Diazipam

[kivutar83]

Hi,

i am new here but really struggling, i first had a sketchy diagnosis for BPD about 12 years ago but after seeing a CPN and CBT for a while i got it under control with no meds etc. But recently it has been getting worse and escalating to a major crisis point, so i went to the dr last night who is getting me an appointment for CPN again etc and gave me 2mg Diazepam to help control the panics in the mean time. He said they would take about 40 minutes to work and i could take up to 3 in a day.

Anyway about an hour after i went to the drs panic set in real bad again - took a tablet ... waited ... nothing ... after an hour and a half i phoned the dr again, he said to take a second one ... so i did and i waited and nothing .... we are now up to 3 hours later on and the drs are now closed, i am panicing so much by this point that i am shaking and cant breath ... so i take another 2 diazipam ... by this point it is 4 in three hours ... i only have 21 to last me until i get a CPN appointment ... i am still stressing and end up getting into a huge row/ screaming fit

Should the tablets be doing more than this? should i actually be able to feel some difference with them? Do i phone the dr again or is he just going to get annoyed with me for constantly being in touch?

Please help me, i am not coping and scared

[Eagleheart]

Hiya. So sorry you're feeling so dreadful. The diazepam won't be a miraculous cure but they should be easing your anxiety a bit. Maybe you are expecting too much of them.

You can really help yourself by doing a couple of things. Firstly,calm your breathing. Take deep regular breaths & really focus on them. Also,you could try fixing your attention on some pretty object in your room. Describe it in detail-see every little detail. These things will not be a total cure but they honestly DO help to give you a break. Hope you start to feel calmer. X

[kivutar83]

I have tried all the usual coping techniques that i have used to control it since i become med and cpn free, going for a walk, yoga, distracting my attention, keeping a routine, trying to control my breathing, relaxation mp3's ... but over the last couple of days nothing has worked and it is scaring me because i cant control it.

It has all started due to my friend getting ill with a chest infection, logic tells me it is only a chest infection and she will get better but my head tells me otherwise and so the panic spirals and i am not coping.

Have now given in and phoned the dr back and now waiting for a call back ... i am scared he will just dismiss me as a time waster but need to do something

[Eagleheart]

Sorry nothing's working. You need to be strong & demand that your gp listens. Try to tell them everything,take your time & talk slow. When you're panicking,you can talk too fast & be incoherent. Hope you get the help you need.x

[kivutar83]

At the moment i am just hoping he rings back - i guess it is a BPD thing but in my mind now i am thinking he isnt going to ring back because i dont matter as much as everyone else

[Threemoons]

You do matter as much as everyone else, I swear. Don't worry about possibly annoying the doctor, he's paid to help you so he'll be happy that you give him work. Well, he would probably be happier if you were healthier but it's not the case. You can't stay like this anyway. Keep trying everything that worked in the past, it may not work yet but it doesn't mean it wouldn't work after a while. Have courage, the doctor will ring you back. In the meanwhile try to not accidentally overdose on the diazepam, I know how easy it is to panic and take more than we're supposed to.

[complex-lemon]

Diazepam used to work for me, but in general when I took them I had a higher doseage level ie 4mg or 5mg.

Wouldn't take more though just because not working just yet. Stick to dose.

But maybe make another appointment or hopefully a phone appointment, some surgeries do this.

Maybe a higher level or a different drug. Some medications simply just don't work with some people.

Ie all or biologies are very different so potentially a similar drug but different one might be more effective.

The only other one I took was Lorazepam, which also aided sleep too.

No alcohol with these two though ie they will not work at all if drinking with these meds.

Speaking from experience.

Best wishes though. hope sorts itself out soon.

Complex-lemon.

