Good News From Data

[Data]

NOTICE

This is a work of fiction I wrote for myself!!

This month has felt good so far as more things are going well than usual. My wife has agreed to some sessions of family therapy with a psychologist, so we can finally tackle the dysfunctional dynamic in our family. The psychologist really engages with us all without judging, and even though the sessions are expensive we can afford them and real change in our behaviour is happening already. Our daughter is arguing with her mum less and managing the stress of her homework a bit better.

And most importantly, the therapist has been able to help with our son’s behaviour. He is still autistic of course (he has a firm diagnosis now but it is mild) but has less tantrums, is more on task at school, and relates a bit better to his peers. There has been the odd blip, but things are a lot better and we are less worried about his future now.

Now that we are getting on better, we are making real progress with the house. I took two days off work last week, and we have hired a mini-skip for our rubbish. My wife has committed to having a more organised system in the house, with set places for things. We are labelling drawers and removing clutter. We have set up a rota for housework and we are making the kids get involved. Gone are the days when the kids did nothing! It’s been difficult getting them to chip in at first but we are getting there. Things are tidier already, and the main thing is we hardly ever lose or damage anything.

It was tough going back to work after a couple of days off, but I must say work is a lot better now as well. They are giving me more support, and have assigned me a mentor. Most of my experiments and programming are going right these days, it’s only occasionally I have a day when I struggle. I don’t have much to do with the guy who supervised me previously now, they have assigned me someone else who has better social skills and who I get on with more. I have made so much progress that they have decided to give me inflationary pay rises (2% this year) and they are saying I am almost guaranteed a job when my contract ends in 2016. They have also said I can work from home 2 days a week, which really helps as the commute is 2 hours a day, and being a software developer I can easily manage home working.

I have been running my walking/hiking club for a couple of years now and that is going strong. In fact I am feeling healthier nowadays, mainly because I have started a diet. My weight loss is very slow, I am losing about half a kilo a week, so I have about a year to go. And some weeks I only lose a quarter of a kilo. But I’m sticking with it!

It really helps that I have stopped drinking as well. Since the sessions with the therapist have been so successful, I’ve been able to find other ways of managing my stress – through meditation and mindfulness. I still have bad days but I can cope with them much better. Drink is empty calories so I am proud I have not had any for over a month now.

My wife found my swimming trunks when we tidied the house and I’m going swimming once a week. This has helped me feel fitter. I know once a week isn’t ideal but it’s better than nothing!

Perhaps the main thing that has improved is my feelings of purposelessness. Now I am getting more enjoyment out of life, I can see a purpose in just getting through the week as I get things out of life – I have good days. Also, I have started to teach myself French. I am thinking of taking an evening class, but I’ve got a book and a self-learning website at the moment. I am really getting into learning another language! I am also going out and doing a LOT more photography. I’ve just bought a digital SLR camera and am making myself read the instruction book from cover-to-cover… boring but necessary! Several of my photos have already showed interest in the photography forums and I’m really beginning to develop this as an interest.

Because people are helping me out and supporting me (my family, the therapist, my work). I have managed to break out of the 'victim mentality' that I used to have. This has meant that I feel much less anger. Anger was a driving force in my drinking, so a calmer Data is very welcome!

Lastly, despite the fact that I’ve made nearly 10000 posts here, I’m not going to be using the forum much nowadays. I think I will pop in once a month just to say hi to some old friends. Onwards and upwards!

[DaisyChain]

very creative, well done

[Eagleheart]

Well done Data.

Wishing you all the best.

[Data]

very creative, well done

Well done Data.

Wishing you all the best.

Thanks people, I enjoy writing fiction occasionally.

Its really liberating sometimes just to fantasise about the sort of life you want to have. When you are writing fiction you don't have to worry too much if its realistic .

[detroitguy]

Hi Data,

I am really proud of the progress you have made! I always thought there was real potential in you improve and make something out of your life and it seems like you are really doing it! Good luck in your life pursuits! Take care - Detroitguy

[artemis84]

Nice post They always say 'fake it til you make it' - maybe just writing this will put something into action somewhere within!

[walker]

totally confused

do you mean none of this is true

[Data]

totally confused

do you mean none of this is true

you are correct Walker, its all a fantasy

Hi Data,

I am really proud of the progress you have made! I always thought there was real potential in you improve and make something out of your life and it seems like you are really doing it! Good luck in your life pursuits! Take care - Detroitguy

Detroitguy - this is creative corner, its a work of fiction. Thanks for your kind words though

Nice post They always say 'fake it til you make it' - maybe just writing this will put something into action somewhere within!

Maybe artemis, I never thought about that until I read it back the next day and now I think it has given me some insight.

[PDBPD]

Data...I read this believing all these changes had happened..I didn't look at the section of the forum.

Truthfully mate I am a bit annoyed...trying to be clever you have wasted people's time in my opinion. It's sad you know if you stopped drinking your family life would improve

Steve

[Data]

Data...I read this believing all these changes had happened..I didn't look at the section of the forum.

Truthfully mate I am a bit annoyed...trying to be clever you have wasted people's time in my opinion. It's sad you know if you stopped drinking your family life would improve

Steve

Ok thanks for your opinion.

Its not my fault that you don't read things properly though.

I think your analysis of my post is very selective and judgmental.

