AppleCrumble Posted April 19, 2014 Report Share Posted April 19, 2014 So I'm still off work (PhD) I've been signed off until 12th May, which will be 7 weeks I think. I can get paid for 13 before they stop my stipend/payments. I'm not really in a fit state to return. At present I'm still getting bad anxiety even thinking about the future or returning to work. I need to decide though. If I do return, I've been looking into going part time which means longer to complete the work, but it would also mean I'd have to find a part time job to have enough money to pay the rent etc which would probably be stressful too.... plus I'd need medical evidence to show I wouldn't be able to do it on a full term basis....not sure what sort of evidence this would be. So I'm in limbo. I keep on promising myself I can end my life end of April. I'm not sure of the practicalities yet and whether I'll have the guts either... I'm scared of what a mess I'll be in if I don't go through with it. Anyone got any thoughts? Thanks Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted April 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2014 Having thoughts about leaving my cats and what will happen to them without me. Feel bad leaving my hubby too. :-( xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 20, 2014 Report Share Posted April 20, 2014 Oh my apple, so sorry that you was here with this... no, making the plan to kill yourself, in april when all the complications and practicalities of finance, come through, does not seem like the best plan... Yes, these things are real fears, I lost a house, and have rental arrangements now... I had to de-fault on many payments, no credit score now... In fact, I fight for agency over my decisions...the money practical as it is, is NOT WORTH DYING FOR... I did not know how I would live, but here I am...No one can ever really know apple... but may I humbly suggest, that you arrange from now, to pull back, from all responsibilities now, before things get worse... When you are at you best and balance, the PHD, will become again, main focus... I do not want to joke about things so serious...but Blimey apple...take a hit to your lifestyle before you take a hit on your life!! I am concerned for you, I really hope some people that know you are here, and have contact with you... usually I have an easier time to say what I feel and think...not my day either on line friend... Can only hope you can feel the compassion and sincere well wish for your personal wellbeing... PLEASE BE SAFE APPLE, do not plan to leave us, plan to reduce your finances and differ your course, Moonbeambethxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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