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Life Unpaused


fairytales817

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Well... I'm recovering from a bad weekend... a series of those days where I just didn't want to leave the house. I just stayed in my pajamas and moped around, not feeling like doing anything. It's like someone pressed the pause button on life. I swear the house could have caught on fire and I wouldn't have left just because I knew people would be standing around outside. I would rather have burned to death then to see anyone. I was getting more and more paranoid and feeling quite depressed, not to mention anorexic. :(

I don't know why I get this way. It's like whoever has the remote control for my life presses pause and I don't do anything until they press unpause. And Erik had gone out of town. That's what it feels like. It's like he felt and pressed pause until he got back. It's this whole emotional attatchment thing.

I feel better now. He's back in town and I'm eating again. Last night I got out of the house and went to a movie with some friends. Life is back on play. I'm feeling better and climbing my way back up into the clouds. Maybe I will stay off of cloud 9 for a while... settle for cloud 5. But... it's ok. I'm ok.

I just don't want this to happen again.

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sorry... it's going to happen again... you need to develope some proactive strategies for when it does.

in the mean time enjoy the break

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I'm with Bets on this one, you need to be prepared for when it happens again. I'm sorry you are going through this, i've been through it myself....over and over again. Do you have activities you can do that are just about YOU? like things you enjoy doing and can throw yourself into? So that when you feel the light switch go off, you can turn it on again by enjoying yourself. best to be prepared though so you can deal with it better when it happens again.

take care

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I have my flute. That's what I do when I feel bad. But... there's limits on to when and where I can play. A lot of the times everyone around here wants me to be quiet, so I can only play when no one's home.

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That's a good idea!! Is there anything else you could think of as a plan, like do things to spoil yourself....long bubble bath, make your fav. meal, light some candles, etc...You could even write things on a piece of paper so that if you get to that place again you don't have to remember them, you could just pull out that piece of paper with your ideas on it.

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