[walker]

well although it seemed too good

we feel upset as it was totally misleading

its up to you what you write

we don't see it as creative

sadly we feel lied to

but then when we write in this section its about real pain and real feelings

sorry for being so fking gullible

[PDBPD]

Walker..you put it better than I did. I feel gullible...I'm not judging you Data I am telling you my opinion.

Poor taste posting in that way...people care about you

Steve

[Data]

well although it seemed too good

we feel upset as it was totally misleading

its up to you what you write

we don't see it as creative

sadly we feel lied to

but then when we write in this section its about real pain and real feelings

sorry for being so fking gullible

Given that it was in creative corner, and that everything I said in the post is totally unrealistic, I'd have thought it was obviously untrue.

In my view it was creative, as it was a fantasy.

It was also an indirect outlet for my feelings. I post in here about how angry, upset, confused, guilty and jealous I am here again and again and again, and I wonder if it actually does ANY good. So this time I thought I was doing something different.

Walker..you put it better than I did. I feel gullible...I'm not judging you Data I am telling you my opinion.

Poor taste posting in that way...people care about you

Steve

In my view your statement "It's sad you know if you stopped drinking your family life would improve" is an implied judgement. You isolate one thing from my post and use it as a way of attacking me. As if my drinking is responsible for the difficulties in our family, its not true and I find the implication offensive.

So you think its poor taste, its like anything creative I suppose, some people will appreciate it, and others won't. But you'd think that if you didn't like it, with this being a mental health forum, which is supposed to be supportive, that you would just ignore it rather than having a go at me.

[walker]

given that everything in the post is explicitly related to things you have often talked about, and are current issues

and given you never said anywhere that it was untrue

well

there we go

some people obviously get you

we don't

[PDBPD]

Data..I'm not attacking you mate..I think a lot of your problems are due to alcholism. It is sad that you know that but can't admit it...or you can admit it and call it a story

It seems I have offended you and you have offended me, we can move past this now please

Steve

[bluemoon5]

Oh data, I think maybe people.wanted it to be true.for you and you were so convincing with all the detail. It did occur to me that things don't change that quickly and you might be in for a down after all the positivity. I wish we could change our lives so quickly. But some of what you aspire to is within your grasp. Maybe the post has some goals to aim for. Like the house and some home help support. There are lots of social care personal assistants in my area who are.more than cleaners and you. Ould advertise locally for one, they cost around £10 to£15 per hour and can help with helping your wife and you straighten the house and help her set up a system. X

[Data]

Ok I will reply again tomorrow. I don't want to get into an argument, its not necessarily helpful.

[guntarded]

Over the many years I've known you, I also thought it was true - and a remarkable turnaround. I, too, did not read the topic properly as I clicked on the link to newest topics to the right of the forum, rather than go through creative corner. I will not criticise, it is your post. I hope for the sake of innocents in your household that you gain some of what you hope for in your fantasy. Your suffering is not alone, but your house seem also to suffer from issues - whether they be environmental, genetic or both (as children learn from their parents). You all deserve much more.

[Data]

Over the many years I've known you, I also thought it was true - and a remarkable turnaround. I, too, did not read the topic properly as I clicked on the link to newest topics to the right of the forum, rather than go through creative corner. I will not criticise, it is your post. I hope for the sake of innocents in your household that you gain some of what you hope for in your fantasy. Your suffering is not alone, but your house seem also to suffer from issues - whether they be environmental, genetic or both (as children learn from their parents). You all deserve much more.

Ok guntarded, I will message Lily-bee to ask if I can edit it to put an explanation on it.

You say "I hope for the sake of innocents in your household that you gain some of what you hope for in your fantasy".. that is appreciated, but I am hoping that doesn't mean you classify me as "guilty" lol.

Our house does suffer from issues. Its not alone. Millions sweep them under the carpet......................

[PDBPD]

good luck

Steve

[walker]

we weren't arguing or criticising

and indeed we read the things that we hope for you

that we could see as possible

we are upset

because we feel we were lied to

that's all

NOT because you meant it like that in any way

but because of how we feel

we hope

we have always hoped

for the best for your family

[Eagleheart]

I feel like a complete fucking idiot. Do you know how overjoyed I was to read of your life improvements? My (quite suicidal) mood soared when I read such positive changes. I thought "maybe full recovery is a real possibility for me."

But NO. It was all just a wind up. I am utterly deflated.

[Lily-Bee]

Guys I can understand its dissapointing that its not true but Data meant no harm obviously.....he has asked me to put a notice above his post and I will do so...

[bibiddi]

I read it with the disclaimer at the top,so knew it was going to be fiction.

The strange thing, and I suspect one of the reasons why people may be upset, is because it revolves around fact, but also,because all the things that make Data news Good, are that the changes are all possible, and that each change has a knock on effect to improve other areas of Datas life.

All the good news is believable.

We can see it happening.

Now, if the fantasy had started with Data zooming home on his hoverboard.......

[Data]

I am sorry if people felt deceived, I should have put a notice on the top. Thanks Lily-Bee for doing this now. I didn't want to make people feel bad by posting this, it wasn't my intention at all.

Perhaps some of my responses were a bit over-sensitive. All of my problems are not due to alcoholism, but if Steve thinks that then they may just be being misguided rather than judgmental.