Carthraziel Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 This is a self portrait I did which is pretty much based on an reoccuring irrational fear I have that my life history is written all over my skin. I just feel worried at work that customers and my co workers will look at me and just know things. I feel like I have all the horrible things written on my face and that other people read it and laugh to themselves as I walk past. Although I would have prefered to embaed this image it comes with an 18+ warning for some moderately graphic nudity. Self portrait Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Thank you for sharing, I admire your strength and courage for writing about how things are for you and drawing the picture. I really feel such sadness for you that you see yourself in such a way, how frightened and exposed you must feel. In certain respects I can relate to this. Prior to and during my therapy I would feel that people could sense and thus know how bad I felt about myself and I would feel at risk of being laughed at, ridiculed and bullied. if anyone was nasty to me, I felt it was because they knew that I felt worthless, so they were treating me as if I was worthless. The reality was/ is that there are decent folk and not so decent folk in the world. if the not so decent folk witness someone with their head down, looking vulnerable and their body language depicts this, then they will take advantage of this, because they wouldn't dream of abusing someone that had good self esteem, so they pick on someone who looks more vulnerable and an easy target in their eyes. No one knows Carthraziel, it's because you know, its because you don't feel good about yourself. But from one hurt person to another, however upsetting the picture is, I could also see a hurt, vulnerable and courageous person in the depiction of yourself. Someone worthy of love, kindness, being nurtured and treasured, someone who is crying out to be seen as her true authentic self and she is there…I can see her, more than I can see the pain, its because I can also see the hope xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Hello Carthraziel, thank you for your very honest, open, and brave share of Artistic expression... It has really blown me away, so raw, and so honest, that is why I liked it...I do not 'like' the experience, that you are having, which lead you to create the work, that I share with you tears for compassion and some understanding as with Buzzybee... But I celebrate the fact that you put it into process and shared this...thank you sending this through the portal... I admire you very much at this time for this work...both senses... Well wishes MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 It successfully communicates the message you want it to, that its delicate, uncertain and fragile in line and that it radiates anxiety and vulnerability. Bravo and good work Carth. More drawings please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carthraziel Posted May 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2014 Thank you for the kind words. I feel vulnerable doing things like this but my theraist is telling me to challenge this feeling because even if I show people something like this, they still know nothing about me. Even if I told my life story to someone, they still wouldn't know me. The more I challenge this feeling of vulnerability the safer I feel..... O_o I never would have thought it worked that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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