Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 LOLZ Arts! Carrier Pigeon? I have a doxon mix? Maybe I could get him to look cute and teach him to teleport. xD (I'm not mocking you, I genuinely thought that was funny) I do have a second phone that was given to me when we first thought it'd died. The problem is that the sim card is fried. So I can't use the second phone without a sim card and we don't think they still make sim cards for that type of phone (it's almost 7 years old!) and can't afford a brand new phone. =/ I have internet at home. That's how I'm able to talk to all you lovely! folks on here. =) Don't got the money for a pay phone but that's a good idea. If I could even find one. Pay phones are rare here in the US. Never heard of Bell Online. I'll look into it, seems the most promising. It's been another night without sleep. Gotten 5 or 6 hours now in two days. Better than usual so I'm hoping I might pass out soon. Doubtful as I'm wide awake, even if my fingers aren't. (Had to retype this message twice. xD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Barbones. I'm not giving anything up willingly. I have gotten the levothyroxine filled thank goodness. They didn't raise the price on that one and my mom had extra of her own she gave me. I managed to get all but my Seroquel XR which is now 1000 dollars a bottle which I can't afford at all. No questions on that one. So I'm weaning off it with what I have left so I don't go cold turkey before I see my psych on Wednesday. Probably can't get Abilify either when I go to fill it as theres no generic like the Seroquel. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 River im sorry that u cant get the money for the drugs. The one u need is thyroxine and if that is all u get the rest is u can look into help for therapy. Your going through alot of withdawels, but u can do it. You can look into therapy that helps, iff its not free, god im sry!! There is posts that help and give u psychotherapy online and from the shit ur going through im sure u could help uself. josh who made this website he shows he has made alot of changes, maybe pm and he will help. xxx sry i have no understanding of US and there excuse of human right of health problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Yeah, therapy is not free here. I've looked for free clinics. I went to one for a while but that's because I was on state insurance so they let me in free. But the state insurance just dropped me. I called and gave them my parents insurance and now I have to pay 25 dollars for an appt. If you read my other post "Fucking Tricksters" you'd see why I can't afford it. I've pretty much been tricked out of more than half my money each month so I can only afford one appt with either my therapist or my psych. I've decided on my psych because she monitors my meds and I believe she can help me the most right now. =/ Only issue is that I can only see her once a month because I don't have the money for more appts. And I need her BAD with these withdrawals and shit. I already know I can't live without the meds. I'll just decline further. We've seen and proved that. Tried taking me off meds twice thinking I had enough of a grip on it. Nope, went into a fast downward spiral. I refuse to spend my 21st birthday in the hospital. I spent my 20th in the hospital already. God it was awful. The last few hospitals I was in treated me like shit too. Last one was horrifying. I was abused, maligned, misunderstood to such a level it bordered on verbal and emotional abuse, had someone follow me around after I took my pills cause they made me sick and they were just SURE I was throwing up on purpose. Told me I'm a scratcher not a cutter. Openly told me I cut for attention, one staff person tried goading me into a fight over it. Just lots and lots of shit. I could go on but I don't want to. Since I've been 7 times in 2 years (which is abnormal apparently) I would probably end up at the End Of Line, which is a hospital (can't name, it's not end of line) where they send the problem cases and the really crazy and emotional people. God that'd be fucking awful. People that haven't been there say it's awesome, patients that've been there say it's miserable. I don't want to find out. But since I'm barely sleeping and not caring for myself (which I need to push myself to do) I'm afraid I'll end up there. Having nightmares of it. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Sry ur going through this, but there is things online which could help alittle. What do u really see in not having meds? what happens to u? U going through being in hospital for all those times must be tellling u something is not happening? it could be u? or them? not sure what to say to u? Me u could keep trying? i know how hard it is, but ive done it for 20yrs. you can do it. sry ur in a diffrent place but you can do it. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 When I'm off meds.......It's.........It's just plain awful. I can't think straight. Everything's racing then muddled then racing again. My brain becomes tired but my bodies wired. I fight to sleep, I fight to be sane. The voices are so loud, so fucking loud. I become aggresive, sometimes violent. I can scream and kick things and throw things. I try anything and everything to be sane. That includes harming myself. Things just fall apart, I fall apart. I can't exist like that. I will look into online help. I'll try anything at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Ive been through what ur going through, u can fight it and if u look online there is psychotherapy free online to work on. Just keep trying hun xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Thanks so much Barbones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinyshine Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 How about Skype? I live in the dark ages compared to my peers and so I don't use it but I heard you can make calls on it. Either that or a postal letter sealed with wax, like a 17th century missive. Or cups and string? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 I have Skype but none of my supports use it. Well, one of them does, but they're so busy during the day they never get on. Postal letters don't work so well. In a crisis you need someone NOW. Cups and string? I actually tried that as a child. My brother tricked me by using an elastic string and I got smacked in the face with a cup. xDDD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtMatters Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 I have skype you can skype me sometime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted September 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 Thank you Arts! Would you mind sending me your name so I can make sure I have it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtMatters Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 I'll PM it to you later...I'm gonna relax for a bit cuz it's a rain day and then I'll PM it to you later cuz I don't remember what it is off by hand lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverspell Posted October 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2013 Update for ya'll. My mom brought me 4 bottles of Seroquel XR samples. Each bottle has 4 pills. They are 200mg each. So I gotta take three at a time for my full dose. I called my psych today using my step mom's phone. She told me to take the full dose until she sees me on Wednesday. Then we'll figure it out from there. I've also gotta call in about my Abilify and see how much they'll charge me for that one. Cause I may have to switch off that one too. She is talking about switching me to a bigger dose of the regular seroquel since it has a generic. I take the generic already for sleep. So if I'm taking bigger doses of it I'm pretty sure I'll be sleeping for at least a couple weeks. xDD I've been up almost 30 hours now and before that only had 5 hours of sleep. I'm hoping since I take a full dose tonight that I'll conk out and sleep like a log. Cause while my brain's tired my body feels wired and it makes it practically impossible to sleep. Tried several times now. D: So yeah, hopefully she and I will figure out as much as we can in the half hour appt in case I can't see her again for a month. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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