pepsimeg Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 i think may have a mood disorder maybe bipolar (mixed) i dont know but lately it keeps happening that my mind explodes with greatness and i cant stop i feel super human creative thoughts wizz thru my head amd dont stop i cant slow them down. i try to sleep but all i cant cos the greatness feels great and it needs to cime.out. when i get like this. i have notuced a pattern before that when my head gets like this it wont last....it goes on for a few days and then my mind crashes into a darkness i wondered why recently i felt so depressed im on antids so it suprised me that i went into a darkness but today im up with racing thoughts of creativity and greatness again and yeah its great why wouldnt it be except my body and mind just dont want to stop and i cant slow it down. i dont want to crash again i like it. i notuced this for yrs and i did keep a mood diary once and showed my dr she said i cud have bipolar but wen i saw psych he said bpd but ok hes right but that dont explain the highs and lows and why the antids not working i talk alot i go on and on with my greatness (haha) my body wont stop but then it will and it will be the opposite again. does anyone else here have bipolar or can advise.me thanks emo xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 26, 2013 Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 sorry we dont have it and cant advise but we DO experience very similar when we were more 'well' like when we were teaching we would get mega ideas and they would consume us and we would hardly have or need any sleep and all we did was read and plan and it was like we could do anything talk loads and very rapid millions of connections linking up in our head all making sense then it would vanish and if we had already started that something - like a project with the school kids or something - we would have to try to carry it through and it was INTENSELY difficult because our mind had closed down, all clarity gone, all passion gone, and just feeling useless we still get it and we noticed it was about 4 or 5 times a year, although weirdly it is not so violent a change recently (could this be due to hormone changes?) one of the times was when we spent the night in a cell after overdosing (last year) we hadnt been high and creative but we were VERY high as in our head was whirling like a tornado, and it was like our thoughts were raging but SO SO clear and we were barely hungry and we had about 7 hours sleep from tuesday to friday it was like we could go on for ever like that - except once it stopped it was like we lost everything, all that wonderful clarity of thought, all that 'sense', all that energy and need and urgency and passion it always feels like our head is almost on fire with activity and alertness - whether it is positive (creative, making, doing, tidying, ideas, schemes, anything possible) or negative (ideas, schemes, ways to end, reasons to end, clarity of what others are 'doing' to us or thinking about us) sorry have really gone on and on but we have wondered sometimes but when we were in hosp a lady came in on a 'high' and OMG she honestly didnt stop talking loud rambling going on on on on day and night to everyone and anyone then complete silence, didnt say a word, who knows it is a good idea to talk to dr about it in the past they have wanted to but us on lithium, and/or other mood stabilisers but then bpd is also a mood disorder of sorts aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted October 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2013 yeah thanks walker its like that wth me 4yrs ago i kept a 3mnth mood diary cos i noticed a pattern showed my dr and she agreed but it took 9 mnths and it was a farce to get tovsee a psych ny the time i got to see him i had given up threw my diary away and i hardly spoke to him and he came up with bpd but what i have been reading theree are diff sorts of bipolar some like the woman u described whee they really are high then those who have more lows than highs etc. so who knows i dont i dont know whether to c a drbor not but my therapist at the moment woeks with ppl with bipolar shes not said it directly to me but has hinted a few things i dont know. i think i will keep a dieary again and see thanku for your reply walker xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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