Which Therapies Help Bpd?

[silent girl]

I have had it 20 years but only just diagnosed. I start DBT shortly and my GP has referred me to a mindfulness course. I just read Keira Van Gelders, book "The buddha and the borderline" and it blew me away, I could relate to so much. But found her journey through DBT, IFS and then buddhism really interesting. It also made me see why previous therapists who completely took me to pieces and character assasinated me, sent me flying under the duvet for 3 weeks at a time, no validation on emotions at all.

For me, the book really helped because I have a greater understanding of me and whats going on and have less of a sense of hatred for myself now. (Just huge failure.) I have nobody to talk to about this as I live near a small village and dare not tell anyone or I will be the village loon, and frankly am already viewed as a loose cannon!

I'm not on meds, but have at various times had, quetiapine, certraline, venlafaxine. etc... none really helped. The venlafaxine helped the depression but made me more short tempered and after nearly hitting someone in public, I was so wary of prison that I came off it. Nothing seems to bring me out of depression, yet take the edge off. Sadly!

So what has helped anyone here?

[addy2]

I had cbt which I found really useful it was for anxiety and panic disorder this was before I was dx with Bpd. After I was dx they made me leave cbt for trauma therapy which I found too hard so they then referred me to dbt which was the biggest mistake I had a yr and a half of intensive therapy group and one to one it finished in April and I can honestly say I feel far worse then when I started my anxiety is back, panic attacks, afraid to leave the house because of the panic and my depression is so bad I was in hospital earlier this yr because things got so bad and I was asked to take a break from dbt which triggered me more. This is just my opinion and loads of people love dbt but I found it the most invalidating therapy I ever did I'm not a child and the way they treated us was ridiculous. I'm back in trauma therapy and trying to recover from the effect dbt had on me. I hope it works out for you. I should also say I never took meds until I did dbt and now I'm on an antidepressant and anti psychotic

[lightworker]

when i was depressed i went to a mind art group in our local town i went every week for a few years and i loved it when i got to know the people most of them are in a simular situation as me it was the start of me getting better and finding my confidence etc i have only ever done an anxiety course with the mental health team and that was good to,

i cant cope with large groups of people but the mh team tried to get me to go to complex needs i tried 3 times and failed over the years then had an ultimatum to either go to complex needs or leave the mental health team and there support. so i left. i was deemed unsuitable for 1 to 1 therapy

lightworker

[recurrencebat]

I had psychodynamic therapy and for me it was extremely helpful. I think DBT can be very useful in terms of learning to keep yourself safe, but for me psychodynamic helped me connect with a sense of identity. I haven't really looked back since then. This is my first venture onto this forum in years and it's simply having time which prompted it. I'm well on my way to what I would call a proper life - only occasional mood swings / intense reactions, a career, a good relationship. Good luck with the DBT. Mindfulness is something I generally recommend to everyone - hope that course is useful too. I try to be mindful now whenever I can and find it really helps in keeping control day-to-day.

[lonelyheartemma]

I think maybe the most helpful thing is to find what helps you as an individual and not just base it on diagnosis? Even though we might all have the same diagnosis we are all individuals with different problems and experiences so I think we are all going to need different ways of getting help. I know this isn't what people want to hear, I really want the perfect answer to my problems, I really do want someone to come along and say 'this therapy will help everyone who tries it' but it's just so horrible when you get your hopes up and then the experience doesn't help.

I have heard a lot of people say that dbt is good for bpd and cbt makes it worse. So when I was told I was getting cbt and I couldn't have dbt I was terrified! I didn't want to do anything that was going to make me worse. In the end I got a therapist who was officially cbt but he said he knew bits of other kids of therapy and he would bring them in when it was appropriate. I found the cbt really interesting and validating and really helpful at the time even though the effects didn't last. Sometimes it was challenging, there were some difficult things to think about but it wasn't usually upsetting. The dbt on the other hand was either seriously upsetting (in the book I was told to read) or boring (when we did it in therapy)! It made me feel like even more of a freak than usual because there was so emphasis on 'you're a normal person because you do this' and it was all stuff I didn't do! So for me as an individual cbt was good and dbt was bad.

But at the same time it might not have been dbt that was the problem, maybe the cbt was just more sensitively presented. A therapist is so much more flexible than a self help book because they can meet you and get to know you and respond to you as an individual. Self help books tend to be aimed at the majority of people and that's something I've never fitted into.

So to kind of answer your question- it seems like on average dbt is more helpful but that doesn't mean it will help for you. Try everything you can because you never know what will work to do, it might be you need a mixture of different therapies. And self help books probably do help some people, there are advantages because you can go at your own pace and do it at any time and sometimes it's easier to have a book in front of you than it is to have a real person.

Another thing with therapy is it doesn't always work straight away and even though a task isn't helping you know make a record of it because it might help in the future. So even if it's working it's often worth sticking with it if you can because you never know. My therapist gave me one exercise that didn't work for me right when we started but then near the end of therapy I suddenly 'got' it, I don't use it exactly as he said, I've kind of done my own version but it does help. Therapy teaches you things for the future as well as for the present.