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bibiddi

Hello.

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bibiddi

Hello.

For those who remember me, big hugs and love to you all.

To those who I have not yet met, hello :)

I'm popping in because I feel the need for a little support, but also to let people know what is happening with me.

I was on here for years, and this place helped me on so many dark days, and darker nights.

I felt trapped within myself, and almost everytime I tried to get somewhere better, even if it was a good thing, ultimately I ended up back feeling trapped and alone.

Then I decided I needed to mix with real people, and took a step into my community.

Luckily, I met some wonderful people who have helped, and inspired me, without them knowing it. They have never asked about my problems - I have been treated as an equal, and valued as a person.

They have shown me how good it is to listen to myself, and find out what makes me happy - and then do it.

I am doing lots of different things, for no other reason than it makes me happy. I have feelings I have never had before. I am learning to trust and value myself.

Do I feel like I am cured of my mental health problems? No. But it has put me in a position where everything is lined up for a good outcome.

The reason I am back, is because I am between therapies, and I find the waiting - not knowing what or when, or even if,it will happen very difficult to handle. My negative view of myself is fighting my newly learnt positive view. It would be so much easier to go back to being the person I was. But hopefully it wont happen.

I am learning not to let those feelings control me. Today I want to be alone at home, and reject the outside - I know that is my way of trying to have some control over my environment.

But tonight, I have an fun evening class to go to. I may be quieter than normal, but that doesnt matter. I will be there.

Apparently, I have inspired others too.

Even writing that feels wrong, and egotistical. But its not. I matter. I matter to good people, not abusive ones. And more importantly, I matter to myself. :D

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Threemoons

Hi Bibiddi, nice to meet you. I'm always happy to hear good news from anyone so thank you for these. I don't find your thread egotistical at all. Rejecting the outside and staying in a controlled environment at home is something I do a lot so you fighting this habit is a big source of inspiration for me. Can I ask how you involved yourself in your community? What activities do you do with others? I was involved with a small association last year but got very disappointed and haven't tried again yet. Anyway, well done you, keep going and know that we're here if you need a boost.

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bibiddi

Hi threemoons

I have done things that make me happy, I joined a little walking group, a craft group, a gardening group, and a group of people who believe in doing random acts of kindness. I could meet up with them all each week, or I can meet just one. These are the ones I have stuck with. I did join a debating group, and a social group, but they didnt make me happy, so I chose to not go to those.

I found them through the newspaper and facebook.

Thank you for your welcome :)

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Eagleheart

How lovely to hear from you,to feel your positivity leaping off the page. It is wonderful.

You have fought hard to get to that place. You're feeling a bit insecure,in limbo,and this is when you must be stronger than ever to hold on to what you have acheived. Just a little longer hun. Stay strong. You've done amazing work. Well done.xxx

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Data

Even writing that feels wrong, and egotistical. But its not. I matter. I matter to good people, not abusive ones. And more importantly, I matter to myself. :D

I would never believe that you are egotistical after all the work you have done for this place. I've often noticed you in the background, doing your mini-mod bit. A silent hero :).

Enjoy your evening class, and best of luck with the therapy - I hope you don't have to wait too long.

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