Body Dysmorphic Disorder

[roflysst]

I know this is something that can affect people in VERY different ways. Do you have it and how does it affect you?

I hate looking in mirrors. I see fat bulging everywhere. I look bigger now then I did when I was 2 stone heavier. If I exercise I can't look at myself afterwards, I see one of those female body builders with muscles and veins bulging everywhere. I see a manly jawline, huge nose (I even had a nose job to try and "fix" the problem £3500 not very well spent), I see huge manly shoulders.

I spend hours trying to pick out what to wear when I have to leave the house, in an attempt to cover up my flaws. I have social anxiety too, and if I'm forced into a social situation, I literally hear people having conversations about me and my flaws, I hear the laughter and see the pointing (never mind the panic attacks with hallucinations). I don't leave the house now apart from my weekly doctor appointments and support worker appointments.

I make attempts to improve my fears, I use my own picture on forums and with my doctor appointments I force myself to sit in the waiting room with everyone else even though I hear the conversations about me etc. I know from past experiences that completely cutting myself off from uncomfortable situations only drives me further into my disorders (I can deal with the hallucinations just not the delusions again), so I try and do just a few little things just to stave off the worst.

[Elke]

You are sooooo pretty!

And I mean that. I don´t come on here to fool anyone.

[rtstone]

i hate mirrors too,i dread going to hairdressers,its a messed up condition.i can totally relate to the delusions,paranoia that everybody is laughing at me.i find the older i get the easier it gets,im on good medication and that takes the edge off.cheers for sharing

[ArtMatters]

I understand... I'm sorry you struggle I know that these kinds of self esteem issues are really a personal battle and there isn't much we can do to help but I do understand how you feel I often feel this really disconnected feeling when people tell me I'm beautiful...and I can't say it about myself without feeling sick inside.....but I'm starting to get better at accepting myself and accepting that society is fucked & that we as individuals are awesome

anyways here's a cute video that might help... I like spoken word so here (dudes a bit intensely Christian but it's still a good spoken word regardless lol) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yJnLqLWdSU

[Becca95]

I don't think I have the disorder, but sometimes I see me as normal, a skinny, anorexic (actually not due to body or weight issues), underweight, boney person; the other times I see places of my body, which are fat. Sometimes, I stare at myself in the mirror for ages just picking out every little horrible thing. Sometimes I feel skinny, sometimes I feel fat.

I can totally relate to the paranoia around people. I'm a very shy person around strangers and always feel like people are looking at me and judging me, talking and laughing about me. It does affect my life, not as badly as you but I know how much it can affect your self-esteem. Sorry to hear you're struggling. Sending big hugs xx

[addy2]

I hate mirrors too but that's because I am fat no imagining or seeing it that way, I know I am my mother ridicules me and so has my partner saying I didn't turn him I was too over weight I told him to f**k of, that really did a lot of damge I got heavier, now I don't eat in public incase people talk about me hey look at her fat and eating, when I talk to people I feel they are staring at me thinking how horrible and fat I am. So guess your the opposite are thin but sees fat I don't mean to belittle you or how you feel but I really wish I was thin and just though I looked fat :(