Worrying

[Lily-Bee]

Hi all

I am an obsessive worrier, causes me great anxiety.

Ive learned several things though to help myself with this. Thought Id share and invite you all to add to it if you have tips. Theyre always welcome!

- When I start to worry about something obsessively I write it down and while writing I write out things like; is there anything concrete I can do to feel less worried? Is there any point in worrying about this, there never is, worrying doesnt solve anything.

-I try to remind myself that I cannot predict the future.

- If there is something concrete I can do I do it.

- I accept that I feel worried and that those thoughts are there but if I get stuck in my head I try to do things to get me out, distracktion, focussing on breathing etc

-I am kind to myself as this is a hard and painful thing for me.

-Sometimes it helps to say to myself tomorrow eve Ill worry about this again see where I am at for say 30 mins until then I will leave it be,

-I keep what I wrote down so I can reread it and also to know its all written down so I dont have to keep going over it in my head.

-I try to stick to my routines and not let my worrying anxieties take over to the degree all I do is sit and worry.

-At times it helps to talk it over with someone, other times that just invites hanging onto it.

-I practice mindfulness

-I practice correcting my overly negative assumptions

-I remind myself usually things turn out ok and that usually the most logical outcome is the one that indeed will be the outcome. Those are usually simpler and less scary.

Lily

[mousie]

wow Lily

this is such a great list thank you

i do similar with my ocd checking

i write down what i check

then i tick it and take the note with me

and if i feel the impulse i just see the note

i am going to try to use your list too

thank yooooo xxx

[detroitguy]

Hi Lily - I think for me learning how to "accept uncertainty" in life has helped me a lot. You can google something like "learning to accept uncertainty" to find topics about this. I think a lot of us with mental health issues have problems with uncertainty because life had been so uncertain for us, especially those (including myself) who have had stressful childhoods. If we have always felt "uncertain" as to whether our parents really cared about us, I think this follows us throughout life and it takes courage and mental training to stop worrying so much about things that are out of our control. I believe if we can at least be somewhat certain about important people in our life caring for us through thick or thin, it easies the worries about other uncertain things in life. Also, I think it is so important to start loving and caring about ourselves. Indeed, self love is the strongest of all and if we can cultivate it, it can never be taken away. Detroitguy

[Saharah Blue]

Lily,

I am glad you posted this, I really had a light bulb moment reading this, it reminded me of some questions I use when I find myself in the throws of obsessive love. It also made me see that I have not only NOT been mindful lately, but that I have not been honest with myself in a long time about me true feelings and desires.

Below are an example of some of the questions I have used to help me reduce obsessive thinking and behavior. After awhile a portrait emerges and I can later see clearly what my really needs and fears are. Then I can work on them either myself or take them to therapy and get help working through them.

Logging Your Obsession: Your obsessive behavior, whether you or not it involves contacting your lover - is prompted by strong feelings. Every time you become preoccupied with thoughts about your lover, or interact with them, make and entry. If you have a passing thought, you don’t have to enter it, but if it persists, it’s important to put it in your log.

August 10, 2008 (5:34pm)

1. What caused the thoughts: Cleaning the house, to distract me from my obsessive head, glanced at the clock, seeing that is was 5:30, realizing that is was 12:30 in the UK.
2. What did you think: Surely if he has been round to his mothers and been online he will have gotten my email and possibly have written back, maybe it isn’t too late to call again?
3. How did you feel: Impulsive.
4. What did I want to do: Check email.
5. What did I do: Checked email and social media.
6. What was the result: No movements in either places. I don’t need this, so why entertain it. I need to go back to cleaning and doing for myself, I need to do good things for myself. I need to keep trying to make good choices. At least I turned off my cell phone it just amplifies it if I think I can reach him from any available locale I happen to find my intruding thoughts taking over and ruling my behavior. Okay, enough get back to work girl.

[maddy harper]

i use to worry to the point of not eating till they put me on clonapin