brisbane Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 I just have to share this... i was in therapy today and it was a really good session, we didn’t do any ‘therapy’ per se but just spoke about the dynamics of our relationship and how its going etc. Anyhow, i won’t go into detail but as i left i realised that every time i walk out of therapy i feel abandoned... i feel rejected... i feel uncared for. Its like i walk in and i get this beautiful warm safe place and then all too soon it is gone again and i feel cold. It was so helpful to see this, and feel this a bit, as rejection/ abandonment are underlying themes for me, in how i make choices in life. I’ll bring it up in my next session in 3 weeks time. And i can safely say that i like my therapist. I’m not brave enough to tell her yet, but she’s really nice and listens to me, all of me. And she’s very humble, when i mentioned how i don’t know how to bring my emotional part into therapy, she said it can be a learning curve for me and her alike, how nice is that. She’s also teaching me to go slowly slowly in my own time... I never used to respect that. Also, now i’m rambling but it is happy rambling, i flirted with this guy at my supermarket AGAIN on the way home today. That is twice! I even smiled at him. For someone who has been persistency shy when she likes someone this is AMAZING. And gosh it feels good to flirt, especially when it is well reciprocated. We had a lovely extended conversation about cheese and pasta... we were on a supermarket check-out, and it is aldi so service is express, but with lots of eye contact... yes, i am a sweet naive thing... but very enjoyable, he he xx p.s.s am now heading to a team meeting to stand up for myself (again!)... wow, what new patterns are forming... sending warmth to you all xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted September 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 i'm so excited and happy to see this because i have a love/hate relationship with therapy... and i think this abandoment stuff is part of the "hate" and is what drives me to leave therapy... thought i'd better explain myself a bit more, as i guess you're not all clairvoyants xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 (((Brisbane)))...........This all sounds so positive with lots of recognition too, of your own personal growth going on.xxx Aldi, cheese and pasta guy & gal flirting, sounds fun......... .xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted September 21, 2013 Report Share Posted September 21, 2013 I can totally relate to this. I literally count down the days to therapy.. especially now that my therapist is away for 2 weeks (ARGH). Then when I'm there I feel warm, cared for.. it's a safe place. She is there for me and me only. Then the end of the session is upon us and I have to leave.. walk out and in to the cold where I'm not sure if she remembers me or I slip from her mind until the following week. It's like a weekly abandonment, although logically isn't. I understand you're not able to talk to your therapist about this just yet but I do hope that the time will come when you do feel able to express this. I have with mine and although it hasn't alleviated the feelings, it's helpful for her to know how I feel on walking out of her room... and it's good for us to look at where these feelings have come from. Well done on the massive progress you're making. I mean that in a non-patronising way xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted September 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2013 thanks jenny, i appreciate that. i think therapy has it limitations, namely that we cannot love our therapist (well maybe we think we can, but we never really know who they are, and they can't love us back) and there cannot be the deeper intimacy that can be shared with a partner... these are my reckonings of late... i was able ot face this abandoment/ rejection stuff directly, feel the feelings, and a great deal of it has shifted... you'll get there too, knowledge is power xxx and of course i'll contiinue with my therapist too, she's the best i've come across yet, and i think i'll make even more progress with a multi-faceted approach! I was wondering if you have ever sat with your therapist and felt the feelings of abandoment, and expressed what you're feeling to her, or have you just done it on a more head level? i just wonder if this can help it shift more? feel free to pm if this is getting too personal for the forum... you're doing awesome too you know xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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