social worker linguistic issue

[lonelyheartemma]

Hi I haven't been on here for ages but I do think about you and hope you're ok. Of course it's very easy for me to say that and it probably doesn't sound convincing. But it is actually true. There are things that remind me. Words that remind me of your usernames and then I think of the last time I read a post by you. I don't really like to pick people out in case I upset the people I didn't mention but the word data often comes up in conversation or on TV or someone mentions walking and I think of Walker.

But anyway, my social worker. There's a phrase she uses a lot and it always throws me and I don't know how to respond for it. The first couple of times she did it, I assumed that either she wasn't listening properly or that I'd been unclear. One of my ex boyfriends used exactly the same phrase and he had major problems with listening to what people said so I assumed he just wasn't listening to me.

But as my social worker is trained in how to listen I'm wondering if it's actually a colloquial phrase or part of a dialect and I'm just not familiar with it.

What happens is I'll make a statement like "I don't get on with my sister" and my social worker will reply "Is it?"

I'm trying not to let it throw me- if it's a dialect thing then she's doing nothing wrong by using it and the problem is I'm ignorant. But I don't know how to respond to it. Do I converge and use the same verb and construction as she did and reply- "yes it is"? Or do I say "no it isn't" because my original sentence was negative? Or do I stick with my original construction and say "no we don't"?

I know it's not strictly necessarily to respond in this way but that's naturally what I want to do when someone asks me a question like that- I want to confirm that they have understood correctly and I really did mean what I said.

[DaisyChain]

I personally would take is as asking is that so? or is it so, but being shortened to is it?  Hope that makes some sense, I would carry on and explain more if she is saying it in an asking way as she is wanting to understand more about the situation.

Though I can understand your confusions and frankly I think it would annoy me

Hope you are keeping well emma x

[Kitsune]

Best thing to do would be to talk to her about it and bring it to her attention so that she can clarify. it sounds like it might be a colloquiolism but the best way to find out is to address her directly, and it'll take some of the worry off your interactions : ).

p.s. it's lovely to see you again xx

[Benway]

Hi Emma, I just popped by and i know what you mean of thinking of people every day from here.

As for your question, I would continue to speak 'proper' english to her if you are not used to this colloquism or dialect. I am sure you re not the only person who finds this off-putting. Stick to your original construction.

I use dialect and 'localisms' when with friends,  but I wouldn't in a job where communication is key.

Good to 'see' you

Hugs xx A.m

[lonelyheartemma]

Thank you for the replies It's lovely to talk to you all again.

Tbh it does annoy me Daisy. I feel really bad for being annoyed so I'm glad it's not just me. I think you're right, "is that so" probably is what it means.

I wish I could ask her about it Kit. I'd like to be able to understand her better and I'm also interested in language. But I'm really worried about speaking to her about it because she might think I'm being racist.

Hi AM, I'm glad you're still posting here, haven't spoken to you for ages. That's a really good point, if I stick to what I know then I'm not going to be wrong. Well hopefully not!

[Saharah Blue]

That would drive me around the bend I would ask that she rephrase her response because I wouldn't have even understood it to start at least you all know what was being inferred. Benway is right, she is in a profession capacity and should behave accordingly.

[lonelyheartemma]

Hi Sah

Maybe it is unprofessional. I'm careful of what I say to her - I don't swear even mildly, I only speak English and I try to speak only Standard English because I want to make sure she understands me. If anything she should probably be making more effort than me. Her written English is very poor too.

I don't want to be too fussy though. It is more important for her to be good at social work than it is to speak and write properly and my written English used to be terrible.