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My Narcissist Ex Is Stalking Me Online


lorelei85

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First of all excuse my english,its not my native language.So i met this guy a few months ago..He was 39,im 28.He kept chasing me for 5 months until i agreed to go on a date with him.So we start dating,he put me on a pedestal,he treated me like a princess.He was beyond nice.Which was a red flag for me.Along with him checking other girls out from even our 1st date!But being naive and inexperienced with men,i continued anyways..I started spending half the week at his place..And started falling hard for him.At times he d pick fights over nothing,and id always be the one apologising even when he was wrong.But the good outweighed the bad..I was getting more and more suspicious of him..Found a long brown hair in his shower (im blonde).He told me it was his mothers who came for a visit(!)..Things were starting to change as i was getting more suspicious.Especially after his ex texted me and warned me about him.I told him and he got furious.And i accused him of lying one day.That was the beginning of my devaluation.He broke up with me.He d talk less,id see him less,he d treat me worse and worse day by day.Me,not knowing what was going on,i begged him(i know im an idiot).So we gave it a try.But things were not as before.We d break up all the time.Until he asked me to be friends with benefits.At first i said no but you know how manipulative they are,plus i was too in love with him.So i started seeing him like that.The lies continued,more fights,other women,god knows how many(he has no friends,just a harem!)Until last week when i told him i want out.He didnt take it well but said ''fine''.He was angry.A few days later i text him asking how is he doing and he raged at me..I raged back.I confronted him and unmasked him completely.I guess he hated that..We stopped talking and a few days later(i wanted my stuff back and to give him his)i texted him ''call me''.Just that.He said ''i dont think so''.I didnt reply.He texted again ''Dont contact me again''.I didnt reply.He texted ''Got it?Dont you dare bother me again you psycho''.Again,i didnt reply.He called me 3 times.I didnt pick it up.He texted then ''Are we clear?''I didnt reply either.And finally he texted ''Im talking to you.Are we clear?''.All that took place within an hour.Did he really want me to stop talking to him?Or was he expecting me to beg?Thia has happened before and id always beg and we d be together.We havent talked in days but i see him online a lot on an app we used to talk on.I know he only talked to me on that one.And whenever i was mad at him and not talking,he d always go online to see if im online and log off withing a second.He s doing that again.Monitoring me but not talking.Just logging off immediatelly.What is going on?Is he expecting me to talk?Because i wont..Will he you think?Also a guy friend of mine texted him(without my knowledge)that he s my new boyfriend..Do you think he got jealous?How do narcissists feel when you have a new bf?I ve read that they dont come back when you expose them..So do you think he will or not?I know that at first i was great supply,i was out of his league physically and intellectually,totally submissive and with low self esteem..But confronting him made me the worst supply i guess..Is it over for him?

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But, getting wrapped up in your ex's mental health is not a healthy way to start a relationship with a new boyfriend. Are you thinking of ditching the new guy and going back?

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i dont have a new bf..my friend lied to him so he d get away from me.we just broke up a few days ago,im not ready for someone new.im very hurt.i found out about his npd only 2 days ago and im shocked and i want to know more and get into his mindset.its actually a relief knowing the reason why..

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if he really does have npd then whether you know more about his mindset or not is HIGHLY unlikely to make anything better for you

you best bet is to leave well alone

why do you want to know more?

(sorry we couldnt read first post)

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Hi The best thing that you can do for yourself is to stay away from him, I have had experience with a man with npd and it was the worst relationship in my life. I have also known other women who have badly hurt.... My husband was very selfish, everything was about him, he had to be right and the world revolved around him. He did so much damage to me, he too stalked and harassed me, in the end I was given a restraining order to make him stay away or he would go back to prison. Please save yourself why you can. Block him and cut him out of your life. You can learn about npd without being with him. Npd isn't an excuse for his behaviour. Stay safe and take care. Xx

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I can honestly see how this is a big shock to you, but paying attention to your own needs is the best thing you can do for yourself after any kind of break up. "Knowing about him" is not going to help, it won't fix him or make him treat you better, it won't soothe your heart right now. It is a mental ruse that your mind is playing on itself, to prevent you from attending to your own hurt.

I know you came here looking for answers, but the general mindset of the forum is for people to learn how to face and take responsibility for themselves, not to indulge in behavior that will make things worse. Steve & Walker are not being cold when they say, walk away, get on with your day.

Go have a bubble bath, light some candles, think about some the ways that you are great, just the way you are. Be gentle with yourself, be tender, kind, and forgiving of whatever judgements surface.

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i know,its just very hard to just walk away.i feel so hurt and abused.and knowing about his npd made me feel a little better,knowing he s sick and it wasnt all my fault like i thought it was.and it has kept me from contacting him again.i posted on here hoping to get opinions from other people who were abused by narcissists,it really helps me.

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It sounds like this relationship has been emotionally toxic and traumatic for you. I hope you can manage to move on from this person and ignore them.

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