Emotionally Unstable Borderline Personality Disorder... Anyone?

[BluntBabe90]

Hi..

I'm soo crap at talking lol.

Well here goes I'm 23 and I got diagnosed with emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder (BPD) in December of last year. Had a pretty turbulent childhood to say the least, which I also have post traumatic stress disorder from, and then I guess caused the BPD. I've seen a shrink twice, first time she gave me like 5 pills to pop a day, which made me wired and zombie like and I couldn't sleep either. So I went back and told her and she told me to stop them. She also put me on a 12 month waiting list for treatment.

Now.. It's like four months later. And I'm just getting worse and worse. And I can't talk to anyone. It's my stupid BPD I know lol but I just can't. Specially my family because I can't hurt them anymore. And I literally don't have friends I just can't hold don't relationships at all. I can't work, can't go out, I've lost three stone, everything seems to be falling apart lol....

So I guess this is my shot in the dark. I'm wondering if there's anyone with a similar condition, or not beggars can't be choosers who wants to talk? Or any advice or just anything really lol..

[Riverspell]

Hey BB (can I call you that?), I too have BPD. I was diagnosed with it in June. Still learning to cope with it, which is probably a no brainer as it's only two months later.

I fight to get up every day and cheer for myself when I make it to my chair. I cheer even louder when I finally make it downstairs and manage to nibble on something. Inevitably though, I end up back in bed to nap for a long time.

I'm almost 21, also had a bad childhood which turned me into a PTSD schitzo affective BPD individual. I take about 12 pills a day, see a therapist every week and a psychiatrist every two weeks. I'm on disability too.

If you've seen any of my posts of late (which I doubt since you are new =) ), I don't feel many emotions anymore and when I do they explode violently. I've been clean of SH for a month, which is unusual for me. Usually I cut all the time.

In the last two years I've been in the hospital 7 times and for about a month each time.

And yes, I know what it's like to wake up and hate every inch of myself.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. Or heck, reply here and I'll reply as soon as I can. =)

Stay strong my friend and know you aren't alone!

[Threemoons]

Hi. I have PTSD, not BPD, but I can relate to not being able to work or go out. I don't hold relationships well either. Don't know how it's like to hate every bits of yourself but I imagine it's hard. You're not alone feeling like you feel. Hugs to you.

[charlotte23]

i i just read your article and i can so so relate to you. i also lack support, and finding life extremely difficult, if i can help in some way even just chatting don't hesitate, take care

[charlotte23]

i i just read your article and i can so so relate to you. i also lack support, and finding life extremely difficult, if i can help in some way even just chatting don't hesitate, take care

[dazedsheep]

I can totally totally relate. Even if I try to convey to immediate family what's going on, they just cannot seem to comprehend it. They've simply not experienced anything like this so they cannot understand, and the other person not understanding one bit, makes the situation much more frustrating and contributing to the anger.

[aliscrapper]

Hi I have BPD and can totally relate to you. I was diagnosed 10 years' ago and I'm still trying to comprehend why I feel the way I do. I'm in a psychotherapy group and its beginning to help me recognise what's going on.

My psychiatrist put me on quetipine which is a mood stabilser but it also has a sedative effect and I now sleep about 75% of the time without sleeping medication. Medication is difficult because all the psychiatrist can do is make an "educated guess" at what might suit you - they can't see if your body will accept it; but stick with it as eventually they will find a medication that suits you and helps alleviate the intensity of your BPD symptoms; so that you are well enough to look into the underlying cause.

I attend a drop in service run by the mental health charity "mind" - is just great to go somewhere and mix with people who understand exactly how I feel. If you go on Mind's website or the other mental health charity "rethink" and put in your postcode it will come up with services local to you.

Sending you a hug.