[kivutar83]

thank you for all your support, not understanding why you are willing to support me but grateful all the same. The dr did ring me back and has now given me paxil? does anyone have any experience of it and how long it will take to start working? he said i shouldnt need the diazipam with the paxil but should i carry them with me just to be on the safe side? i am trying to carry on as normal, trying to keep a routine, trying to keep my job but everything is just so hard to focus on.

i printed out the leaflet on BPD advice for friends and family yesterday from here to give to my main support and friend K, she wasnt interested and they went in the fire ... scared i am going to have to fight through this on my own. She says it is only a mind set and mind sets can be changed by me if i really want it. so do i not really want it? is that why i am like this? is it my fault?

[artemis84]

Hi kivutar, I had to reply to your last post because it made me angry on your behalf to read of your friend's reaction. BPD, or any other personality disorder for that matter, is NOT just a mindset. No no no!! It is not your fault either. It is true that with time and practise, people can learn skills that may help them manage their BPD symptoms but you can't just think it away! To be honest, if this was her reaction I think you are better off without her input. To me it sounds like she is the one who has a fixed mindset! Sorry, I hope I haven't spoken out of turn but just wanted to offer some support and welcome you here too

[Threemoons]

I agree with Artemis, BPD is an illness, not a mindset. It's not your fault.

[complex-lemon]

It is not your fault kivutar.

Unfortunately at times, some people just cannot deal with us at our most down. Have experienced that myself at times too.

Hope the new one works. Don't know if you have a crisis line you can ring locally if really struggling alone some times. I quite often rang samaritans just to physically talk something out with random listener on the phone.

That did ease my mind a little at times too, enabling me to get some well needed rest at times.

Think number (08457) 90 90 90.

But yes very best wishes and hope talking on here can help you too.

[kivutar83]

Hi, It isnt her fault, she is ussually a lot more helpful so i am hoping it is just because she has a cold and cant deal with me at the same time, i just wish she would try and understand but we cant always get what we wish for i guess.

Yes have thought about the samaritans but i have real problems talking on the phone or face to face at the best of times - god knows how it is going to work when i have to start seeing the cpn again.

I thought yesterday the tablets might have been working a little but i guess that was wishful thinking as i have now read that paxil takes up to 6 weeks to work and this morning i was in tears again before i had even got dressed .... i guess tears are better than me flying off the handle and loosing my temper though ... for everyone else at least.

Does anyone have any experience of Paxil and if it is likely to do any good? i am still currently mixing it with the diaxipam, no one said not to, admittedly no one said to do so either but doing everything i can to not feel like this even if it does involve taking enough pills to sedate a small rhino.

Thank you for all your support guys.

[Bubbles..]

Diazepam doesn't work for me either.

[complex-lemon]

I am on a higher doseage of venlaflaxine now to counteract my anxieites and so now don't have to resort to diazepam at all.

I know most gp's and consultants are really wary to prescribe diazepam too often because it can be very addictive.

I think when I was on it, my anxiety was incredibly high but on taking a tablet or two the effect was instant for me, almost like waving that magic wand, but they eventually looked at putting me on venlaflaxine to counteract my anxieties in a supposed more usual way.

Despite saying they don't like people being addicted to it, I am aware of some that have been taking it very long term though.

Like all meds - incredibly dependent on the individual.

[Threemoons]

I'm glad that your medication was adapted. I'm on venlafaxine as well, it helped me a lot during my last hospitalization. Hope it helps you the same.

[Stellar]

Hi kivutar 83,

It would take at least 10mg valium to register on my brain.The trouble also with valium is,docs don't like to prescribe it for extended lengths of time.Mainly for addictive qualities,have to withdraw from them if on too much for too long.Plus the latest evidence points out links to dementia and the use of valium.

They took me off it a year or so ago and prescribed propananol,which i don't like.Mainly because there appears to be no external calming effect,or should i say internal,anyway you don't feel the buzz(if you know what i mean).Works on a different neural pathway(of some sort).

I find the best thing for my anxiety now,is distraction,anything,as long as you are bust.Exercise is the worlds biggest natural calming tool.

I also have BPD and am approaching the last 3 months of an 18 month group mentalisation based therapy(MBT)course.Learning to know why you feel the way you do and that you are not alone are Two giant steps towards understanding and coping with the anxious times we all have with psychological issues.

Take care

Stellar