswell.

Well that is the best I can describe it. I came here because I have no where else to go and there is no one I know who understands or has the same problem or even a place to for me to go where I can meet like minded people.

I appreciate any input any one has. Thank you for your time.

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(((Steelflex))) I haven't experienced anything like this, but maybe some other peeps here have experienced similars. Have you seen a doctor about this? Sounds very frightening.................................The closest I can come to having some appreciation of your experiences is in relation to my father......................He has been very unwell for a number of years now, but throughout his lifetime he did have terrible nightmares and do things in his sleep which he had no recollection of in the mornings. Many many years this went on........................It really is worth getting yourself checked out.......................Please do that will you and be honest with your doctor...............................It might just prevent things getting worse if you can get some help or medication to help. Pickles.x

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