SusieQ Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 This is an ongoing question with me, but when in MH terms are you simply not fit to work? I do quite a technical job and often feel like I can't actually do it mentally and/or emotionally but becuase I don't have any physical problems I go in anyway. Then I spend a whole day being fairly unproductive. Take for example, yeterday. I was physically present at work, but not mentally. I could not actually focus on anything. I was supposed to be checking something a colleague had done. I found it tough, but felt like I eventually got through it. He later pointed out to me his own mistake. I felt like I should have probably stayed at home - that mistake could have been costly and embarrasing if he hadn't spotted it. This would be ok if I was not in a performance based job where one bad day screws up the whole week. But then, no one pulls me up on lack of productivity - so I also wonder if my lack of concentration is all a myth. Sometimes I am at work crying all day, struggling to do stuff cos of how I feel emotionally, but crying is not really an illness. My colleague had a fever and lost her voice a couple of weeks ago. No question regarding fitness for work there. I wish MH was that simple. I may add here that I haven't had a cold or flu or any physical illness in years. I also get jealous of people who have on-going physical health problems because of the support they get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalissa Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 i worked a lot till six months ago antarctic, now i'm off with m/h stuff, i tended to think before that if i was managing to get myself to work keeping that going then i was to some extent doing ok, but that said i also worked too much when things got on top of me and that added to my overload and downfall... it's hard to know ... lali xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 hi antartic leech, its a really hard dilemma. i find working can give me a sense of worth, and yet at the same time, i struggle so much to go when my mh is poor. i relate to what you say about not really being there and feeling distracted and overwhelmed by one's emotions. i used to have sick days for mh but feel so guilty about it... yes physical illness is so much better defined and supported. whatever you decide... in the mean time, well done for being in work despite how hard it is for you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusieQ Posted January 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Thanks for the replies guys. It's nice to know that people understand this problem. Lali - know that feeling of working harder when you feel bad - it's the 'at least I'm doing something productive' feeling. I try not to do that now and just be a 9 to 5 person as I can see it's not really productive at all. Brisbane - I also feel guilty about sick days. I have insomnia so sometimes I don't sleep all night if I don't have my med dose right. Even then I feel bad about taking the next day off. I feel like my boss is judging me. I have a colleague who has a lot of time off to see oesteopaths for her skeleotol problems and the like. She doesn't get a hard time at all. I wish I could challenge my boss on this difference of attitude, but then that is all part of the problem. It is an attitude though. You are depressed - it is all your fault. What are YOU going to do to change yourself? Are you on medicine? Yes - actually. Are you in therapy? Yes - actually. WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE PERMISSION TO BE SAD AND UN-MOTIVATED?! Even if I do get better, should I do that just so can work harder for you? Don't get on too well with my boss! Everyone thinks he's the don. I think he just got where he did by being bullish and I don't rate that. Anyway - rant over. I better get back to work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 hey antartic leech, sounds like there's a few things going on with your boss! i'm not meaning to trivialise your situation at all... just want to say that its nice that you have a sense of humour too. i sometimes wonder if the judgements we feel about being less productive or sick on mh are from our bosses or from ourselves... or maybe a combination of both. i know that when i feel shame i get super sensitive and can read into things... and sometimes even the way that i called in sick or act must have sounded odd to my boss because i was meek and i felt like a liar... confusing stuff. and everybody is allowed sad and unmotivated days antarctic leech, especially us peeps with bigger mh struggles... maybe we ought to allow ourselves this sometimes... what do you reckon? a day off from fighting so hard to hide it. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 ... and yeah, i only like to work for bosses i respect... that's a big one for me... and has caused me to leave jobs before. damn being so sensitive and principled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 hope things get better for u soon antartic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreedomToCare Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Sorry to hear that you're struggling at work @Antarctic Leech. Have you tried speaking to your manager or HR department about it? It can definitely be difficult for those who have issues with their mental health - MH is seen as 'invisible' and so their condition may not be acknowledged by others. Your workplace should accommodate to your condition i.e. if you are having one of your 'bad' days, offering support and breaks could help a lot. Hope everything settles down for you at work P.S. There's always someone to talk to here - when you feel overwhelmed, you don't have to bottle it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusieQ Posted January 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Thanks - I actually find it quite re-assuring that I can come on this site while I am at work. Brisbane - you are correct, a lot of my thoughts about my boss come from the way I'm feeling generally about whether I'm well enough for work. I just wish I didn't have to make those sort of judgement calls on my own. Anyway, I found out today that I am likely being promoted (that is - into the job I'm already doing!) - they are just taking their time getting it cleared with senior management. At least I feel a bit more appreciated and not a complete mug for working here - I was beginning to wonder about that as its taking ages, and the wondering doesn't help matters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brisbane Posted January 24, 2014 Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 Hi antartic leech, congratulations on your likely being promoted. perhaps you are doing a better job than you feel like you're doing? Or maybe you're a high productivity person so even if you're operating at reduced capacity you're still good at your job? Doesn't change the feelings though. But it does sound like you're valued at work... and they want to keep you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 24, 2014 Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 thats good news amtarctic that your getting promoted. Congratulations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 24, 2014 Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 Congratulation for your promotion, Antarctic! It smells good for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusieQ Posted January 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 Thanks guys. Yes I need to focus upon the positive. It's been a bad week but I need to get some perspective. Not everything in my life is going badly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Congratulations Lenina It must be so lovely to be recognised and appreciated in that way. but please also think of and take care of your mh, you deserve to be taken care of and it's difficult to work with any kind of illness. Tbh physical health problems aren't always understood either. It's true they're often considered more acceptable than mh problems (which is very wrong) but a lot of physical problems are as invisible as mh problems so there's the same problem where no one can see anything wrong. And like mh problems they're often something everyone has experienced very briefly and not nearly as intensely but because they have experienced it slightly and briefly, they decide I feel as they felt and as they weren't ill enough not to work then I should be working too. I can understand your jealousy completely though. I'm jealous of everyone who has a physical illness everyone understands and accepts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basimelhabashy Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 physical fitness is important for our health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkteeny Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 Hi I am new to this site i suffer from PTSD,BPD,ANXIETY& AUTISM and have done for a while im 22 and suffered with most of them 2 years but other ones i havew suffered all my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 I understand what you mean. I tend to go to work when I'm completely unproductive. It's only when I literally can't go in due to intense anxiety/phobia like feelings and plans to carry out ending my life that I'm off.... which is when things are pretty bad. ... now I am signed off work/paid PhD work, I'm not sure when I can go back. At present all that's keeping me going is the thought that I can end my life in just over a weeks time...not exactly back to normal lol. Was going to make my own post actually about the issue..... xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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