Suddenly

[magametal]

Hi all. Last week I spent in a deep dissociation and anxiety, and I realized I need to analyze the whole situation and make some changes in my life style, anything to feel myself more comfortable with who I am. My whole disorders thing started in 2008 with Homosexual OCD. Google it. I've had a great fear about finding out that I'm actually gay. But I like girls, I told myself. Then I found out that in fact I'm bisexual guy. You see, I live in a very homophobic region, you won't find any open LGBT person here, never. That's why I tried to become someone I never was, someone the society told me I better be - a testosterone-fuelled manly man. I suffered years and years in efforts to become some epic stereotypical alpha guy, hiding the real truth from myself. But a week ago I realized its all pointless, I want to be myself. You can't simply tell a person with bpd 'relax man, be yourself' its far more complicated. But now I know for sure one more thing about my real personality - I'm bisexual. I no longer will lie to myself, I don't want to wear anyone's face, I want to be myself. I will consult my therapist on Friday on that topic.

Sorry, it might seem as some pointless ramblings, but I just wanted to let everybody know about my progress in treatment. Have a great day all! :)

[ruffryder]

Hey man i suffer from the same thing i have struggled with it for over ten years. I think at most i might be bi but i have no interest in men and it makes me feel really happy when i like girls. Things are a little better im building on the possitives. Im really pleased for you and wish you all the luck in the world

[magametal]

Hey man, happy 26-th birthday, btw. :)

[ruffryder]

Cheers mate