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Who Cares?


Eagleheart

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Who cares about the absent ones? I have felt concern recently for several people-catsmother;pandora;jinxsta-these are but a few. Why do we let people fade from our memories? It seems that unless you are constantly posting,then you are quickly forgotten,which is so sad because it just feeds our belief that no one wants to know us.

I share this because i know how it goes from both sides. But i want to beg you to let folk know they are not forgotten. It may make a life-saving difference.

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I miss the people I used to know on here years ago :( Some wonderful people who'd always offer advice and support to anyone in need. Bless those people who took the time to help others, even when their own lives were falling apart.

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I miss people and wonder how they are but if you don't have their info to contact off the forum there's little you can really do but hope that maybe they come back or at least are having a good life off the forum xx

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I miss them too but unless they come back to the forum I can only pray that they have a good life. I sure hope they have! I agree it's a bit sad that we have no news. Mousie and Lapwing have given signs of life recently but not the many others I miss.

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there will always be people who come and go

or leave for ever

we cannot remember them all

and although we understand - personally - how much it hurts when we feel forgotten

that is a lesson of life

something that we - here - find challenging and painful

but unavoidable nevertheless

we have to remind ourselves -

our value remains the same - and we ALL remain equally precious - regardless of who else thinks of us

also - for us - the thing that stings most hard is when people list those they think of, and we are not on that list -

(that is not related to your post, eagleheart)

it has happened in the past, and perhaps we have done it too

and frantically searching for your own name, only to find it is not there, is like being wiped off the face of the earth

we TOTALLY understand, and feel the pain of feeling that we don't matter

it is with us day in day out and has been for most of our life

we must all learn to give ourselves our OWN Value

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we do understand eagleheart

we really do

it was everglades (inside us) who has the wiser words

but she doesn't feel the pain that the rest of us do

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It's good to read all your views. Thanks for sharing. I wrote this topic because i know how it can feel when you are a highly sensitive person. I take things to heart all the time. I assign meaning to situations where there is no meaning. I am constantly misreading my hubby's mood,thinking that i've really annoyed him when he is actually thinking about a problem with the car. So i admit that i over react & feel hurt if i've been absent from the forum & have seemingly not been missed.

That is the downside of being highly sensitive. But the benefits are very rewarding. It makes us highly compassionate & able to feel others' pain,which can bring great comfort to a despairing soul.

Ok. I've gone on too much & not sure if i've articulated my point properly. Sorry.

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I have been a part of this place for years now. Indeed, I am the 4th most prolific poster in the whole forum.

It would hurt me to think that people here wouldn't be thinking of me. However, i have several people from here on my Facebook and that works quite well for me - I have like-minded friends around who can give/receive support.

Sometimes I think this forum is too big for me, I think I would prefer something smaller where there were less lurkers and people were more active.

I think I will ALWAYS need something like this forum, whether I am "well" or not. I feel too alone otherwise :(.

I think its nice that you feel concern for those people Eagleheart, it shows how much you care.

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(((Eagle)))........you are a very special person and always show care for others...........I just want you to know, that though I may be very quiet, and find it very difficult to share, weirdly, especially when I'm struggling...........you are never far from my thoughts and I want to thank you for being so supportive so many times towards me, even though, me, meself can be like a clam. i want to say here and now that you matter to me and I do miss you when you are not around, but how the hell would you know that if I don't say nuffink!!!...............Ive really appreciated your friendship and kindness and caring when I haven't been able to give much of it out myself, but more than anything, I thank you for showing it..............and I do miss you when you are absent, even if I personally don't always show it...... :bigarmhug[1]: (P.S, along with lots of peeps and the peeps you mention, I think of them too, and hope they are doing OK) :grouphug[1]:

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First of all,many thanks steve & Data,your honesty is a beautiful thing. I keep coming back here because this is the only place i feel accepted & none of you are frightened of me (yep,so called friends in rl have totally withdrawn from me since i told them i have bpd).

