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Guilt About Laying In Bed/sleeping?


Jinxsta

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Do you ever feel guilty for sleeping or just being in bed too long?

I absolutely hate it, and myself when i oversleep, like today I woke up at 13:34 and straight away i felt intense guilt and shame.. I know that I have overslept because the previous few nights i've either not slept or slept very sporadically due to pain and the pain meds themselves, so i know there is a reason but I can't help feeling real bad about it.

Even when i am in bad pain and NEED rest I really struggle, i feel like i should be doing something, usually cleaning, which is probably OCD related and i usually end up being really stubborn against my body and start cleaning, tidying and sorting even though im in agony, sometimes it gets so bad i feel as though im gonna passout with the pain, but still i'll soldier on. Or when i'm mentally unwell all I wanna do sometimes is hide away from the world in bed and sleep, and im told thats ok because sleep is a great healer, but i'll still force myself to do things and make myself stay awake no matter how tired i am and sometimes end up going the other way and not sleeping at all, thus making myself more ill.

Insight anyone?

xx xx xx

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*big hugs* I can understand the struggle, maybe you need to start gently challenging that part of you that says you should get up and do things even when you need the rest. If you were to keep running yourself into the ground like that it means you have less energy to do everything you need or want to do, you're less likely to get things done to the standard you want.

Your body and mind are, in a way, a machine which needs taking care of and rest, if you don't give it what it needs it'll break down and then nothing will get done.

Somewhere along the line you may have been taught or told that being in bed a bit late or getting rest is bad and makes you lazy- it doesn't, it's time to challenge that teaching- because the person who taught you it? They probably have needed to rest themselves too, maybe they were taught to feel shame for it, but that was true for them, it doesn't have to be your truth.

There's a balance to be struck between to much and too little, and i'm sure you'll get it eventually, you've already shown that you're bright and by thinking about it and questioning it you've already started to become aware and challenge it.

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I'm with you on this one Jinxta - I HATE myself every time I wake up / get up late. I sleep because it's an escape but it makes me feel so bad every time I do it (which is every day at the moment). When I wake up and the whole morning has gone I feel so guilty - as I do when I nap in the afternoons. I shouldn't need to sleep like this, it makes me feel weak and pathetic. The thing is when I wake up and feel so crap about over-sleeping all I want to do is sleep more to avoid the feelings....

The only thing I can see that makes sleep slightly less bad is that it is a whole lot healthier than a lot of other things we could be doing to avoid feeling so bad. But even this doesn't usually cut it in my mind.

Sorry, wish I had something useful to say - just wanted to say you're not alone!

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Thanks kitsune, that makes a lot of sense... I think it comes from my Mum, she was always a "come on, get up, get out" kind of person and still is, she also has OCD although undiagnosed its blatantly obvious so was always cleaning and still does, i remember being called lazy a lot as a teenager... and she has said in my adult life "All you do is lay in bed all day".. which she has no evidence of only probably maybe if shes rang me and i've overslept.

i think i'm just particularly bad at looking after myself in general, im always messing about with something..sleeping, eating, meds...

xx xx xx

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Thanks artemis, good to know its not just me, but of course wish you didnt go through it too.. thats a very good point you made that it is a healthier alternative, i hadn't thought of that.

xx xx xx

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I understand this perfectly of late Jinxsta.

Lately I've done nothing BUT sleep. I can't stay awake longer than a couple hours at a time before I have to go lay down again. I get crap for it too from my family. Told to get up and do chores or take a walk or anything but sleep. Because apparently sleeping is unhealthy. *rolls eyes*

I've been challenging that thinking.

Every so often I go through a period where my sleep schedule is wacked up and I sleep in naps instead of a full 8 hours like a normal person. I sleep for about 2-3 hours and then am up for 2-3 hours (sometimes longer, I try to push it) before I have to sleep again.

I feel guilty about it too but I've been trying not to lately because I have a right to do what feels good for me and is HEALTHY for me.

Wish I could say more healthy things but I'm currently just waking up. May add more when I think of it.

Sorry I can't be more helpful!

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Hey Riverspell,

I think when one has a mental illness the people around us think sleeping too much is the cause of it or at least contributing to it, I don't think they realise that it can be helpful and healing... wish i could take my own advice.

When I wake up in the night, I make myself stay awake for a while, even if im falling asleep sitting up, i make myself.

xx xx xx

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Yeah, my therapist tells me too much sleep is bad for me and makes my mental health worse.

I'm not terribly sure if I should believe him. =/

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I guess its different for everyone. my CPN says its healing and my shrink says its the meds ... I think if the sleep itself stops someone living life, or they are using it as an avoidance technique then i suppose it could have an adverse affect, so there needs to be a balance i think, but i think the balance is different for everyone, some people function fine on six hours sleep, some need ten.

xx xx xx

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Totally with you on that one. I grew up with my father getting us all up at crack of dawn even if we didn't have to go to school. If you were ill you had to ignore it and carry on. To be honest I think he was just a sadistic wanker. I still struggle at times to have a lie in because I can hear the sergeant major shouting in my ear. I'm much more kinder to myself these days when im ill, I take care and look after myself. I treat myself the way I treat my patients, with plenty of TLC. X

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Hey Vicky, Its very hard to break free from memories and habits and realise what actually is ok and what isnt ok... I guess we have to retrain and teach ourselves.. i find it very hard to be kind to myself.

xx xx xx

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