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You Know When Your Bpd When...


Fanta

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lol I reached my quota of likes for the day because all of these things you guys are saying really resonate with me

I didn't go through all of them so I don't know if this has been said already but

when you judge yourself and interpret others are judging you or thinking bad things about you. When you recognize a negative emotion on someones face and assume you might have contributed to it or caused it

when you feel inside your heart that this is how someone feels - even if they haven't said it to you and others try to hit you with logic to say that you are probably just interpreting it that way...but something in your gut tells you that they must think badly of you because you've heard the way they talk about other people with less problems etc so you have such a hard time believing they could be sensitive/compassionate/understanding of you and non-judgemental

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oh my god reading all of those helped me realise I am not alone in the way I feel.

My one would have to be 'Schroedingers emotional state' feeling everything simultaneously, but unable to specify how you are feeling

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oh another one too is we tend to catastrophize..thinking we should expect the absolute worst...cuz we are used to falling and having to keep picking ourselves back up

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Christine, that's very true.

Some more positives:

...when you are really perceptive to other people's moods/personalities.

...when you spend so much of your life embroiled in the dramas in your head that the big dramas in real life are no big deal and you deal with them with ease.

...when you have some pretty funny stories about all the stupid fucked-up shit you've done.

...when you would never judge someone without knowing the facts, because you know that people have hard lives and that you don't know the half of it.

...when you're in the right mood, you're the funniest, cleverest fucker in the room and everyone is drawn to you.

...when you can pull pretty much anyone because of your intensity and hero-worship of anyone you find attractive. Sure, they dump you when they find out you're crazy, but the first step is never a big problem.

Oh wow this is pretty cool actually. That dealing with big issues like nothing thing has really helped me out, i get told it's cos I don't care about anyone or anything...all of these ring so true, I wouldn't class myself as that attractive, but I have slept with girls WAY WAY WAAAAAAAAY out of my league including like 3 models, a dancer, an actress (not famous)...didn't even realise. We have the potential to be awesome, whilst our brain is waiting slowly to rip us back down

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I found this in some of my old writings:

What does bpd feel like

BPD feels like your emotions are clouding your intelligence or your reason

It is your knowledge that others would be emoting differently in a similar situation but still feeling overwhelmed by the emotion. It’s wishing to feel less, and then when you finally dissociate and experience what that polar opposite is like, realizing that maybe it is better to feel it all than feel nothing at all. BPD feels like addiction in some ways. We learn patterned behaviours to cope with our mental states and then become addicted to some poorly learned coping methods. We also become addicted to escaping, Escape from the ‘bad’ feelings, escape from the ‘bad’ people-the ones who hurt us on repeat because they know we are vulnerable, escape from reality where nothing is fair…and then realizing how much less painful it is to just accept what really is. And piece by piece we start to heal. And one day you’re falling apart and anxious and everything is a struggle. But you keep going. Resilliency becomes your new partner and you face it all. Piece by Piece. You keep going. You keep walking, crawling, sometimes dragging your flesh and limbs up the mountain, but you keep going. And it’s ironic. It’s ironic that we are both suicidal and fight to live. It’s so ironic because the ones who say we’re controlling are the ones being controlled, just not by us. The stigma and the rumors fly and all the media, research, relevant searches are so biased and out of date.

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Anyone ever considered us as the normal ones, the ones who actually grasp and acknowledge our feelings and what is going on around us, the ones who are thoughtful and considerate towards the rest of our peers. Sometimes, despite the bad feelings, after reading things i have on another site, it makes me think we are actually the ones of sound mind and its the rest of 'em. At the end of the day, this place, is the place i have met the most caring and sense talking people in my life yet we are considered as the ones with the problems yet you guys are the ones with the answers, with the kind nature i look for in my real life. Maybe it should be the rest of the world looking to us for answers. If everyone looked deep into their lives regarding their thoughts and feelings like we do maybe the world would a better place :bigarmhug[1]: xxxxxxxxxxx

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I found this in some of my old writings:

What does bpd feel like

BPD feels like your emotions are clouding your intelligence or your reason

It is your knowledge that others would be emoting differently in a similar situation but still feeling overwhelmed by the emotion. It’s wishing to feel less, and then when you finally dissociate and experience what that polar opposite is like, realizing that maybe it is better to feel it all than feel nothing at all. BPD feels like addiction in some ways. We learn patterned behaviours to cope with our mental states and then become addicted to some poorly learned coping methods. We also become addicted to escaping, Escape from the ‘bad’ feelings, escape from the ‘bad’ people-the ones who hurt us on repeat because they know we are vulnerable, escape from reality where nothing is fair…and then realizing how much less painful it is to just accept what really is. And piece by piece we start to heal. And one day you’re falling apart and anxious and everything is a struggle. But you keep going. Resilliency becomes your new partner and you face it all. Piece by Piece. You keep going. You keep walking, crawling, sometimes dragging your flesh and limbs up the mountain, but you keep going. And it’s ironic. It’s ironic that we are both suicidal and fight to live. It’s so ironic because the ones who say we’re controlling are the ones being controlled, just not by us. The stigma and the rumors fly and all the media, research, relevant searches are so biased and out of date.

Art, that is such an excellent description of how I feel about my BPD, thank you for putting it into words.

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You're like an open wound, everything hurts so much, and no matter how much you wrap up and withdraw, it still hurts because the poison of the past is still running.

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Things are going so well and you will sabotage it somehow no matter what, even in ways which seem outlandish and as if you set them in motion ages ago...

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