Pickle-i am completely gob-smacked by your post. Do you really feel like that about me? It's unbelievable yet awesomely beautiful. I truly think i mean nothing to people here. I really am taken aback & feel humbled by what you've said.

I love you guys *blushing profusely*.

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eagleheart

we keep coming back here too

its been over 6 years

and this place is even on our care plan as the place we are most likely to turn when we are in crisis

because it is here

and we are so sick of bloody mh staff working 3 days, or not the right days, or changing days, or being on leave,

or it being in the evening or weekend when none of them are around

or the mh line which can only give us 20 mins

or just a bunch of people who don't 'get it'

so yes

HERE is vital for us

and we are always thinking of people from here, but no one would know that

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You ask who cares? well I do. I guess if I was cared for and missed I would prob care more.

Been here nearly 10yrs and no one has ever missed me. Yeah guess feeling sry for myself, but hey ho, I will as usual let it go. what else can u do?

There is plenty people I miss from here, but there is nothing I can do, just get on.

Good to see ur still here eagle.

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Barbones-your post really made me think & i sincerely apologise for all the times i may have overlooked you or taken you for granted. The apology extends to others who i have hurt through ignorance or my self absorbtion. I think a lot of the time,when i come here,i am in absolute selfish mode. It's all about ME & MY pain. I am so so sorry for those times which i know i am guilty of. Every person here matters. You are all important & valued. I send you all my love.xxx

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You have nothing to be sry about. we come here and talk about what is going on with us. however I know we all can make friendships and work or they are lost.

im not on this site because of feeling left out, im not here due to I have probs in my life. Yes I could be saying here, but ive done it for 10yrs and if im not saying right thing then I cant offer anymore just now. I would luv to share about my life just now, but I don't feel safe.

I will post when im ready x

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You have no idea how much i appreciate your honesty Barbones. I hope you will find more support here than you have had in the past. I certainly want to offer you friendship & encouragement but with no pressure to accept it until you are ready. We all need to care about each other. Thankyou for your input.xxx

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I notice when I haven't seen someone for a while but I get a bit nervous about asking where people are.

I'm scared of

hurting the people I don't mention

looking stupid by mentioning someone who has been here, it's just I've missed them because I'm always disappearing

making things awkward by mentioning someone who's banned or left after an argument or something

and (sorry if this upsets anyone) I'm really terrified of being told someone has died.

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I totally understand where you're coming from LHE but we should push through that fear & ask after someone anyway. It may make a huge difference,without us knowing for sure. I include myself in that btw. Caring takes courage.xxx

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I don't come on here much, because I generally have a lot of things going on. I expect there are lots of people like me, so I don't worry about people who are just not around for a while.

I remember the first person who I met on here and talked to enough to feel a connection. I really wanted to meet here in real life as I was fairly lonely at the time, but I never got her details or anything. I was really sad when she stopped responding to my posts. Then I realised from reading a post that she had chosen to leave the forum due to some falling out with the guys running it. I still think of her sometimes and wonder what she is doing.

I also remember ICUbaby, who sadly did choose to end her life (was quite a while back now for those who remember her). She got on with a few people on here but had little support in her wider life. I was really sad to find that out - you feel a bit helpless when it does because you realise the limitations on the support that this forum can provide.

It is limited, and sometimes people find support elsewhere. That's the way I generally view people's reasons for leaving / not posting.

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I do pop in to read some posts as i wonder how you guys are doing. Sometimes I secretly wish that my name comes up as one that is missed. That desire to be wanted, to live in people's minds, to have had an impact... As much as I wished my posts to generate lots of interest. You know!

I find it very interesting that our stories can be repeated even in an online forum. I know others to whom this happens in here.

I stopped posting because I was spending so much time in here, not able to balance my involvement. The guilt and the wish to help others. That everyone gets better and free, my ultimate desire.

Lovely people I haven't forgotten you and I'm sending you lots of love and strength.

xxx

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I've been on here for ever but I'm not really a poster sometimes when I feel I can relate

I remember icubaby there was someone early on that also died people that posted loads have moved on people come and go as in life

Gone but not forgotten

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